I want to call my mom...any advise???

by megsmomma 15 Replies latest jw friends

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  Big Tex

  Has anyone had success in talking to a relative and saying SOMETHING to get them to THINK for themselves?

  No. No more success than trying to get an alcoholic to stop drinking or a drug addict to quit taking drugs. She won't see or hear what you have to say until she's ready and when she wants to hear it. Otherwise, you are wasting your energy and time.

  I left 13 years before my wife. In those 13 years I argued, I reasoned -- I tried everything I could think of. Most of the time she'd say she agreed with everything I said but she'd still go to meetings and out in service. It wasn't until she found a reason to leave that meant something to her that she finally made the break.

  My best advice is to get on with your life and do not wait for her. Let her know you are not excluding her and that she is welcome to talk to you. Exiting has good and bad sides. Freedom is part of the good; losing family is part of the bad.

  Chris
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  sammielee24

  Tried. Got nowhere. Tried it lovingly. Tried it with reasoning. My whole family is still in and there is no communication at all. In the end, you can try the 'I'm not a witness so I don't have to play by their rules' game - and simply call, write or knock on their door and carry on a conversation or visit as if all were well - but sooner or later that too becomes pathetic. Change addresses and see if any JW relative notices or cares. Change your phone number and see if it registers in their lives. My advice is that as hard as it is - let it go for now - it's less stressful than trying to change anything that can't be changed.
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  Quandry

  My advice would be to every now and then send a card with a cute baby picture and just say you love her. Then after quite some time I would send a card, sign my name, and beneath it write the scripture----- God is love. Then wait and see if that does anything. She will have to be cold as a stone to see that and keep with her shunning.

  What the WTS has asked of people has got to be gut-wrenching for them. It is the most unloving thing I can think of.
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  megsmomma

  THANK YOU all very much. I know it is hopeless but I still hope.....I know she is brainwashed and I just focus on my current life now. It hurts,but I am OK. I love you all!
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  sammielee24

  It does hurt and it always will - time is a precious thing and to have it wasted by order of the watchtower is disgusting. It is sad when a person has to fill out a 'next of kin' form for any notification of accident, injury or death - only to realize that despite having a family - they have no family to notify. sammieswife.
• 

  Why Georgia

  Hi Megsmomma,

  My husband and I are in a similar situation, but 7 years later. My husbands mother is an excellent grandmother to her JW grandkids. Our children are ignored. It was extremely hurtful to me and my husband, but honestly my oldest son doesn't notice because my parents overcompensate for the lack of my husbands mother.

  The only time it seems to really bother our son now is when he hears from his cousins what Grammy did for them...then he gets upset.

  But we limit those relationships too because the JW cousins are not so nice, they know our 2 sons are ignored and rub it in...vindictive little sh*ts.

  I really try to see it more as a rejection of my husband and I, spilling onto our children. The sins of the father....etc.

  It really is my Mother in laws' loss. My children are polite, brilliant and so loving...and she gets none of that.

  Best Regards,

  Chrystal