How do you deal with your anger/hurt now?

hambeak

Since most of us here on this forum are ex jw or soon to be, most have an experience of hurt or anger at being shunned or lied to myself included. How do you deal with it? Are you over it or do you feel your life has changed for the better or worse because of your experiences with the wts?

carla

Never being a jw only married to one, I get angry too. When I read of another family or marriage broken apart, a family impacted by the shunning, another suicide or any of the many stories related here and elsewhere. I can't change the wt but what I can do is try and make sure nobody else gets sucked in. If a story touches me in a way and I feel the need to to something tangible I go and deliver anti jw literature. I'm not out there everyday just when the mood strikes me. And every public restroom gets one too, that's a given. Maybe not much but it's something to do with the disgust of the wt I have. And yes, I feel a little better afterwards. Might sound silly to some but it works for me.

mariposa

Truthfully I don't think I've completely dealt with it yet. I still get angry at wasting time out of my life I could've used much more wisely.

Someone told me a while ago, they don't think about their time in as a bad thing because it helped them get to the place they are now in life. And they are very content and happy. I am soooo not there yet.

I log on here most everyday, reading what others are going through and seeing new ones leaving helps quite a bit. Someday I hope to meet some of you guys in person.

cyberdyne systems 101

I try to take a day at a time really - this week i dont feel i'm doing so good with it. Making friends helps. Of course i'm glad I know the truth and could never go back, but I dont seem to fit in anywhere right now.

CS 101

Sad emo

I've never been a jw but was shunned by one of my sisters when I left the RC church. I made a point of NOT letting her see how angry or hurt I was. Instead, I made efforts to keep talking to her, and eventually she realised she couldn't keep ignoring me! We now are 'ok' (not brilliant but good enough).

When it did get to me, strangely the fact that she wouldn't talk to me actually provided me with an escape - I was able to retreat when I was angry or upset at her treatment.

And when I'm angry or upset now, I don't bottle it up and stew about things. The best release for me is to write my anger down - whatever I'd like to say to someone, or how I feel, it goes onto paper and out of my head.

I know a lot here don't believe the Bible any more but that part about not letting the sun go down on your anger is very wise counsel! If you stay angry, the only person you hurt is you.

Frannie Banannie

I think that I'm past the anger and hostility that drove me when I first learned how I'd been deceived by the WTS. As a matter of fact, I feel fairly ambivalent as far as anything between the WTS and myself in the past.

I think that I've come to realize that I can't be fooled by them any longer, nor anything else of similar or parallel content, so they don't have a "hold" on me any longer.

I don't feel the fear that I used to feel when seeing people that I recognize used to attend the KH's that I attended. It doesn't bother me whether they recognize me or not. If not, I just ignore them. If I'm forced into a situation (business-wise) that I must speak with someone that I recognize who's supposed to shun me, I just play it by ear and don't force any "issues."

Where other jdubyas' circumstances are concerned, is a different, though not necessarily hostility-inducing, matter.

Frannie

SPAZnik

I accept it as a normal human emotion that is there for a reason. I aim to channel it into productive avenues. I take action.

jaguarbass

Since most of us here on this forum are ex jw or soon to be, most have an experience of hurt or anger at being shunned or lied to myself included. How do you deal with it? Are you over it or do you feel your life has changed for the better or worse because of your experiences with the wts? Well, my life hasn't been that spectacular so it would be nice to blame that on the witnesses but most peoples lifes aren't that spectacular. I was raised a witness that probably kept me from being a pot head but it also kept me from getting an education, so thats a wash there. I could have done better and I could have done worse. I dont think I will ever be over the anger of having been bamboozled by the witnesses, some days are better than others.

Big Tex

I found it cathartic to say what happened over and over and over. Debriefing is part of healing. It helped reading others' experiences and hearing them comment on mine.

Chris

wannaexit

When I found out what this organization was really about and how I sacrificed half of my life for them, I was very angry and bitter. It took a few years for the anger to subside.

This year I found that I have come to terms with my watchtower experience. I am finally doing something that I should have done 25 years ago. I've gone back to school. This is keeping me so busy that I don't have room for the org any more.

Healing is really a process. It doesn't happen overnight. Anger and hurt feelings are part of the process.

My advice to you is to keep busy doing other things and cultivate friendships away from the borg.

wanna

How do you deal with your anger/hurt now?

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