Memorial Experiences from Hell

by Black Man 26 Replies latest jw friends

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    : I don't think that black people have cornered the market in awful taste - I've seen some nasty-assed white women in bright/neon spandex before

    When it comes to the worst Gawd-awful hats in the entire Universe, Carman Miranda is the creme-de-la-creme. Therefore, she was definitely anointed! And if she got hungry during the memorial she could just take a nice, ripe pineapple from her hat for a snack!

    Farkel

    "When in doubt, duck!"

  • AmazingProgeny
    AmazingProgeny

    I remember one Memorial where this older lady (a visitor, not JW) took the bread and the wine. When she had the wine she left lipstick all over the cup and crumbs in it. My mom's best friend was annointed and was sitting a few seats away from the old lady. The people between them kept turning the cup a little hoping that my mom's friend wouldn't have to drink from the same side. It was totally funny at the time.

    I like the way my church handles it. Each person dips the bread into the grape juice and eats it quietly. Everyone, including the children, participates. After the service the kids can be found in the kitchen dipping the rest of the bread into the juice and having a grand old time.

    AmazingProgeny

  • LDH
    LDH

    Naw, if she was wearing a green dress and a yellow hat, she wasn't black. Black women KNOW how to match hats with outfits, NYC.

    She was Polish.

    Lisa

  • Black Man
    Black Man

    Billygoat asked:
    "What were the reactions of the others watching?"

    Kinda dumbstruck "shake-your-head-while-pursing-your-lips" amazement like "I can't believe this woman is up here slurpin' Christ's blood from a got-damn straw".

    Amazing Progeny said:

    " I remember one Memorial where this older lady (a visitor, not JW) took the bread and the wine. When she had the wine she left lipstick all over the cup and crumbs in it. My mom's best friend was annointed and was sitting a few seats away from the old lady. The people between them kept turning the cup a little hoping that my mom's friend wouldn't have to drink from the same side. It was totally funny at the time."

    Yeah...that happened another time in my congo once or twice. Although it involved that interested yet highly mentally unstable bible study being brought to their first memorial. Totally hilarious
    at the time.

    Farkel said:

    "When it comes to the worst Gawd-awful hats in the entire Universe, Carman Miranda is the creme-de-la-creme. Therefore, she was definitely anointed! And if she got hungry during the memorial she could just take a nice, ripe pineapple from her hat for a snack!"

    LOL! Word......who knew....huh? Hilarious.....

  • teejay
    teejay

    Funny as hell, Black Man.

    You know, my wife asks for a straw whenever we go out to eat. The lipstick, you know. Is that the same thing?

    Slurping out of a goddamm straw, huh? What was she afraid of... catching a disease and dying? A freakin' straw? Mother duck...

    Hate to say this... don't throw anything at me y'all... but I'm with nytel. I'd bet twenty bucks the sister was black. Everybody knows white women don't wear hats... or get to 350lbs.

    holla

  • Tatiana
    Tatiana

    OMG, this is too damn funny! But, guys, come on. You have to know why she used a straw!!!!! I don't think she was worried at all about lipstick or germs.

    Everyone knows if you drink with a straw, you get high twice as fast!

    April

    "Love never dies." Voivodul Vlad Draculea (from Bram Stoker's Dracula-1992)

  • COMF
    COMF

    The significance of the group being able to hear the slurping through the straw, is that she was hitting bottom. She drank it all.

    She passed up the bread and drank all the wine. Sounds like she wasn't all that mental, after all.

    COMF

    P.S. feels that the friends should treat her with special reverence "since she's one of Christ's brothers"

    Why does that have such a familiar ring to it?

  • Black Man
    Black Man

    Tatiana said:

    "OMG, this is too damn funny! But, guys, come on. You have to know why she used a straw!!!!! I don't think she was worried at all about lipstick or germs. Everyone knows if you drink with a straw, you get high twice as fast![:"

    haha......you just never know. Maybe I didn't give her enough credit....

  • Tina
    Tina

    Hi Black Man,
    ahhh memorial easter Bonnet time lol. And that's what they were. Sisters with these weird contraptions perched(dangerously) on their heads lol. We had a couple of sisters that actually came year after year in bridesmaids gowns.......veiling and lace all over the place.
    They'd dress their kids in those miniature tuxedos...nope,they weren't gonna let the worldy easter outfits outdo them!!!! shakin head here at the memories,,,,regards,tina

    Carl Sagan on balancing openness to new ideas with skeptical scrutiny..."if you are open to the point of gullibility and have not an ounce of skeptical sense-you cannot distinguish useful ideas from worthless ones."

  • kes152
    kes152

    "Many will come on the basis of my name saying 'I am anointed' and will MISLEAD MANY."

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