I am a point in my life when I reflect upon my history and my interactions with various people who have been a part of my life. Some have stayed and yet some inevitably have left through either their or my own choice or indeed by sadly moving into the next life. These people include family, close friends’ partners, colleagues and acquaintances. It stands to reason that not everyone that enters into your life has a positive effect and as such some have even been the originator of some considerable pain, anguish and on some occasion’s abuse. On the flipside, some bring with them love, support, friendship and ultimately trust, yet I think it important that despite all of that, we learn from such people and experiences and take those often harsh lessons with us on our onward journey.
Life, even at times when you are at your weakest point or feel that day’s could never be darker, teaches us important lessons; do we simply ignore them or do we allow both positive and negative experiences to lead, mould and teach us?
Is it possible to see past the negative experiences perhaps even to forgive? Would such forgiveness help us to heal our wounds or would it simply let the perpetrator off the hook and create longer term resentment? I for one believe that we must move on and that whilst a moment of reflection is needed and is entirely necessary, to be keeping too much of an account of the injury and to be constantly looking behind us will only drive us in that direction – backwards.
Love is an aspect of life which is often positive, it induces creativity, passion, trust, and friendship but on the flipside of this, it is often where we can feel at our most exposed and vulnerable. This is particularly so where historically negative people have abused our trust when we least expected it; do these experiences teach us to never trust again or do they teach us to trust only those who are trustworthy? Can our experiences teach us to identify the difference between those who we can and cannot trust? Do we really need to know the difference? I consider trust to be the most important part of any relationship whether that is a friendship or something more tender – without it being the cement used to bind, the whole structure can fall apart with little pressure.
But where does such trust come from? Can it be reasonable to trust someone automatically from the outset until they prove different or should trust be as a result of experience? Is it possible to combine both perspectives? – Of course I accept that this depends both on the circumstances and the degree of risk and exposure you face, but where do you draw the line?
Historically our perspectives have had to change monumentally when we consider our world view; from a JW standpoint everything is so short term and not built to last; do we still have such short term views or are we prepared to now live life to the full and put every effort in achieving the ultimate goal – happiness? Do our lives still reflect the fact that our belief system was abused or are we making constant steps to move on and to heal? Time I suppose will only tell.
I look back and know that I have experienced; I have learned; I have experienced pain and I have forgiven and I have been forgiven; I have healed; I have felt and continue to feel love; I have trust and have been trusted.
Yet as I reflect and sense an inner peace like never before I still look at the journey ahead with some trepidation and caution, I suppose that is natural. I look to my right and beside me is the one person who truly understands me, her hand is in mine and her face is full of love and strangely enough, admiration. The road ahead seems clear but she still senses my apprehension and probably feels it too.
Nothing more needs to be said between us at this point; we both put our best foot forward and cautiously but with a degree of confidence, we move on.
These were just some of the thoughts and ramblings I had as I reflected on history and consider the future ahead.
Peace and blessings
Gary