Saw My Mother!!!

by RichieRich 43 Replies latest jw friends

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  OnTheWayOut

  Send her flowers for no reason other than to say "I love You Mom". If your Mom has a wedding anniversary send a card and flowers with Note I Love You Both. Don't overdo it but still feel free to express love, regardless of the rejection. You might be surprised it will make you feel good because you are expressing love with out conditions and it just may tug at her heart.

  I agree with Sheri. Don't let some rule from a cult change who YOU are. Show her you still love her, maybe that will help her. It's no loss if it doesn't help, because you aren't communicating now.
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  troubled mind

  ((((((Richie))))))) Listen to Sherri , it's very good advice . It is a positive approach and a healthy way to extend your inner love you have for your mom. Rich do you still have your Grandparents ? Can you talk with them ? If you can get as much family love from them as you can it just may help you deal with missing your mom so much . Becareful and don't allow yourself to fall into the quagmire of resentfulness and bitterness. When these feelings come up replace them by doing something postive and uplifting for yourself or someoe close to you. I am so sorry you are going though this . I have three son's, two are still JW, and it scares the life out of me thinking that one day they could shun me . God could never want this for his creatures , never .
• 

  carla

  I'm sorry Richie.
• 

  carla

  I don't know if the anwer is to contact mom or not. How many times have we seen on this board (or others you may frequent) the continual cycle exjw's put themselves through with their parents? The ex thinks there is hope of a relationship as limited as it may be, only to find out the parent or family member only used the ex for some reason? And then broke the ex's heart by telling them they again can no longer associate with them unless they go back. It's a hard call to make, to put yourself through the ringer time after time or let it go for awhile and hope the jw can rise above the dictates of men.

  The mom side of me wants to say, yeah send flowers. Because it would mean a lot to me as a mom. What would it do to a jw mom though? Break her heart? Toss them out because they came from this ungodly offspring she gave birth to?

  My gut reaction would be to protect Richie first, she is supposed to be the parent here. He is young and trying to get his life in order and have goals to attain. The mom's job is to help him do so, not hinder it with emotional blackmail and the drama of jwism. Sometimes our kids make choices we don't agree with, that is part of growing up. Hopefully we did what we are supposed and they have become responsible adults able to take care of themselves.

  Either choice he makes it will not be easy. How strange to me that he even has to make such a choice. Odder yet that she has made the choice she has.

  In my thoughts Richie.
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  mouthy

  I think it is good to drop a line & say you love her but the Flowers???? If she is really under mind control they may end up in the garbage,,,,,,I had a sister-in-law I made a JW she was very ill I always used to drop cards in the mail to her.Telling her I loved her. After she died her son ( not a JW) told me she saw the return address & tossed them without even opening them...She would say "How dare she now she is with the Devil"So wasted cards are not that expensive but Flowers today cost a bomb....
• 

  Satans little helper

  Dude, you have had the balls to get out of there without wasting as much of your life as some of us did; I commend you for your strength of will and for the sense and maturity you have shown, but you are going to find this hard for a time yet.

  What makes it worse is that they see this as our fault, not that they have a mental illness, rather that we have walked away from their imaginary friend that they see as more important than their family. It adds to their persecution complex when we get angry and try desperately to make them see the error of their ways, unfortunatley it is all too often counter productive because it makes them feel more justified and it makes us feel more rotten.

  All of us have been there, I was 18 when I was DF'd and since then I have not had parents; you get past the pain with time, and with the support of good friends.

  It sucks like a bastard, but it will make you stronger, I promise

  SLH
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  JH

  Someone has to pay, and at the moment, it appears to be me.

  It should be a few men in Brooklyn who should be paying Richie.....and with lots of interest !
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  jgnat

  Mouthy!!!! Love your new AVATAR!!! It's YOU!!! Did JH build it for you?

  (((Richie))) you know my feelings on this. I sense some scottish principles holding you back from approaching your mom.

  Did you know it was two scotsmen who invented copper wire? They were fighting over a penny.

  I laugh about how true that can be. But most outsiders don't realize, it's not about the penny. It's the PRINCIPLE of the thing. Remember, a scottish grudge can last for generations. Sometimes you gotta step back and ask if it's worth it.

  If you decide to approach your mom, remember to do it with caution. She has no qualms about striking your soul. I wonder if she even understands what she's doing when she lashes out.

  Remember, in the end, she's already done her worst, and you survived. You have come in to your manhood, and your whole future is in front of you. From now on, she does all the missing out.
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  fullofdoubtnow

  (((Richie)))

  I really feel for you, this damn religion!!

  I reiterate Sheri's advice. Keep on showing your mum how much you love her and care about her, and hopefully she'll come round in time.
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  mouthy

  Mouthy!!!! Love your new AVATAR!!! It's YOU!!! Did JH build it for you?

  NO jgnat!!! Ftoth made it for me. Since he figures I am a "rough Nut" I think.I asked my grand-daughter to put a picture on since I am gray now & not the color of the old one & this is what she put on. LOL