Stupid JW Humor

moomanchu

I apoligize for this I'm just sharing some of the e-mails I recieve from my JW relatives.

The Kingdom of God is hiring! Are you ready to apply? Do you qualify? JOB TITLE:Disciples for Christ JOB DESCRIPTION: Tell the dying world how to obtain real life through Jesus Christ NUMBER OF AVAILABLE POSITIONS: Unlimited; everyone is welcome d --preachers, teachers, singers, musicians, missionaries, custodians, food servers, and numerous others that we just can't list them all here . EXCEPTION TO AVAILABLE POSITIONS: The vacancy of BOSS has already been filled . QUALIFICATIONS: Must excercise faith in the ransom sacrifice, g ood heart condition and willing to put on the new personality as Jesus taught. EXPERIENCE NEEDED: None necessary; experience will be earned through on-the-job training EDUCATION: The Holy Spirit will teach you all things BENEFIT PACKAGE/SALARY: Jehovah God, the employershall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus INSURANCE: Access to the Master Physician PACKAGE ALSO INCLUDES: Love, joy, peace, patience, long suffering; Lawyer, Comforter, and a Wonderful Counselor RECOMPENSE FOR COMPLETING THE JOB ASSIGNMENT: The most important benefit, ETERNAL LIF E. DEADLINE FOR APPLICATIONS: Before the return of Jesus Christ; date/hour not known; wise to apply TODAY IMPORTANT WARNING: Satan and HIS DEMONS need not apply

They are so stupid they don't even realize what they believe.

They are applying for a position to be in the kingdom of God.

Last time I checked the kingdom of God according to the wt was Jehovahs heavenly Government of 144,000 with Jesus as king.

chiddy

Not bad , good try , I like it!

aquagirl

um,im really looking for something w/a good 401k and a dental plan...hahahha

fullofdoubtnow

There seem to have neen a lot less applying for the post in recent years, and a lot of former employees have left. Perhaps they should improve working conditions for those who they currently employ.

Narkissos

The wording strongly suggests that, with the token addition of "Jehovah God," this piece has been shamelessly borrowed from some segment of "Babylon the Great". I don't think the JW version of the Kingdom of God has any job for "singers" and "musicians" these days.

parakeet

***The Kingdom of God is hiring!***

No, thanks.

1. The hours violate current labor laws.
2. Coworkers often create a hostile working environment.
3. Supervisors are unreceptive to new ideas and innovation.
4. No time off for weekends or holidays.
5. No holidays.

parakeet, a disgruntled former employee

mama1119

Good stuff. It makes you embarrassed for who ever thought it up.