Comments You Will Not Hear at the 10-22-06 WT Study (September 15, 2006, pages 20-24)(CONTROL TONGUE)
Review comments will be in red
WT material from today's WT will be in black
Quotes from other sources will be in quotes boxes
w = Watchtower
g = Awake
jv = Proclaimers book
www.biblegateway.com/cgi-bin/bible (various Bible translations online)
www.reexamine.org (WT publications online)
www.silentlambs.org (child abuse)
www.ajwrb.org (blood issue)
http://www.randytv.com/secret/unitednations.htm (United Nations issue)
SHOW LOVE AND RESPECT BY CONTROLLING YOUR TONGUE
"Let each one of you individually so love his wife as he does himself; on the other hand, the wife should have deep respect for her husband. "-EPHESIANS 5:33.
Opening Comments
As I talked with elders over the last few years, I learned that one of the problems that had a life of it’s own in JW congregations was verbal abuse in marriages. While people readily see a danger in physical abuse, evidenced by bruises and emergency room visits, they did not see the "bruises" and "scars" caused by verbal abuse. Elders lacked the skills. As you read through this article, what skills are given to the elders and what tools are given to the husband and wife? Will they work?
START OF ARTICLE
Notice in the first picture, the woman is talking and the man is looking at her, but she is not looking at him.
Q1, 2) What important question should all married people ask themselves, and why?
1) SUPPOSE you received a gift-wrapped package with a label that read: "Handle With Care." How would you treat that package? Surely you would take every precaution to avoid damaging it. What about the gift of marriage?
Handle with Care
Where have JWs heard that phrase before? Does the WTS say that marriage is to be handled with care because women are delicate and fragile, the "weaker" vessel?
*** w91 2/1 p. 22 par. 11 Honor Men of All Sorts ***
"You husbands, continue dwelling in like manner with [your wives] according to knowledge, assigning them honor as to a weaker vessel, the feminine one, since you are also heirs with them of the undeserved favor of life, in order for your prayers not to be hindered." (1 Peter 3:7) That certainly should make every husband think. It is as if a wife bore the label "Precious. Delicate. Handle with care! Bestow honor!"
2) To the young women Orpah and Ruth, the Israelite widow Naomi said: "May Jehovah make a gift to you, and do you find a resting-place each one in the house of her husband." (Ruth 1:3-9) Concerning a good wife, the Bible says: "The inheritance from fathers is a house and wealth, but a discreet wife is from Jehovah." (Proverbs 19:14) If you are married, you need to view your mate as a gift from God. How are you treating the gift that God has given you?
Notice that the institution of marriage or a safe, economic situation with a husband is the gift to a woman, not the husband himself.
Whereas women are an "inheritance…from God" property just as a "house and wealth" are.
So where do these scriptures say that your mate (husband) is "a gift from God"?
Q3) What admonition of Paul do husbands and wives do well to heed?
3) Writing to Christians in the first century, the apostle Paul said: "Let each one of you individually so love his wife as he does himself; on the other hand, the wife should have deep respect for her husband." (Ephesians 5:33) Consider how husbands and wives can heed this admonition with regard to their speech.
Does the WTS teach that husbands should respect their wives?
w03 7/1 p. 4 How to Develop Genuine Love ***
The Bible says that husband and wife should love and respect each other. (Ephesians 5:28; Titus 2:4)
The next question, do JW husbands respect their wives?
Beware of "an Unruly Injurious Thing"
Q4) How can the tongue be a force for good or for bad?
4) The Bible writer James says that the tongue is "an unruly injurious thing" that "is full of death-dealing poison." (James 3:8) James was aware of this vital truth: An unruly tongue is destructive. Undoubtedly, he was familiar with the Bible proverb that compares thoughtless words to "the stabs of a sword." In contrast, the same proverb says that "the tongue of the wise ones is a healing." (Proverbs 12:18) Indeed, words can have a powerful effect. They can hurt, or they can heal. What effect do your words have on your marriage mate? If you asked your spouse this, how would he or she answer?
An unruly tongue is destructive
As you read this article, think of other areas in life there this "vital truth" applies. Where have you seen unruly tongues, elder meetings, elders meetings with the rank and file, official and unofficial, between JWs, JWs about non-JWs, etc?
Q5, 6) What factors make it difficult for some to restrain the tongue?
