Good gods, Candidly... what a horrible story... *HUGS* to you and so glad you made it!!!
The Watchtower Societya Woman's Perspective
by The wanderer 33 Replies latest jw friends
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Good Girl or Bad Girl?
i didnt like how i was treated (Long story..will spare you)..anyway ex was df'd.. i quit my 12 hour a day job cuz i was pregnant.. first day off of work and ex gets up and gets mad at me because he dropped an egg on the floor..he slams me into the fridge.. that scared him because he thought he might be in trouble if anyone ever knew so to distract from that issue he calls the elders and tells them to come over.. to show them how messy my house was..
i got counseled on my messy house.. counseled on being submissive and not letting situations escalate that would anger my husband.
they talked to my ex just like he wasnt df'd and talked down to me like i was a chastised child.
he wasnt counseled AT ALL about slamming a 5 month pregnant woman into the fridge.
i just sat there and bawled and didnt even try to defend the messy house because i was working 12 hour days, had 3 small children, pregnant, getting to all the meetings, service , studying w/ kids cuz ex was df'd and i was responsible for their spiritual growth while he was df'd.
that was one of the turning points for me.. i was knocking myself out for NOTHING. (side note.. one of the elders that came to the house later killed himself.. i heard cuz he'd got himself in a financial mess because he was sure the end was very soon..left the financial mess for his wife to clean up)
This is TERRIBLE, candidly, you are AMAZING, you survived all that!!
Hugs to you!!
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crazyblondeb
According to the way the Society viewed women what did you
think about there standards regarding the dress code?**That their standards were just barbaric and stupid.
Since the organization historically had more women than
men, how did you view the brothers? Did you like them?
Were they considered desirable?**There were only a couple "brothers" (and I say that with a laugh), that even caught my eye. They were known as troublemakers. None of the "regular" brothers apealed to me. They were too "stuffy", or boring, or too demanding. I knew I would never marry one!
Personally, I did not like the "Submissive Susie Home-
maker" that the Watchtower Society endorsed. Though,
what is your view regarding their code of conduct regard-
ing women?**Their views are too barbic. It's run by pompous assholes. This religions allows them to be domineering and demanding. We can see it by the abuse and neglect that goes on. They use it has an excuse, and hide behind it.
** Can you imagine Jesus treating his family like this? I sure didn't want a marriage like my parents, or any of my friends' parents. NO man is going to talk down to me, or tell me how to dress, what to think, or anything like that. It's a religion, no cult, made up by a man, for men.
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inbyathread
Four Lights - Welcome and a very good choice for a name. The story line from where it came from is a good one.
I will never tell the elders that there are five lights.
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Bonnie_Clyde
On the subject of breastfeeding, I find it hard to believe that society still frowns on it in public. My youngest is now 32 years old, and I always breastfed him at meetings and assemblies right at my seat. One time it was even in a restaurant. I just threw blanket over my shoulder and hid him under it. No one ever objected.
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rebel8
I'm not saying society as a whole frowns upon it. I'm saying my area does.
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purplesofa
The Watchtower Society—a Woman's Perspective
I found it excruciating to always keep my mouth shut. And always being passive. In business, I dealt mostly with men on professional level. If I needed to speak with an elder.....I thought nothing of doing it without someone else present. I soon found it that women would get jealous. I was single and had to deal with things on my own.
Unless a woman is married to a brother or has family in the truth, she will be in the dark about most of what is going on. I found that most of what I needed to know was passed on word of mouth and well, I was not in the IN crowd until alot of years later in the truth. I thought it unfair that sisters could only do talks and nothing else. If we knew a way to do things better, it was better just to keep it to ourselves.
The Way the Sisters Dressed
I felt like alot of sisters used the frumpy way of dress to just be lazy. I have a big issue with the dress code thing.. I think they are just too hung up on how people look instead of how they really are inside. I felt like we could not be individuals in our dress, express our personalities fully, or our sexuality. If a sisters dresses in style then she must be worldly.
Your View of the Brothers was it Desirable?
I was always trying to find a brother that could take the lead........not to a submissive wife, but would be a real man. I think my view is a bit warped as I raised 5 kids........divorced most of my adult life........I had to make alot of things happen. We are head of our households, and I think it is intimidating. So to play that doting, you are so smart and have all the answers game was next to impossible for me. The congo seems to dismiss what a woman sacrifices to NOT date, have men for friends, not marry and not do a damn thing but go to meetings, baby showers, weddings and funerals.
The brothers seemed to be looking for a sister that pioneers, looks like Barbie, works full time, no baggage, and a virgin. A lady to the congo and a slut in the bedroom, which is fine. But the brothers inexperiance in relating to women floored me. And acting so goofy if you were alone with a brother like it was a major sin. Grown men to me acted like teenagers when mingling with women.
I could not stand to hear a man whimper about not having a job or enough money or any crap like that. I knew what it took to make it, I had to be tough and by gosh so should they!!
Brothers seemed to get a break if they were the ones that were alone or had custody of their kids, while sisters seemed to be expected at a higher standard.
The Code of Conduct that was Enforced
I felt suffocated, squashed, stagnant, phoney, rediculous, and depressed at the way women were treated. But then I never really like the whole structure of all that kind of stuff. Let the women do this or that and the men do this or that. My daughter and I hated cleaning the hall, but did not mind the outside stuff.......We volunteered to put out fertilizer and pull weeds........One time I went to an outside cleanup and the men trimmed the bushes and the women picked up the cuttings and bagged them.........sick sick sick.
I guess I was not a very good sister.
purps
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LeslieV
The way women are treated by this cult is the reason I walked out. I was married to an elder, and had three daughters. I realized when my oldest daughter was 12 he was already telling her who would be a good catch from our local area. Of course, that would only be other elder's sons. I told him right then that these girls were going to college. Gee you would think I told him that they were stripping. So I walked out with my girls and have never looked back. Lost all my family and friends, but my girls are in college with many aspirations in life. THANK GOD!!! No man is going to tell them what they can, and can not do. They will decide for themselves, just like their mom.
Leslie
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parakeet
I once heard an elder's wife describe a brother she disliked as "worse than a woman." Such self-hatred! And all endorsed and encouraged by the WTS's demeaning dictates on women's place in the congregation.
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there are four lights
Thanks for the welcomes :)
Now, it may not be terribly enlightened of me to not be able to avoid getting nauseous, but it's the reality. Others get offended by it for different reasons--again, maybe not very good reasons, but the reality is they do get offended. Regardless of the various reasons, I think breastfeeding in public should be avoided so as to avoid offending others. in areas where it's not the norm. JMHO
How kind of you to consider strangers feelings in this matter. However, when my baby is hungry, I am only worried about his feelings. I don't feed my baby in dirty unhygenic bathrooms, I don't make him eat in places that I wouldn't eat. Since I'm not going to stay home until my son is weaned, then breastfeeding in public is what we do, and I have never had any problems with it in my area other then at the kingdom hall or at witness gatherings. I'm sorry to hear that it makes you nauseous, but I don't think that response is the norm. My point though was not to debate wether or not a woman should breastfeed in public, but to point out that at the kingdom hall the choice was made for me and I really resented that. It is my choice were to breastfeed, and due to the sexist nature of the JW's, I was not allowed to make that choice. In my normal everyday life I didn't give it a second thought, but within the resrictive culture of the JW's I felt I had to conform to their views on the subject even though I did not agree with them.