IS/ WAS YOUR CONGREGATION LIKE MY CURRENT ONE?

enlightenedcynic

In the congregation I currently attend with my die-hard witness wife and my two kids, the p.o. is a lame duck elder whom no one really respects or goes to for any counsel, advice, etc. Another elder(lives at Bethel) has taken to flirting with a local sister who is seperated but not divorced from her husband. He and the sister think that no one is aware of their actions, but it is secretly the talk of the congregation. Another elder recently relocated to a new hall because a scandal broke involving him and a single sister and their possibly engaging in inappropriate behavior, because this elder was routinely seen leaving this sister's home by himself. The r&f dubs are depressed over their plight, and the "spiritual condition" of the congregation. Many feel overwhelmed by the uncertainty of life in this system and it is obvious to me that many are starting to wonder whether "the end" is ever going to come. I have personally heard comments like, "When is this thing going to end?" and "I don't know how much longer I can hold on".

The youth of the kh are out of control....I can count about 5 to 7 youths who are on reproof or that have been disfellowshipped. Others that are not baptized are rebelling against their parents, hanging out late, taking "worldly" boyfriends and girlfriends, and experimenting with drugs.

This is not shocking at all to me....it is actually the natural progression of things in an organization that prides itself on having the "truth" but that has left its followers ill equiped to handle basic challenges and decision making in life. My wife on the other hand is shocked and afraid. She says that this congregation is the exception, not the norm...but I know that is not the case!!! Please, just for my own sanity, tell me a little about where you attend now or once attended. What was the overall atmosphere in the hall? What sort of wrongdoing did you know was taking place? Not that I will present any of this info to my wife, but I will be able to say with a certainty that this is not some isolated problem going on here.

Thanks,

ec

XJW4EVR

I can't comment about the situation with the elders in the Halls I grew up in but your description of the teens:

The youth of the kh are out of control....I can count about 5 to 7 youths who are on reproof or that have been disfellowshipped. Others that are not baptized are rebelling against their parents, hanging out late, taking "worldly" boyfriends and girlfriends, and experimenting with drugs.

Is exactly like the Halls I attended when I was a teen. The more things change, the more they remain the same.

truthsetsonefree

Similar things are happening in mine. The friends are worn out, more JC cases coming up. Now some are involving elders families. And a few have expressed frustration with how long this is taking.

bikerchic

The hall I previously attended was disbanded about 5 years ago. It was a very corrupt congregation from the Elders on down. I'm sure the R&F's attitude became that of what's good for the goose is good for the gander and things got really bad. I was no longer attending but from what I heard through the grapevine it got bad!

How bad does it have to get before it's disbanded? LOL

Honesty

Your congregation is the Norm. Half the teenagers in my last KH were involved with each other if you know what I mean. 2 were DF'd, 1 was publically reproved and 1 was privately reproved (elder's daughter). A married elder became very friendly with a married sister. At my first KH, it was even worse.

Juniper123

Another voice chiming in on JW teens rebelling, I was too much of a scaredy cat goody two shoes to act out or to tell. But the other kids wore short skirts and baggy pants to school, a few got pregnant, I don't remember any DFs. But I was shocked years later when I talked to my dad and found out how many of the kids I knew in the congregation were no longer in it, either by leaving or getting DF, and how so many had gotten messed up in drugs or allready had their second child. I always wished we had a youth group like other churches, and my dad agrees with me on that. It wouldn't have stopped all the cases but having a safety valve were you can go to the movies, or go on picnics or trips and not have every waking moment devoted to "why aren't you in service?" lets your religion breathe and not suffocate you. My dad told me he had gotten into arguments with his father over this, and my grandfather who was a circut overseer said that they recieved fellowship in service. Yes chatting over apple pies at Mickey D's is nice, but there has to be times when't your not in a frumpy floral print dress, and white payless shoe sandals. As for the grownups, I can't remember too many bad elders but their wives or older sisters were the original nest of vipers. I just remember being very glad to leave meetings.

lovelylil

It sounds like the norm for most khs. The WT loves to say how clean they are, how loving, how perfect, etc. but they seem to have more immoral acts going on in them than in any of the other churches I attended as a child and young adult. I think its just like having too controlling parents - it makes the children rebel even more. Whereas in most other churches they are more balanced in thier "rules", they really don't have as many of these issues. Lilly

crazyblondeb

Yes, that was the "norm"!! Even 20 years ago it was like that. An elder had an affair with a teenage girl. With his wife's blessing, I might add. All of "us" teenagers were alwalys getting in trouble. I know I was the "one" who made the elders work for their titles!! I finally ran away from home. Out of the 12-14 teenagers, I think only 2-3 are still "in".

enlightenedcynic

Thanks everyone for the responses! As I stated at the start of this thread, I KNOW that this problem is worldwide and affecting many, many congregations. It is just comforting to know that I am not alone in seeing things as they really are, especially when I share my home with a wife who continues to see the wts thru rose-colored glasses.

ec

XJW4EVR

Juniper,

I would agree with your (and your father's) assesment of a youth group. I think it would have gone a long way towards eliminating a lot of the problems I and others were involved in. Unfortunately, knowing the Borg and the BOE, they would put the least qualified, and most unrelatably person over the group. It's pretty sad, but it's true. I can't think of one elder, from the Halls I attended that would be willing to teach the teens, unless, there are ulterior motives, and most of know what those would be.

Secondly, with the fear of JCs, I would never be able to fully trust an Elder or MS, with any problem I might be experiencing. The motivating factor in the WTS is threats. Threats of shepherding calls, JCs, private & public reproof, disfellwoshipping & shunning. When you can't trust someone to take your secret "to the grave," then you just sink deeper. That's what happened to me. I knew that my parent's first loyalty was to the Borg, and that anything I told my mom, would be told to my dad, and I would be infront of a JC within the week. In fact, it happened twice. All this happened because I didn't feel like I could talk to anyone. I couldn't talk to a J-Dub, because it would either be spread all over the Hall, or to the Elders, and that would mean a shepherding call, or at worse a JC. I wouldn't tlak to a school counselor or teacher, because the knowledge they had was "worldly" and unworthy of Jehovah's people. You just go deeper and deeper into the hole you have dug for yourself.

Unfortunately, the attitude towards the youth won't ever change. They will be nothing more than objects to be tolerated, and not cared for. They will continue to leave or fade in droves, and the Society won't get it because the leadership doesn't have kids.

IS/ WAS YOUR CONGREGATION LIKE MY CURRENT ONE?

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