5) If hurtful speech has crept into your marriage, you can change the situation for the better. However, effort will be required. Why? For one thing, there is the imperfect flesh to contend with. Inherited sin exerts a negative influence on the way we think about and speak to one another. "If anyone does not stumble in word," James wrote, "this one is a perfect man, able to bridle also his whole body." James 3:2.
Gossip—a woman’s problem only
*** w55 8/15 p. 498 par. 7 Gossip Can Destroy You! ***
Not all individuals have the same weaknesses. To counter our weaknesses we must first know them. Do you have a weakness for gossip? If you do, admit it; millions of others keep you company. Admit it, and fight it! How else can you overcome it? Though it may not be pleasant for women to hear, the Bible seems to indicate that women trespass with the tongue more often than men. This is not to say men do not gossip. They do. Some gossip more than women. But women as a group are guilty of gossip more than are men as a group. The Bible specially cautions women: "Let the aged women be reverent in behavior, not slanderous." Also, "Women should likewise be serious, not slanderous." It is when discussing women that the Bible states: "At the same time they also learn to be unoccupied, gadding about to the houses, yes, not only unoccupied, but also gossipers and meddlers in other people’s affairs, talking of things they ought not." Not the male tongue, but the female tongue is the one singled out as the irritant in households: "A wife’s quarreling is a continual dripping of rain." Again, "A continual dripping on a rainy day and a contentious woman are alike; to restrain her is to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in his right hand."—Titus 2:3; 1 Tim. 3:11; 5:13, NW; Prov. 19:13; 27:15, 16, RS.
Effort will be required…inherited sin…if anyone does not stumble in word…a perfect man
So the imperfection card is being played or the stage is being set.
*** w00 7/1 p. 20 Good Examples—Are You Benefiting From Them? ***
Different brothers excel in different areas. It is not reasonable to expect that elders will do and say everything in a perfect manner. "We all stumble many times," says the Bible at James 3:2. "If anyone does not stumble in word, this one is a perfect man, able to bridle also his whole body."
6) In addition to human imperfection, family environment plays a role in the misuse of the tongue. Some people were raised in homes where parents were "not open to any agreement.... without self-control, fierce." (2 Timothy 3:1-3) Often, children who grow up in such an environment display similar traits when they become adults. Of course, neither imperfection nor deficient upbringing provides an excuse for harmful speech. Being aware of these factors, though, helps us to understand why restraining the tongue from speaking what is injurious is particularly challenging for some.
Human imperfection…family environment…of course, neither imperfection nor deficient upbringing provides an excuse provides an excuse
These factors…helps us to understand…particularly challenging…for some
Some people…for some
Are they talking only about JWs who grew up in non-JW families?
'Put Away Backbiting'
Q7) What did Peter mean when he admonished Christians to "put away ... all sorts of backbiting"?
7) Regardless of the cause, using hurtful speech in marriage could indicate a lack of love and respect for one's spouse. For good reason, Peter admonished Christians to "put away ... all sorts of backbiting." (1 Peter 2:1) The Greek word translated "backbiting" means "insulting language." It conveys the idea of 'shooting people with words.' How well that describes the effects of an unruly tongue!
Using hurtful speech in marriage COULD indicate a lack of love and respect for one’s spouse
Greek word translated "backbiting"
What word and what is the reference the WTS used? Not the Insight book.
*** it-1 p. 241 Backbiting ***
This is a rendering of the Greek term ka·ta·la·li·a´. The related verb ka·ta·la·le´o literally means "speak against," doing so without justification and usually in a malicious or hostile manner.
Q8, 9) What can result from using insulting speech, and why should marriage mates avoid doing so?
8) Insulting speech may not seem so serious, but consider what happens when a husband or a wife uses such speech. Calling one's mate stupid, lazy, or selfish implies that his or her entire character can be summed up by a label--a demeaning one at that! This is surely cruel. And what about sweeping assertions that highlight a mate's flaws? Are not such statements as "You're always late" or "You never listen to me" really exaggerations? They are bound to elicit a defensive response. That, in turn, may trigger a heated argument. James 3:5.
May not seem so serious
Calling one's mate stupid, lazy, or selfish implies that his or her entire character can be summed up by a label--a demeaning one at that!
Actually I know of occasions where the elders meet with the wife and husband and then later tell the husband privately to disregard the counsel, since it is obviously the wife provoking the "insulting speech."
