SCARY(actually hilarious) JW Urban Legends (smurf content)

jeremiah

Does anyone have any Dub urban legend stories?

I remember a story running rampant when I was in my pre-teenage years that went a little something like this:

Word on the street was that a young child went to the circuit assembly with his parents. The child brought a little stuffed toy with him. However, this wasn't just any cute cuddly stuffed toy. This was one of those little blue demons that worldy people call Smurfs. Anyways, the stuffed little Smurf, got up in the middle of the assembly and walked out the door. Apparently the demon inside the stuffed toy could no longer take the "light" and "truth" inside the assembly hall and had to get out with the quickness.

james_woods

I think that little "cute" Energizer Battery Bunny was demonized in the same way...and I never have trusted that big purple dinosaur either.

(PS - way back when I was an elder, and known as someone who could "be approached with embarassing things", I got asked about this very story. The dear sister wanted to know "if this could possibly be for real". I told her not unless the thing had fully charged flashlight batteries inside it.) This was the first time I had heard the Smurf story. It may very well be the king of all JW urban legends.

For sure.

XU

When I was little, I heard a lot about the smurfs. One story was when a babysitter brought smurfs over for a little witness kid to play with and when the parents came home, the smurfs were dancing on the bed and there was a newspaper levitating. So scary!!! I remember being on a RV or study and the TV show Smurfs was on and normally I watched TV at other people's houses because we didn't have one, but I remember trying to not look at the screen because satan's minions were on prime-time cartoon morning! Such a test of faith.

kittyeatzjdubs

Word on the street was that a young child went to the circuit assembly with his parents. The child brought a little stuffed toy with him. However, this wasn't just any cute cuddly stuffed toy. This was one of those little blue demons that worldy people call Smurfs. Anyways, the stuffed little Smurf, got up in the middle of the assembly and walked out the door. Apparently the demon inside the stuffed toy could no longer take the "light" and "truth" inside the assembly hall and had to get out with the quickness.

Hmmmm....the version I heard was that it took place at a kingdom hall and it was a teenage girl w/ a smurf in her purse. The smurf walked out of the purse during the opening song, and went down the aisle and out the door, yelling the whole time, ''I can't take this $hit!''

I wonder who started that damn story.

~luv, jojo

james_woods

Kitty and others have an important point - there have been just about a thousand versions of this Smurf thing.

I wonder if some of us who were there in the mid-to-late 70s or early 80s could fix the exact date of when this little gem first came to light?

James

PS - isn't it kind of sad that the JWs claim to have the whole truth of the universe, and yet the R&F are so easily deluded by this kind of crap?

enlightenedcynic

How about this one....

A sister(working by herself for some reason), knocks on the door of a killer or rapist to offer the good news. She makes her presentation and talks for some time with the man, gives him some literature and leaves. As she is leaving, a patrol car passes by the house and recognizes the man as a suspect they have been looking for. The officers jump out and arrest the man on the spot. As they are on their way to the precinct, one officer asks the man why he didn't attack the woman who was talking to him.. The man's reply........? "How could I when she had those two large men standing there with here!"

MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

ec

enlightenedcynic

Kitty,

Seems like the smurf was the only one with enough common sense to get up and walk out of the hall.

ec

jeremiah

"The smurf walked out of the purse during the opening song, and went down the aisle and out the door, yelling the whole time, ''I can't take this $hit!''"

HA! That's awesome. I like that one a lot better. Just the fact that the Smurf says $hit.

Another one I heard back in the day, went something like this:

A sister was out in the field ministry and approached a door by herself. Unbeknownst to the sister, she was knocking on a serial killers door. The serial killer had killed anyone and everyone who had ever came to his door. The sister witnesssed to the killer and left unharmed. Soon thereafter, the killer was caught and questioned by authorities. They asked him why he didn't kill the JW who came to his door alone. He said that the woman wasn't alone, but had two large men standing on both sides of her.

lovelylil

This past summer, hubby and I were driving around to yard sales. At one we stopped at - they had a smurf for sale. both of us at the same time burst out laughing because it reminded us of the JW urban legends about them. Anyway, the homeowner (a Christian we found out later) asked us what was so funny so we told her the whole story of having been witnesses and being scared of smurfs.

She told us that she new a Mormon girl and that too were afraid of smurfs. Imagine that! Anyway, she gave us the smurf for nothing as a reminder of how far we have come from the ridiculous WT teachings. I thought that was a nice gesture. Lilly

james_woods

OK - so here is what I found about the original...from the all-knowing internet itself...

In the early 1980s, Hanna-Barbera produced a traditional animated cartoon series based on "The Smurfs". After seeing his daughter happily playing with a smurf doll, Fred Silverman, then president of NBC, bought the rights to the cartoon series. Airing for the first time on NBC on 12 September 1981, the smurf cartoon series dominated Saturday mornings for nearly a decade, it became an international hit and the cartoon shows are still being broadcast in many areas of the world today.

I think it must have been about late 1981 or so when this got told to me first by the witness lady. It may even have been during the year or two when I just quit going to meetings but before they got around to reading me the DF act.

Inadvertantly, I think that our circuit overseer of the time may have fueled the fire - he actually pointed out publicly that the "Smurfs" were unholy because they had a wizard who could make magic spells. (We were not supposed to eat the cereals "lucky charms" or "count chocula" either...)

Hard to believe now, I guess you just had to be there at the time...

SCARY(actually hilarious) JW Urban Legends (smurf content)

Share this