It happened..... (page 2)

bebu

The advice from sons and daughters who joined the WTS and later left is so helpful!! I hope others will post to explain what helped them soften, what didn't.

And WELCOME to the board, lavender. I also have not been a JW, but have a friend who has been in for nearly 50 years. When she has her birthday, she always gets a fancy gift and card from me--she can barely disguise her joy. (We even sang Happy Birthday to her this last time--what could she do?? She said "thanks"!) Anniversaries of blessed events are not inherently evil.

bebu

katiekitten

Welcome to the board Lavendar. I suggest you stick around and read up about it as much as you can. Knowledge is power.

Also you as your son is not baptised yet you still stand a chance of talking to him and getting him to read things that a baptised JW would not touch.

Beware tho, his wife may well be telling him that satan will use you to turn him away from the truth. So if you say anything critical it will fulfill what he is expecting.

Its a tricky one. I would discuss 1975 with him, and the UN issue, and also the issue of covering up for paedophiles (see the silent lambs website). Good luck.

fullofdoubtnow

Hi lavendar, and welcome to the board.

I can understand why you are so concerned about your son, but you need to tread carefully, as he will most likely have been told to expect opposition from you. I think a good way of exposing the watchtowers flawed beliefs is the Quotes site, which contains wts publications, so there's no need for a jw to be scared of reading it. It's on this link, and be sure to show him the flip flops.

http://www.quotes-watchtower.co.uk/home.html

Good luck!

Linda

love2Bworldly

I wish you much luck. Explain to him what will happen if he changes his mind one day about wanting to be involved with the Witnesses, and how his own children would shun him.

LovesDubs

Stick with him. Dont get angry. Dont get depressed. Sure you will miss him but there isnt anything you can do about this process until he himself decides its all bullshi*t. Continue to send him gifts and cards. Continue to invite him to ALL family functions. Continue to include him even if he continually refuses or turns down all of the above. If he says to "respect his wishes" tell him yours too need to be respected, and the JW rules dont apply to you and you will continue to live your life and love him and include him just as you always have.

Right now hes trying to fit in...and please other people. He will miss his family. It may take something huge to jostle him but give it time. The very FIRST thing new people are taught is that people who are "with Satan" including his own family, will try to stop him from becoming a JW and when it happens, the JWs go SEE??? We have the TRUTH because we KNEW that opposition would happen!! Jehovah is calling you..dont let Satans minions pull you back!"

Thats powerful stuff. It WORKED on me personally.

Dont give them ANY amunition.

Loves

bebu

The very FIRST thing new people are taught is that people who are "with Satan" including his own family, will try to stop him from becoming a JW and when it happens, the JWs go SEE??? We have the TRUTH because we KNEW that opposition would happen!! Jehovah is calling you..dont let Satans minions pull you back!"

And this is a tactic used not only by JWs, but by other cults as well. If you feel that your son is believing such things about you, you might ask him if there might be any way to reasonably test out the JWs without his jumping to conclusions about your motives. Remind him that the Bible warns him--and you--to test EVERYthing, and hold to that which is good. Proverbs 18:17 also says that the first to present his case seems right, until another comes forward and questions him. Let him know that the Bible recognizes the need for cross-examination.

BTW... please be careful about information overload. Make sure you breathe deeply and are calm before saying or doing anything. Overwhelming him at the beginning will be tempting, but be prepared for a long road. If he's online, that is best for you. You can send a link to a website like the Quotes website, which is one of your best options, because it is all WTS material... and what could he find wrong with that?? Ease into the scandals later. You can be very innocent about asking his opinion about how JWs deal with so many changes. Let him know that if there is truth to the JWs religion, and your life is actually on the line, shouldn't he help smooth the road out for you by answering your questions?

bebu

lavendar

THANK YOU to all who wrote! You are all a real encouragement to me, and I appreciate your advice and help so much. I'm sure I'll have more questions for you in the near future.

Warm regards,

Lavendar

Free

I hate to tell you but for now there is nothing that you can do, especially since he has a supporter who he sleeps with and loves. Sit back and bite the bullet for now and act like it is OK, this way you can possibly reason with them in the future. It will be a ride for sure. It will be no good though to reason now since it is so close. DON'T give them presents and don't invite them over even for Thanksgiving. I believe you will find comfort here on the forum and get the knowledge you need to state your case in the future. Welcome to the place you can scream out loud. , no one could tell me when I was first brainwashed. but now I am FREE , hang in there.

It happened.....

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