What about sweeping assertions that highlight a mate’s flaws?
What about Job calling his wife a "senseless woman"?
What about a woman being a "weaker vessel"? Is the Bible talking about all women being limited by their menstrual cycle?
*** w80 5/15 p. 8 Why "Be in Subjection"? ***
Because of her vicissitudes or cyclic emotional nature her husband is required to show patience, kindness, consideration. This is demonstrated when he, time and again, waits for her to get ready or finds himself needing to adjust his wishes or preferences to his wife’s wishes, whims or limitations.
9) Conversation that is laced with insulting speech puts a strain on a marriage, and this too can have dire consequences. Proverbs 25:24 says: "Better is it to dwell upon a corner of a roof than with a contentious wife, although in a house in common." Of course, the same can be said of a contentious husband. Over time, cutting words from either mate will erode a relationship, perhaps causing a husband or a wife to feel unloved, even unlovable. Clearly, it is important to restrain the tongue. But how can this be done?
Of course the same can be said of a contentious husband
Do you think the elders will view that about the one with the authority?
*** w91 5/15 p. 18 par. 8 Be Long-Suffering Toward All ***
On the other hand, a wife may fuss over details and be prone to nag her husband. This may well call to mind the scripture: "Better to live on the roof than share the house with a nagging wife." (Proverbs 25:24, Today’sEnglishVersion) In such a case, long-suffering is required
*** w79 2/15 p. 4 Are You Supportive?—You Can Be! ***
She must guard against a common weakness that many wives have, namely, that of nagging. Not without good reason does King Solomon of old allude to this. (Prov. 21:19; 25:24) Why do some women engage in it despite really loving their husbands? It could well be due to an unconscious rebellion against the husband’s headship—either because of wanting to have more of a say in matters or to remind the husband that he also is not perfect. Then, again, it may be due to exaggeration of the importance of details.
*** w75 5/1 p. 287 Questions From Readers ***
Also, the elders might be able to help both of you to examine yourselves to see where you can improve. Does perhaps your husband’s use of alcohol give rise to the violent abuse? (Prov. 23:29, 30) Is he possibly letting frustrations on his job carry over into the home? Are you, the wife, responsible? Do you nag or provoke him? "A leaking roof . . . and a contentious wife are comparable." (Prov. 27:15; 19:13; 21:9; 25:24) Do you fan the flames during arguments, instead of keeping calm? "Love . . . does not become provoked."
'Bridle the Tongue'
Q10) Why is it important to control the tongue?
10) "The tongue," states James 3:8, "not one of mankind can get it tamed." Nevertheless, just as a rider bridles a horse to control the animal's movements, we should do our best to bridle our tongue. "If any man seems to himself to be a formal worshiper and yet does not bridle his tongue, but goes on deceiving his own heart, this man's form of worship is futile." (James 1:26; 3:2, 3) These words show that how you use your tongue is a serious matter. It affects more than your relationship with your mate; it affects your very relationship with Jehovah God.-1 Peter 3:7.
Seems…to be a formal worshiper…does not bridle his tongue…deceiving…worship futile
Can a person say they love God but not show love to their mate?
(1 John 4:20) If anyone makes the statement: "I love God," and yet is hating his brother, he is a liar. For he who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot be loving God, whom he has not seen.
Relationship with Jehovah God
—where’s Jesus?Do you recognize the 1 Peter 3:7 reference?
Q11) How might it be possible to prevent a disagreement from escalating into a heated argument?
11) You are wise to take note of how you speak to your mate. If a stressful situation develops, try to defuse the tension. Consider a situation that arose in the life of Isaac and his wife, Rebekah, as recorded at Genesis 27:46-28:4. "Rebekah kept saying to Isaac: 'I have come to abhor this life of mine because of the daughters of Heth. If Jacob ever takes a wife from the daughters of Heth like these from the daughters of the land, of what good is life to me?"' There is no indication that Isaac responded harshly. Instead, he sent their son Jacob away to find a God-fearing wife who was not likely to become a source of distress to Rebekah. Suppose that a disagreement arises between a husband and his wife. A subtle shift from "you" to "I" can prevent a minor disagreement from escalating into a heated argument. For example, instead of saying, "You never spend time with me!" why not say, "I wish we could spend more time together"? Focus on the problem, not just the person. Resist the tendency to analyze who is right and who is wrong. "Pursue the things making for peace and the things that are upbuilding to one another," says Romans 14:19.
