Should I ask my......

kerj2leev

ex for child support? Its not that I can't support him with what I make, but I feel that it is her obligation to help. I know she is struggling right now, so I have reserved the rights for child support. I guess from a man perspective it feels funny to ask!

Crumpet

That's tricky and it sounds like you are being very compassionate and sensitive towards your ex's financial position. Given I don;t know the full circumstances nor how amicable your relationship is with your ex - if you can it would be right to discuss with her. From the child's point of view won't it be that in he future they would want to know both parents gave al they could financially and emotionally etc to support them... She may want to contribute something even if its only a token amount for now while she can't afford much to demonstrate that she wanted and cared enough to help provide for your child.

katiekitten

Any principal carer is entitled to child support. Its part of being a parent that you contribute to the upkeep of the person you helped to bring into the world.

In the UK the issue of affordability is taken care of by the legislation, and a percentage of a persons disposable income is taken as child care. I presume it would be the same where you are, so if the mum is struggling only a small amount would be taken.

I think you are entitled to it. She helped create the child. A child is for life, not just for christmas!

Fe2O3Girl

If a woman was a single parent who could manage without financial help from her child's father, I wouldn't think it unreasonable for the father to make a contribution. So why should it be any different because the genders are reversed?

Why is she struggling financially? Is it temporary or long-term? How will she react to being asked? How much are you expecting?

All factors to consider.

blondie

The child support division here takes into consideration the non-custodial parent's ability to pay. I would have something official set up in case her financial situation changes. (Oh I see you have done that). In today's world, many, many families depend on both the wife's and the husband's income. When marriages break up, even more income is required since there are now 2 households. But too, I think there are other family obligations towards children that transcend money. Hopefully, your children are still getting all that from both of you.

Blondie

kerj2leev

Thanks for your advise.

Fe203Girl

She became a realtor a few years before she left, the housing market is very slow, so she isn't doing all that well. So this may be temporary, but from what I know, that profession isn't always a source of stable income. Her reaction would be probably laughter since she doesn't ever have money. I'm not looking for much just something would be nice, I would put it into a college fund for him.

katiekitten

Its not about the money, its about the principle.

If she bought a car shes expected to pay for it. If she buys a washing machine shes expected to meet the power bills required to run it. She cant whack a kid out and then think she can financially walk away from a whole human being just because shes a bit hard up.

purplesofa

yes

If she never pays, you will have documentation .........you will never know how your circumstances may change.

If you don't feel the need for it, set it up for your child to get it when they turn 18, 21 or whenever.

If I remember correctly, she more or less abandoned the child. CYA

I will send you a pm when i get home tonight.........

Went through years of child support issues. Made tons of mistakes.

purps

kerj2leev

KK

You just hit the nail on the head! You have describe my ex to a tee, I call it the cut and run syndrome. Which blows me away, because she was a wonderful mother, wife.....don't know what happened!??

Nowman

Dear Kerj,

Ok, I know this subject very well. I have joint custody with my ex. I pay support per month (as you know I am the woman). Its OK. My childrens ex is a good father, he lives 3 blocks from me and we do everything for our children. I always feel I have to justify my position when people ask about why I am in this position. 7 years ago I was very nieve, I did not know my rights, and I did not accept help that was offered so I wound up putting myself in this position. But, I made it work. My point is, you could get support however it may be. If you cannot agree on something mutally, you could get a lawyer, and set up a contract that states you ex must pay a certain amount for your sons college fund per month, it can be taylored. Technically, you could take her to court for 28% of her salary, but it seems by what you stated, it would not be much. She too is responsible for your son, she should do what she has to do to support him. Yes, the housing market is slow, find another job then to make up for it. There are absolutely no excuses when it comes to children, you have to do what you have to do, don't let her get off easy. Shes an adult and she has to be accountable for her son too.

See, I am in her position, except I pay, and I make sure my children are taken care of. I have my children 1/2 the time. They each have 2 homes (how we like to call it). They are growing up just fine, and I do everything in my power to make sure that my kids know that just because they came from a divorced home, they know that mom and dad love them. When they look back when they are older, I hope they feel this way about me, this is what I hope for.

Nikki

Should I ask my......

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