Wouldn't It Be Nice...

Justice-One

Wouldn't it be nice if we lived in a world were religion/cults did not get in the way of family relations? I have now gotten the "cold shoulder" for almost two weeks from my wife of almost 28 years. I'm sure it has something to do with finally telling her the Elders can kiss my ass, and that I don't want to be there when the Kool-Aid comes out. (Hey, she pushed and pushed, and I finally told her exactly how I feel...and I never raised my voice.) This is very sad, because (not tooting my horn here) but she could have done a lot worse. It must be hell having a husband who does not drink, smoke, cuss, gamble, chase skirts, and who HATES to watch football, and helps clean the house! BUT....I have made it clear that I no longer consider myself a good little JW automoton, and I'm paying the price. It is almost like the Elders have told her to limit her association with me! I wonder? I can only wonder where this will lead. Sad.

OnTheWayOut

Don't let victims of the cult change who you are. I will probably be in the same place one day.

I keep saying that I will be a good husband, understanding, forgiving, not too harsh on the cult victim wife.

Otherwise, it's got to be rough man. Stay busy with exercise, work, hobbies, JWS, whatever works.

Butters

Just keep loving her and forgiving her though. I wish I had a wife to nag about. You will work things out. I will pray for you,and hope peace is abound.

Love,

Butters

Carmel

Hey I can piss off my wife in the sweetest tone of voice! At least she can't accuse you of being a raving maniac apostate! Or, maybe she can if the idea is planted by the psychosurgeons of the Borg!

Hang in there mate! Hope for a miracle!

Carm

esw1966

I feel for you.

Being true to yourself and not succombing to the borg will help you in the end, but there could be some struggles coming your way.

I believe the elders encouraged my ex to divorce me. She looked for all sorts of loop holes!

Have a heart to heart. Don't allow her to manipulate you by giving you the cold shoulder. Take charge of the situation and face the dilemna you are both facing. Tell her you love her and that you love God, that you are there through thick and thin as you stated in your marriage vow, that you support her in her life but as for yourself you cannot go along with the borg's teaching.

Place yourself in a good position so that SHE will have to do the unscriptural thing if she chooses. Make her see what the religion pushed her to do. Maybe THEN she will begin to question things.

I hope the best for you, your situation, and your marriage.

p.s. - NOT that you would get a divorce, but if you would happen to get one I have learned through experience and readings that the one who is PREPARED has a MUCH better time of it rather than getting it DUMPED in your lap. I would recommend you reading some books on how to prepare for it if it would get to that point, NOT saying that it would but being forwarned is to be forarmed! I lost EVERYTHING! She stole so much! It was nuts!

JWdaughter

She isn't supposed to do that-according to her religion and the Bible. Remind her of her obligations to you as a wife. She may not respect YOU, but she has no scriptural reason to give you the cold shoulder. An unbelieving spouse is not to be divorced, but she is to relate to you as she did before-though w/o discussing spiritual things.

Little Bo Peep

When my husband first began "looking" it really upset me. He'd want to show me things, and I'd not want to look or hear. Finally one night I began crying, saying before long he would be out of the "truth" and I would probably be out too. He burned in the fireplace everything that he'd been printing, but he couldn't leave it alone. In a couple weeks, he was back on JWD. One nite, when we got home from meeting, he made the comment JW's didn't have Jesus as their mediator. I was angry, and said it was just apostate talk. He said he was reading it for himself on the computer. I spent the next 2 hours looking up everything I could find on the CD ROM about "mediator". Sure enough, he was right. That was a beginning of my doing my own research. Maybe a gentle hint here and there would help. It worked in my case.

Little Bo Peep

BlackPearl

Hang in there bro. As I heard it said on TV one time in a show, "Either it will work out....or....it won't."

Justice-One

She isn't supposed to do that-according to her religion and the Bible. Remind her of her obligations to you as a wife. She may not respect YOU, but she has no scriptural reason to give you the cold shoulder. An unbelieving spouse is not to be divorced, but she is to relate to you as she did before-though w/o discussing spiritual things.

Yup.....and communism looks good on paper. It has always been this way with her. Even when I was "luke warm" and just beginning serious fade mode, she would always say "I don't want you to go to the meetings for me, I want you to do it for Jehovah." Then she would procede to be pissy for days. BTW, did anyone ever hear the talk at the Circuit Assembly where the CO said...."brothers, your wives will LOVE YOU MORE if you study with them," over and over? That one led to a big tear with the wife, as she interpreted it to mean, you can give the cold shoulder to get what you want. That talk is what pushed me into full fade mode.

Justice-One

Hang in there bro.

Thanks for all the kind words. The above really brought something home to me - you know at the Hall it is "brother" this, and "sister" that. But the fact of the matter is I NEVER felt like any of these people were my true brothers. The love just was NOT there. Now that I have expanded my horizons, I have made TRUE friends. And one of them after many years has come to be the brother that I never had (in the flesh, or at the Hall....I trust him behind me with a rifle, and that says a LOT in my book. ) And I might add the other friends that I have in the "world" are far better than any I ever had in Da Troof. They are real people and real friends. Not the shadows of such you find at the Hall.

So, you hang in there too bro. It is good to have people you can talk to, isn't it?

Wouldn't It Be Nice...

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