The Love Starved

purplesofa

When I first got on the internet, 8/9 years ago, the only people I came in contact with were JW's. I had just been reinstated, after being DF for 9 years. My first observation was how lonely the chatters were. A whole diversified group of people, yes, all JW's, but from all over the world with different backgrounds, races, male, female, young, old, married, single.

I would think to myself, My god, how sad this is. People not wicked or searching out to do wrong, people that want companionship, friends, lovers, desperately seeking for it with total strangers.

We kept on chatting, against the advice of the Society, rebels, non-conformists, enjoying this new format of communication, and Connection.

So many did quit coming online and I wonder what ever happened to them.

And also, I always wondered if anyone(the society) really listened or noticed why so many were turning to the internet, so NEEDY and love starved.

I found no mention of any kind of replacement or solution as how to solve any of this from the meetings. Only how BAD the internet was. So on top of being lonely, and finding a solution to that..........now it was bad and evil.

I thought this morning of a teenager in a congregation, only supposed to associate with the members. There are no other teens her/his age. So must they grow up not ever having association with their peers. The single people, never getting to have much of a chance to meet any more of, lets say, the same 100 people in a congo. Older ones with no one in the truth but them, they grow to dislike thier worldy relatives, while being wound up every day in the banal, repetitive existance. The sacrifices made, the sheer will to survive, how starved for love.

Yes, there is much to say about the doctrone and the wishy washy ways of the Organization. And we talk about there not being love among those in the congos. The society breeds this.

And for today, I just want to say, I hope everyone gets the love in life they deserve, including myself, and never quit searching or desiring, to share a laugh, smile, hug, tears, ideas, LOVE.

purps

Woofer

I've found the love that I deserve with my husband. It's sooo nice to be with someone who just loves me for who I am. I am free to speak my mind and form my own opinions.

lowden

I thought this morning of a teenager in a congregation, only supposed to associate with the members. There are no other teens her/his age. So must they grow up not ever having association with their peers.

I've seen this scenario plenty of times, especially in the smaller cong's. It's twisted emotional depravation. So many JW kids end up stunted as adults.

I saw the Witnesses out on the ministry yesterday morning whilst i was in a neighbouring town 10 miles away. I felt decidedly uneasy as they neared me and then one young man greeted me by my first name.

I vaguely recognised him and smiled at him. Nice of him but he must not have known i was DFed.

Pretty little girls with pretty flowery bags looking eagerly at their mummys for what to do next, it almost made me cry.

I feel sooooo sorry for the kids, it really upsets me.

Nice thread Purps.

Peace

Lowden

LovesDubs

Well after 52 years of looking for that person to "complete me"...I have finally figured out I need to complete MYSELF and love MYSELF and then any love I get after that from others is gravy. But I wont live my life waiting for confirmation that Im "lovable" from other people. I am and thats that. Screw em if they cant take a joke :)

You sound kinda down purps....Im sending a big ol hug your way.

loves

daystar

purplesofa

What beautiful sentiments... You're right. If the Witnesses really had the sort of love they so talk about, would the religion look the way it does? I think not.

lovesdubs

Well after 52 years of looking for that person to "complete me"...I have finally figured out I need to complete MYSELF and love MYSELF and then any love I get after that from others is gravy. But I wont live my life waiting for confirmation that Im "lovable" from other people. I am and thats that. Screw em if they cant take a joke :)

Makes perfect sense now, doesn't it? I didn't come to that realization, in my heart, very easily either.

troubled mind

I worry about one of my son's that is still a JW . He is only 22 , lives in a small rural town and travels 45 minutes to help a Sign Language congregation. He moved there two years ago and still has no real friends . Because he lives so far from the hall no one comes to visit him . I am afraid this is not a healthy existance for him . I try to encourage him to make friends with those he works with , but I don't think he will encourage any female 's that are not witnesses . When he lived at home he was engaged to a JW that broke his heart and dumped him . He moved away for a fresh start ,but the lonely existance of a JW has got to be exasperating . It makes me sad :( .

purplesofa

He moved away for a fresh start ,but the lonely existance of a JW has got to be exasperating .

Yes, so many only get an occassional hi before and after a meeting......they don't get invited to lunch after the sunday meetings, or get togethers. Remain loyal, believing it is the right thing to do......everyone is bad and worldly outside the org. Never getting to explore themselves or others........denied life in essence.

But they continue to be loyal and stay away from people they work with, live with, and meet on a normal day to day basis. Staying "clean" all the while dieing inside or already dead.

I found this part of being a JW the hardest and the cruelest part. No amount of sacrificing, seclusion, lonliness........could ever be a good trade off for paradise so far away.

Live now, we now that is real.

purps

Warlock

You know, I like to clown around on JWD, shooting off one liners, or just being my old stupid, obnoxious, self. I want people to read my posts and have a laugh, hopefully a hearty one.

Sometimes, people start threads that remind me of how painful it is/was to be a J.W., and I didn't even grow up in it. I joined up.

My daughter made friends with some young ones in the congregation, only to have them taken away by a group of gossipy, backstabbing, lying young sisters that were also fleshly sisters.

There were also some other issues of associating with members of the opposite sex that came up and she pretty much ended up friendless. So guess where she ended up making friends? That's right, THE WORLD. THE NASTY OLD WORLD. You know, the place where you will probably find REAL friends.............and she did.

After all the b.s. that she went through, it's as if nothing ever happened. Those involved continue as if nothing happened.

Sometimes I kind of get caught up in things and forget, but when people start threads like this, I start remembering again.

That's what brings me back to reality.

Thank you so much, Purps.

Warlock

AK - Jeff

I thought this morning of a teenager in a congregation, only supposed to associate with the members. There are no other teens her/his age. So must they grow up not ever having association with their peers. The single people, never getting to have much of a chance to meet any more of, lets say, the same 100 people in a congo. Older ones with no one in the truth but them, they grow to dislike thier worldy relatives, while being wound up every day in the banal, repetitive existance. The sacrifices made, the sheer will to survive, how starved for love.

I have thought of that often, Purp.

Add to that the dimension of that teenage who is disfellowshipped. Now, the loneliness increases exponentially doesn't it? Now that teenager is not only forbidden to associate with the 'world', but also if ever desiring a 'return to favor' with God, must not associate or show any propensity to associate with members within the organization either. And how could a teenage do that with success.? Humans are social by nature. Teenagers are gregariously social by nature. It becomes a catch 22 with no way out for them. They are literally damned if the do, and damned if they don't.

This was the situation that my daughter was in while disfellowshipped. I sadly played a role in it, as a believing father who insisted that this impossible scenario be fulfilled. What kind of hell these kids must feel. They need to associate with others, because that is what God made them to do. They need to refrain from association [and by extension, love] because they are told that is what God wants them to do.

How Orwelian is the whole scene? Adults and children alike robotically attempting to fall in line with shifting sands of human thinking, while being told it is 'Truth'.

Jeff

BabaYaga

Beautifully said, and internet *hugs* to you, Purps.

Baba

The Love Starved

Share this