WHERE ARE YOU?

Jez

So, my 16 year old is really giving me a hard time lately. Really horrible stuff. I won't get into it but my reason for posting this topic, is that I keep thinking how difficult this is to not be able to be mothered when I need it.

I would never have imagined how hard this is. To raise teenagers and not have a mother to turn to for support, advice and a hug. I have tried to normalize alot in my life, but this is one thing I have no control over. I am not sad about her shunning me, usually I don't even think about it and accept this as her issue, but some days, I just want to phone her and scream WHERE THE F*&! ARE YOU?

Not only do I expect myself to have all the answers regarding my teen, but my teen expects me to know what I am doing as well!! Every decision I make is both right and wrong.

Jez

lovelylil

jez,

I know how you feel. I have a 14 year old, girl, who lately has me pulling my hair out. I lost my mom to cancer several years back so I don't have anyone to turn to either for advice.

Sorry to hear about your mom and shunning you. I thought the WT had an article a few years back that said it was a personal dicision as to whether or not you want to shun your grown children? Am I wrong if not maybe someone has an article.

Of course your mom may be one of the zealous ones and won't listen anyway. Again, sorry to hear it. Lilly

becca1

Could you call her and say how much you need her right now, just to "test the waters"? Maybe she'll soften...

zeroday

Show her this Watchtower:

Watchtower August 1, 1974 pp. 467,471,472

5
Congregational elders, as well as individual members of a congregation, therefore, ought to guard against developing an attitude approaching that which some Jewish rabbinical writers fomented toward Gentiles in viewing them as virtual enemies. It is right to hate the wrong committed by the disfellowshiped one, but it is not right to hate the person nor is it right to treat such ones in an inhumane way.

21

As to disfellowshiped family members (not minor sons or daughters) living outside the home, each family must decide to what extent they will have association with such ones. This is not something that the congregational elders can decide for them. What the elders are concerned with is that "leaven" is not reintroduced into the congregation through spiritual fellowshiping with those who had to be removed as such "leaven." Thus, if a disfellowshiped parent goes to visit a son or daughter or to see grandchildren and is allowed to enter the Christian home, this is not the concern of the elders. Such a one has a natural right to visit his blood

Frannie Banannie

Jez, would you adopt me as your mother? My own daughter has teens and exhibits no need or desire to have me as her mother.

We're not estranged over the WTS issues. My daughter has issues over my worthiness to be her mother. She has an elitist attitude and finds my existence to be an embarrassment to her. I've grown older and don't get around as well as I used to be able to do. I'm on SSI because I can't work, so I don't have the money to spend on her and my g/daughters that I used to have. She's made it clear that I'm not in her class, nor am I smart enough to be her mother. Oh, not in so many words, just her actions towards me. She's usually subtle about showing her superiority attitude, though not always.

I used to phone my mother no less than once a week, if not to ask for advice, then to share something that had happened in my life, or share some thoughts. My daughter is too busy. Granted, she's hip-deep in "alligators" with those teens at times, but she always has time to "veg-out" in front of the TV every day when she's not working or shopping or visiting someone else. Her phone calls are so rare that I've told her not to bother.

Frannie

evita

Hi Jez
I have a 15 year old son who is a sweetheart some days and a major challenge on others. My JW mom died 2 years ago. I hesitated to confide in her when she was alive because I always felt she was judging me and thinking if only I served Jah I wouldn't be having these difficulties.
If she were here today I would not let anything stop me from confiding in her. I miss her so much.
I can relate to your situation. With teens it seems there are no easy decisions. Sometimes I don't know what to do and I fear losing my relationship with my son.

Quandry

I am over 50. I could probably be your mother. Just remember that your son needs a mother. Someone with authority. Someone who cares about his future. Keep talking and reminding him that you are on his side, but you are a parent, not a buddy. You want the best for him and want the best out of him. Even if he doesn't act like he appreciates your constant advice, don't give up. He may reason on it at a time when he needs to make a decision. The alternative, to give up, or to stop being a mom, is too bad to contemplate.

Carmel

ain't it sweet that the JWs don't want to be "leavened". Sure makes for flat bread of life!

saltless saltine anyone?

carmel

Tigerman

Jez,

Why is she shunning you ? Is she a JW ? Who does she live with now ?

Tiger

codeblue

Many hugs to you now

I lost my mom when I was 14...

WHERE ARE YOU?

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