Should Elders show concern for the sheep???

by KAYTEE 18 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  KAYTEE

  A couple of instances in my last congregation -

  1. My wife and I live in an old converted water mill, a couple of hundred yards from the river Wye, which has a habit or rising and falling 25 feet in a matter of hours. One particular bad year the whole county of Hereford was almost under water, it was shown on TV with all the fields flooded as the river burst its banks. We were completely cut-off as a consequence. Out of a congregation of 100 Bros & Sisters, just one couple (our close friends) phoned and enquired about our well-being. Out of 11 elders, not one elder could find 2 mins to enquire about our fate.

  2. When a long-standing Bro & Sis for some reason decided not to return to the fold, we purchased a card and got every-one to sign it with messages of comfort and to persuade them to return, three elders refused point blank to sign this card and one questioned it after he had signed it, I said to him " shall I cross your name off the card then?" he realised that that would be worse than not signing it, so he allowed it to stay.

  These are the so-called Christian leaders who should be showing GREAT CONCERN for all those in their care. Luke 15....

  Is this a general thing in the JWs. How many others have heard of similar instances, or was my last congregation just a ONE-OFF !!!!!

  KT
• 

  stillajwexelder

  Should Elders show concern for the sheep??? If they follow the scriptures and follow the bible there are so many reasons why the answer is YES
• 

  candidlynuts

  they should..but its mainly just a job to many..they're sales managers for a big corporation.
• 

  Wasanelder Once

  Anyone who is your friend should show concern. If they claim to be Elders, the official description is that they should be more like "Nursing Mothers", "Tender in our midst", yadda yadda. If they are not doing that, they might as well be the guy you pass on the freeway going the opposite direction.

  I expect nothing and am not dissapointed when I get it.

  I give no respect in return. To be honest, when I was serving it was all consuming to keep up with all the various circumstances and show due empathy and keep in touch with all. Some people just aren't very likable. A situation such as you describe exacts contact even if only in a functional way for crying out loud.

  I did keep track of those who meant something to me and those who were definitely out of the loop and needed extra contact and concern. I cared, I just couldn't be everyone's Daddy. I was a force for good, that was all I could manage. A truly empathetic elder would go nuts trying to be all to all.

  W.Once
• 

  fullofdoubtnow

  The elders are supposed to be spiritual shepherds, so yes they should show concern for the sheep, but in my experience they are, to say the least, inconsistent in doing so.

  Kaytee, your experiences of the elders being unconcerned about the welfare of congregation members is nothing unusual. There was a general lack of love in the kh I attended, and the elders were more unloving than most.
• 

  lawrence

  Why should they start now! These pompous pseudo-clergy should all be relieved of their duty and join a lowrider car club or a gang of thugs where they would be well suited for weekend bullying.
• 

  Balsam

  Rules from the Society seemed so ridged to the Elders that even if they felt compassion I think they hesitated to show it very much. If a person stopped going to meetings regularly they were pretty much marked off as unimportant. Only the most regular ones who neer missed meetings got the attention of Elders. I noticed in our congregation I was last associated with we got calls right away if we all missed even one meeting. I missed meetings occasionally because our boys would be sick but everyone always asked about us and he kids and showed concern. When I was caring for my Elderly Mother we had book study at our house. She became so bad off I could never leave her alone ever and that caused me to miss nearly all the meetings for a couple of years and assemblies and conventions. But because my then JW husband and son attended they always asked about my Mother and I and visited us.

  I did see folks ignored if they didn't goose step with the general order of the congregation though over the years. You had to be perfectly in step to get attention. Otherwise you were considered hanging on the fringe and not worthy of much time.

  Balsam
• 

  KAYTEE

  Wasanelder Once

  I understand fully what you are saying - the apostle Paul tried to answer this, saying "..all things to all men". and other scriptures where he was concerned about the flock.

  As I stated in my topic, there were ELEVEN elders and in that eleven was the so-called important one - the group study elder - this surely should be where concerns start from. In the normal course of events, this would be a rehtorical question, but this site cannot function on rehtorical questions, thankfully !

  thanks for your comments.

  KT
• 

  Gordy

  When I was going through the worst period of my life. Acute clinical depression and attempted suicide. Not one Elder out of 8 offered any "real" sympathy or help. I spent six weeks in a psychiatric hospital, not one Elder came to spend time with me, to talk and help. They even managed to turn my wife against me. Getting her to make me leave the family home, a "spiritual danger" to the family I was. If even one those Elders had come to me and said "We'll help you get through this. We'll give you the support you need. We'll get you back on your feet again". I could well still be a JW today. Instead I got leave the family, go to another congregation, incidentally were the Elders were even worse.

  It was this totally unloving attitude that shook me more than anything. For 25 years I had believed I was in "Jehovahs loving organisation" , congregations run by "loving shepherds" who cared and looked after the sheep. During this period I often wonder whether I was guided to what led me on the path to learning the truth about the Watchtower. I spent 2-3 years research on the WT learning about their lies and deceit. During that time I had one "shepherding" call from one Elder. That was to tell me to get on field service, which would help me.

  Then in August 1999 I stopped attending meetings because I now knew what lies I was listening to and no longer believed. I expected a call from Elders. Nothing! not even an invite when the Memorial came round. Two Elders only lived a 5 minute walk from my house. It was September 2001 before two Elders called. Why did they call? There was a campaign to get "inactive" ones back because numbers were dropping. Not for any concern about me. I wrote a letter of disassociation the next day.
• 

  Kudra

  This reminds me of last year during the floods in Northern California. The elders at our hall would not come out to help us either. We called one elder and his wife said "...well he said he's sort of tired right now... Hope it goes well for you." NO follow up call or anything.
  
  I was sick with the flu, just had 11 cavities filled and was visiting my parents -thankfully I could offer them a little help. We werre sandbagging at 3 in the morning and fortunately the creek finally went down just before it breached our sandbag line.
  
  At the facility in our town that was supplying sandbags two nice young "worldly" men offered to come out to our house and help my dad. They were such a help- cute too!
  
  -K