There is no indication that Isaac responded harshly.
Actually, there is no indication that Isaac taught Esau that it was not good to marry unbelievers or that he discouraged Esau when he started "dating" unbelievers. Couldn’t it be that Rebekah was not going to let Isaac sit by silently and allow Jacob to follow the same path?
Put in first person, "I," rather than second person is a tactic taught by marriage counselors. There is no scripture explaining this.
Focus on the problem not the person.
When JWs have problems, doesn’t the WTS say that the JW is not doing enough spiritually, that is why they are having problems?
Put Away `Malicious Bitterness, Anger, and Wrath'
Q12) To control the tongue, for what should we pray, and why?
12) More is involved in restraining the tongue than watching what we say. After all, our words are a product of the heart rather than of the mouth. Jesus said: "A good man brings forth good out of the good treasure of his heart, but a wicked man brings forth what is wicked out of his wicked treasure; for out of the heart's abundance his mouth speaks." (Luke 6:45) Hence, to control your tongue, you may need to pray as did David: "Create in me even a pure heart, 0 God, and put within me a new spirit, a steadfast one." -Psalm 51:10.
More is involved…than watching what we say…our words are a product of the heart
Actually, actions speak louder than words. Have you ever heard a talk from the platform by an elder or a comment from the audience by a sister about loving the brothers and sisters, who then refuses to talk to you, will not go in the same car group, has never invited you to their home, always turns down your invitations for a meal, and makes sure you are never invited to social gatherings?
I wonder what kind of heart they have?
May need to pray
Is prayer optional?
Q13) How can malicious bitterness, anger, and wrath lead to abusive speech?
13) Paul urged the Ephesians to avoid not only the hurtful words but also the feelings behind them. He wrote: "Let all malicious bitterness and anger and wrath and screaming and abusive speech be taken away from you along with all badness." (Ephesians 4:31) Note that before citing "screaming and abusive speech," Paul mentioned "malicious bitterness and anger and wrath." It is the rage that boils within that threatens to erupt in an outburst of hurtful speech. So ask yourself: 'Do I harbor bitterness and wrath in my heart? Am I "disposed to rage"?' (Proverbs 29:22) If this is true in your case, pray for God's help to overcome these tendencies and to exercise self-control so that you can avoid letting your anger erupt. Psalm 4:4 says: "Be agitated, but do not sin. Have your say in your heart, upon your bed, and keep silent." If tempers threaten to flare and you fear that you will lose self-control, follow the admonition of Proverbs 17:14: "Before the quarrel has burst forth, take your leave." Momentarily step away from the situation until the danger passes.
Avoid..feelings behind them…do I harbor bitterness
Actually, the most contentious and bitter events I have known of have been between elders and elder bodies. Is it no surprise that men (and women) bring those behaviors to their marriages?
Q14) How can resentment affect a marriage?
14) It is not easy to deal with wrath and anger, especially when it stems from what Paul called "malicious bitterness." The Greek word that Paul used has been defined as characterizing a "resentful spirit which refuses reconciliation" and a 'spite that keeps a score of wrongs.' Sometimes hostility hangs like a dense fog between a husband and his wife, and the condition may persist for a long time. Cold disdain may result when a grievance has not been fully resolved. But harboring resentment for past wrongs is futile. What has happened cannot be undone. A wrong that has been forgiven should be forgotten. Love "does not keep account of the injury."-1 Corinthians 13:4, 5.
Greek word—which one? What is the reference? Aristotle?
Hostility hangs like a dense fog…may persist for a long time
I can remember elders talking about JW marriages like this, marriages of elders and MS, yet these men were not removed. Some wives out of frustration finally separated and husbands felt they had permission to try again with either a non-JW or another JW woman (be df’d for a year and then be on the fast track back to being an elder/MS).
Harboring resentment for past wrongs
How long is it before some people are reinstated? Is it because of resentment by the elders or their friends? One year, 5 years, 10 years?
A wrong that has been forgiven should be forgotten.
Are the wrongs of erring JWs forgiven and forgotten or is a file kept for a minimum of five years perhaps even after the death of the person?
