I wanted to introduce myself real quick. I was raised as a witness from the age of 10. I am now 23 YO. I was disfellowshipped at the age of 19 for marrying a man who was studying. I had a very bad experience as a witness. I was beaten in the KH by an elder. I was verbally abused on every occasion. I was not allowed to associate with anyone around me because they were bad association and I was considered bad association because I attended a public school. Once I left school, at the bidding of my Witness mother, I was considered bad association because I was living alone and supporting myself. I had a "worldly" employer, which I was told was wrong. This is just a small amount of torture I endured as a Witness. When I met my DH, we were immediately told to have absolutely no contact. Not even to say hello or have our eyes meet at the KH or elsewhere. Yet we were able to contact each other by telephone. Odd I know...but these are odd ppl. Once reinstated (my mother begged me), I had my first child. 2 years ago we moved to another state and I send in my letter, disassociating myself. My mother is now not allowed to have anything to do with me. She does, however, have a relationship with my children. I feel that even though she allows other ppl to control her life, she still should be able to have a relationship with her grandchildren. I am still very much wounded and hurt by the treatment I recieved from my congregation and the elders and I'm still trying to get past it. I don't think I will ever forget or even forgive the things that I have endured at the hands of these ppl. But I would like to be able to eventually work through them and be able to put them in the past where they belong. I know have trouble with any kind of religion. I had taken a kind of religion test online a few months ago and it told me that I was 100% 2 different kinds of Buddhism. Go figure. And only about 16% JW. I try to steer as far away as possible from their beliefs unless something is true according to my own research using other publications than what is published by the WTBTS. I often sit and wonder if there is even really a god out there. I do not believe in evolution. Not because of my JW background but because of the holes in the theories. I feel that religion is just something that some guy thought of eons ago and uses as a means to control ppl, kinda like a man beating his wife, it's a controlling and scare tactic. I do celebrate holidays for family reasons. My children are made aware of the "real" meaning behind them. But they are only 3 and 2 YO.
I sincerely hope that no one here has ever had the experiences that I have had. And I hope that everyone has learned to put their past behind them to an extent. And I hope to do the same soon.