Have you become REALLY interested in people now? (page 2)

Finally-Free

I had many friends and an active social life before I joined the JWs. During the 20 years I was a JW I had virtually no friends or social life. It bothered me - a lot - at first, but I eventually learned to prefer solitude. I got to the point where I would invent excuses to turn down the few invitations I received. After leaving the cult I got together with ex-jws a lot at first, and then fell back into the old habit of being a virtual recluse, leaving my home only when I had to, like to go to work or to buy groceries.

Realizing that my attitude was an unhealthy one, I've been forcing myself to get out more in the past year, and I'm now involved with a local charity. The people I've met are nice and friendly, but I still find myself keeping my distance from them.

So, to answer the question, I haven't become really interested in people, but I'm trying.

W

nicolaou

Yes. That's all I'm going to say because you summed it up just right in your opening post Jeff.

Yes!

Sunspot

I have learned to listen, and to really love others, with no intent on 'selling my wares', religious or otherwise.
Have you found life to be richer in this respect since leaving?

Yes Jeff....very much so. I can listen and learn from others and not cringe inside when a belief contrary to the WTS is mentioned by someone during conversation. I had the tendency to mentality shut off whatever they were saying after that point, and could not respond on a human lvele, but only on a JW level. It made for a very "one-way" conversation back then. NOW I am free to dig into ALL conversations without that mental blockade we were trained to erect on a moment's notice!

hugs,

Annie

juni

Jeff said:

I have learned to listen, and to really love others, with no intent on 'selling my wares', religious or otherwise.

I have also Jeff. It's a good feeling.

Juni

AK - Jeff

Just this day;

Had coffee with a spiritually minded [but not Christian, and certainly not Jw] real estate agent.

Sparred kindly with a coffee shop owner who is agnostic I think.

Exchanged email addresses with a kind woman who wants to know more about my experience as a Jw. [And boy will I let her know.]

Took my granddaughter to a 'Christian' preschool, where they will likely begin to make T-giving and X-mas cards this week.

Read the damn paper for what it says instead of looking for a 'sign' that the GT is about to start.

Spoke to a few nice people as I shopped.

I just love being able to develop real interest in people 'living without the benefit of marriage', 'with non-biblical views', 'persons with alternate lifestyles', 'those associated with Babylon the Great', 'athiest or agnostics', 'Hindus, moslems, and janes'.

Jeff

Sunspot

I have learned to listen, and to really love others, with no intent on 'selling my wares', religious or otherwise.
Have you found life to be richer in this respect since leaving?

Yes Jeff....very much so. I can listen and learn from others and not cringe inside when a belief contrary to the WTS is mentioned by someone during conversation. I had the tendency to mentality shut off whatever they were saying after that point, and could not respond on a human lvele, but only on a JW level. It made for a very "one-way" conversation back then. NOW I am free to dig into ALL conversations without that mental blockade we were trained to erect on a moment's notice!

hugs,

Annie

BabaYaga

Great points, Jeff, I don't think I ever thought of that before.

How the heck can you really listen to anyone if you are not supposed to hear what they say, it is all "of the world"? How can you allow yourself to get attached to anyone, believing they will be destroyed, and it's "just around the corner"? The only chance you have of ever being "friends" with them (term used loosely, as we know that Witness friendships with each other are completely conditional) is to "bring them into the TEEruth".

Amazing.

Yes, it's WONDERFUL to relax and actually listen and enjoy what someone has to say.

It's also a MAGNIFICENT thing to READ ANYTHING I WANT and ENJOY it. I don't think JWs are EVER allowed to relax. It is ALWAYS all about the service.

TheHypnoToad

Its been a slow hard thing for me to do is actually have a conversation with anyone. I have been trained from infancy to think everyone is bad and was going to die if they went a JW. Its been dificult for me to actually do anything with others, I always rush home to my wife and kids and almost always excuse myself from doing anything with others still. BUT, I am trying to change. Hopfully I can soon enjoy conversations without that thing in my head saying this is a bad person.

purplesofa

Yes, I became compassionate again and it feels wonderful.

purps

insearchoftruth

As my wife has slowly drifted away from her wt family, she has also become more compassionate, it is a very slow but wonderful transformation.

Have you become REALLY interested in people now?

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