Were YOU A Mindless Witness? (page 3)

minimus

I know a lot of Witness women who have their own mind. And they don't care what anyone thinks!

I had more control over my life as a single person. I was happier deciding which meetings I would attend and which I would miss etc. But when I married at nearly 30 I lost control over such matters. After years and years of this slavery I went numb and days melted into weeks and on into years of meetings, conventions, bible studies, and service.....all a blur of mindless living...waiting....waiting for God to do something.
I was so unhappy! I used to take walks wearing a big hat so no one could see my sobbing. (Who the hell does that???) And all my obedience to it all was supposed to make some sort of difference in my rating after the big A.

AuldSoul

As I have posted before, I never knew I had never been a JW.

Shooting Star

Yes I was a mindless Witness! I "studied" a lot but studied according to the prescribed way...proving and disproving with the societies own literature. My thinking was very shallow and I never looked to outside sources for confirmation and answers... BUT I was well studied! Makes me ill now. Once I started doubting the new light issues regarding the generation and blood, etc., I just lost faith but didn't do outside research.

Of course, the internet has opened all of that up.

Also, regarding being a mindless witness... I was not only that, but just mindless. Reading ANY outside literature, even fiction, was discouraged. I have read little of the greatest literature in the world. I have read no philosophy because it was forbidden. Now, my mind is growing, and I am working hard to make up for lost years.

Duped, in many ways.

SS

PoppyR

No! Looking back the seeds were always there. I started by having my nose pierced, then I would wear trousers to the meetings. I think the brothers just rolled their eyes and thought I was a rebel, but I hated doing things just because a MAN (read person, I'm not a man hater!) had said it was right or wrong.

I was counselled about my nose piercing and told I could not pioneer. I took it out. But within a couple of months I had it done again. I vividly remember one of my last meetings the brother giving so much personal opinion it was all I could do not to stand up and shout about it.

Mindless in the sense I believed it, but not spineless!!

Poppy

Quandry

Not mindless, but voiceless. I had doubts, but was afraid to voice them---even to think about them!! I knew I had a mind, but fear, fear, fear, was so controlling.

Eventually, I did think that since I was attached to "Spiritual Israel" I didn't have to think for myself, so any doubts were kept deep inside.

But every once in a while, just every so often, I would wonder how in the world a creative day could be 7,000 years long. What about the dinosaurs? How about this generation thing? They told me to be confident that the ones who were alive in 1914 would not pass away until the big A. Then I'd think, NO, NO!! Do not think about this. You horrible, doubting person. Wait on Jehovah.

Glad I can use my brain again, now.

Honesty

Were you on automatic pilot? Did you consider yourself a "Stepford" family member? Did you do everything you were told to do, automatically???

Yes Yes Yes I finally came to my senses, hit the EJECT lever and punched out of that doomed aircraft.

bikerchic

Nope I did my own thing, my own way and in my own time.

becca1

Auldsoul-You gave words to my feelings! "I never knew I wasn't a witness". Being raised a witness I did all the expected things but always had questions. I still remember things I would ask my Mom when I was very little. I always bucked the system in my own way-not blatantly, but having my own take on things. I've always thought some teachings were just silly-like animals not eating other animals. I had worldly boyfriends in school(parents never knew). I've never felt "religious". I don't think I would have a religion had I not been raised in one.

However, I had no voice or outlet for my feelings. I always knew to be careful of what I said and did. I learned very early how to cover my tracks. Being a witness was never trully "me".

serendipity

I was very mindful in some areas, but other areas I was mindless. Of course, some would say I was never a 'good' JW. That's something of a compliment, now.

Were YOU A Mindless Witness?