Is this advice followed in your congregation:
*** w97 12/1 p. 19 par. 14 ‘Continue Forgiving One Another Freely’ ***
Does forgiving others mean that we must actually forget what happened? Recall Jehovah’s own example in this regard, as discussed in the preceding article. When the Bible says that Jehovah forgets our sins, this does not mean that he is unable to recall them. (Isaiah 43:25) Rather, he forgets in the sense that once he forgives, he does not hold those sins against us at some future time. (Ezekiel 33:14-16) Similarly, forgiving fellow humans does not necessarily mean that we will be unable to recall what they did. However, we can forget in the sense that we do not hold it against the offender or bring it up again in the future. With the matter thus settled, it would not be appropriate to gossip about it; neither would it be loving to avoid the offender completely, treating him as though he were disfellowshipped.
Yet the WTS speaks out of both sides of its mouth…since the above counsel sticks in the craw of abuse survivors.
*** w97 12/1 p. 20 ‘Continue Forgiving One Another Freely’ ***
What about us? InsightontheScriptures says: "Christians are not required to forgive those who practice malicious, willful sin with no repentance. Such become God’s enemies." (Volume 1, page 862) No Christian who has been a victim of extremely unjust, detestable, or heinous treatment should feel forced to forgive, or pardon, a wrongdoer who is not repentant.—Psalm 139:21, 22.
Q15) What will help those accustomed to using harsh words to change their manner of speaking?
15) What if harsh language was common in the family in which you were raised and using it has become your custom? You can make changes in this regard. You have already set limits in a number of areas of life (what areas????) in which you will just not allow yourself to act in a certain way. Where will you choose to set the boundary when it comes to your speech? Will you stop before your words become abusive? You will want to adopt the limit described at Ephesians 4:29: "Let a rotten saying not proceed out of your mouth." This requires that you "strip off the old personality with its practices, and clothe [yourself] with the new personality, which through accurate knowledge is being made new according to the image of the One who created it."-Colossians 3:9, 10.
Harsh language was common in the family (JW families?)
Obviously, many JWs are using this excuse.
Have you heard abusive language at a quick build? I have and nothing happened to the person and no apologies were made.
"Confidential Talk"--A Must
Q16) Why is the silent treatment damaging to a marriage?
16) Little is accomplished--and damage can result--when a husband or a wife resorts to what has been called the silent treatment. This is not always a matter of punishing one's partner, as it may result from frustration or discouragement. Yet, refusing to talk to each other only heightens tension and does little to solve the problem at hand. As one wife put it, "once we do start talking again, we never discuss the problem."
Silent treatment
Has the WTS characterized women as being more likely to do this?
*** w97 11/1 p. 32 Drawing Up "Deep Waters" ***
A husband might say: "My wife just gives me the silent treatment!"
*** w96 5/15 pp. 22-23 "A Time to Keep Quiet and a Time to Speak" ***
Anger or irritation could cause us to give the person who annoys us the silent treatment. This can be very damaging. "During the first year of our marriage, there were occasions when I wouldn’t speak to my husband for several days at a time," confesses María.
*** w94 9/15 p. 4 Why Be Forgiving? ***
One woman, for example, refused to talk to her sister-in-law for over seven years because, as the woman says, "she did me unbelievable dirt and I have never been able to forgive her." But such silent treatment, when used as a lever to pry an apology from the accused or as a weapon with which to punish, rarely satisfies the desire for revenge.
*** w83 6/1 p. 14 par. 13 Keep Your Marriage Honorable ***
Of course, she could have given Abraham the "silent treatment," hoping that he would figure out what was troubling her. But no, Sarah communicated!
*** g79 5/8 p. 10 Battered Wives/Battered Husbands—What Is Behind It? ***
Family counselor Paul Shaner observes that sometimes a battered wife may "be playing power games" by giving her husband "the silent treatment."
Q17) What should be done by Christians experiencing marital stress?
17) When marital tension persists, there is no shortcut. Proverbs 15:22 states: "There is a frustrating of plans where there is no confidential talk, but in the multitude of counselors there is accomplishment." You need to sit down with your spouse and discuss the matter. By all means, listen to your mate with an open mind and heart. If it seems impossible to do so, why not take advantage of the provision of elders in the Christian congregation? They have knowledge of the Scriptures and are experienced in applying Bible principles. Such men are "like a hiding place from the wind and a place of concealment from the rainstorm."-Isaiah 32:2.
[Picture on page 24] Elders provide Bible-based help (Did you notice that the husband is dressed casually, yet she has on a skirt, blouse and pearls?
Confidential talk…take advantage of the provision of the elders…knowledge of the Scriptures…experienced in applying Bible principles
Some of the worst examples are elders who are so busy with congregation busy work, they never have time to listen to their wives. Are elders trained, qualified marriage counselors?
*** g83 7/22 p. 9 How to Give Counsel That Really Helps ***
Would John and Jane have been wise to seek help from such counselors before going to strangers? Well, it has to be recognized that elders are not trained professionals, equipped to understand or treat all kinds of mental health problems. Their field, rather, is with spiritual problems. However, in such things as marriage counseling, the distinction between spiritual, emotional and mental difficulties is not always clear. And the truth is, most professional counselors are not qualified to handle spiritual problems. Hence, qualified Christian elders do have something valuable to contribute.
You Can Win the Battle
Q18) What struggle is described at Romans 7:18-23?
18) Bridling our tongue is a struggle. So is controlling our actions. Describing the challenge that he faced, the apostle Paul wrote: "I know that in me, that is, in my flesh, there dwells nothing good; for ability to wish is present with me, but ability to work out what is fine is not present. For the good that I wish I do not do, but the bad that I do not wish is what I practice. If, now, what I do not wish is what I do, the one working it out is no longer I, but the sin dwelling in me." Because of "sin's law that is in [our] members," we are inclined to misuse our tongue and other parts of the body. (Romans 7:18-23) However, the battle must be fought--and it can be won with God's help.
Struggle…controlling…challenge…battle…fought
With God’s help
One of the biggest problems facing the WTS today is the breakup of JW marriages. No longer can they truly say that only non-JWs face this problem. JWs are discouraged from admitting they have problems because the husband feels he may lose his "privileges," wives feel that they will lose the only status they have in the JW community. So they grin and bear it. As the "end" delays and the instant solution of the "new system" does not come, they wear out, and end the marriage through divorce or separation.
Q19, 20) How can Jesus' example help husbands and wives to bridle their tongue?
19) In a relationship that is characterized by love and respect, there is no room for thoughtless, harsh words. Think of the example that Jesus Christ set in this regard. Jesus never used insulting speech with his disciples. Even on the last night of his life on earth when his apostles were arguing over who among them was the greatest, the Son of God did not scold them. (Luke 22:24-27) "Husbands," admonishes the Bible, "continue loving your wives, just as the Christ also loved the congregation and delivered up himself for it."-Ephesians 5:25.
Jesus never used insulting speech with his disciples
Would Jesus say it?
The Son of God did not scold them
A typical talk at the KH consists of "scolding" telling JWs they have sinned and are not doing enough and the end is near, they might die.
20) What, though, about a wife? She "should have deep respect for her husband." (Ephesians 5:33) Would a wife who respects her husband scream at him, using abusive speech? "I want you to know that the head of every man is the Christ," wrote Paul, "in turn the head of a woman is the man; in turn the head of the Christ is God." (1 Corinthians 11:3) Wives are to be in subjection to their head as the Christ is to his Head. (Colossians 3:18) Although no imperfect human can perfectly imitate Jesus, striving to "follow his steps closely" will help husbands and wives to win the battle against misuse of the tongue.-1 Peter 2:21.
Would a wife who respects her husband scream at him
Is he a husband worthy of respect based on his heart, words and actions?
Remember too that Jesus is in subjection to a perfect individual, women are expected to be in subjection to an imperfect man.
What Did You Learn?
- How can an unruly tongue damage a marriage?
- Why is the tongue difficult to bridle?
- What helps us to control our speech?
- What should you do when experiencing marital stress?
Concluding Comments
I have made comments from the view of the wife or woman. Please contribute the male viewpoint if you would like. I grew up with an abusive father and find it hard to be sympathetic toward the man’s view.
There are many marriage problems amongst JWs. Some are hidden or concealed because it would "stumble" the rank and file. I hate to think of how many seemingly perfect JW marriages I have known of that have fallen apart and fallen by the wayside. Or the frustrated women who get no real help from the elders except to be told to be more submissive, implying that the woman is causing the problems.
Next week, it is office romances, internet chat rooms, having a friend of the opposite sex, "inviting undue attention" by being immodest in your dress and grooming.
We are still enjoying our apples and apple cider. The pumpkins are out on the stoops in the neighborhood. Halloween and Election Day are approaching. Every small town in the area is having a fall festival.
Love, Blondie