I would love to hear from anyone who grew up in the truth and is gay

Ragnarökkr

Hi.

After lurking for a number of months I have decided to join in and hopefully connect with a few people who will know what it has been like to grow up as me.

I left the truth a number of years ago for two reasons, one of which was my sexuality, which I knew to be unacceptable to my brothers and sisters. Since then I have alone in my isolation, hopefully through this site I can rectify that. I hope to be able to connect to people who can really understand what it is like in my head, to grow up gay and in the truth. The shame of having those feelings, the guilt, the loss of everyone you love as you have to leave, trying to fit into a hostile world and a gay scene that represents and is everything you have been taught to think of as bad. How did you do it?

Looking back on my time in the truth it wasn’t a bad time for me, unlike some on this site I did fit in and was a part of that big “family”. Losing that though was hard and I have never been able to replace that feeling of belonging out here in the world. I guess that is why I am here, I want to belong again.

Ben - London

StillGroggy

A guy I used to know in JW is gay, but he's sortoff crazy so we don't talk anymore. But I know he had a really hard time, when the elders in his hall found out, they grilled him on the gamut of sexual questions including (Brace yourself) - Do you ever think about animals? - Do you ever think about children? I was like WTF??? Do they really equate homosexuality with that stuff. come on! So they treated and continue to treat him like garbage for something he can't help. BTW, do you still think it's "the truth?"

Ragnarökkr

BTW, do you still think it's "the truth?"

No, I learnt a long time ago that the "truth" is not the truth. However I was brought up in it, the man I am is based upon those bible principles we were taught as kids. Try having morals on the gay scene, its not easy and sets you apart from everyone else. I still try to treat people as I would like to be treated, hard when most in this world seem to follow the "do as though will" rule.

Ben - London

jstalin

Ben - I'm gay but was never a JW. I can't really relate to what it's like to grow up in the unTruth, but I can relate to growing up gay. If you ever want to chat, let me know.

NYCkid

Ben,

I can relate somewhat, I am gay and was raised a JW. Although I had difficulty with not being allowed to attend college, I was a uber young JW, always willing to serve and pioneered and was a M.S. and volunteered at assemblies and quickbuilds and occasionally had parts at the assemblies proclaiming how "good" I was. I had many good friends and was always included in social functions. Looking back however, I realized that for the most part, I had feelings that I didn't belong. Sterotypically, I was never good at sports (e.g. basketball and football - the brothers were actually very nice about it) except for skiing and tennis and I preferred to hang out with the "sisters" and have a flair for entertaining and baking.

Frankly if I wasn't gay, I'd probably still be a JW, have 3 or 4 kids by now and working at dead end job (judging from the outcome of many of my old JW friends). Therefore acting on my inherent sexuality was liberating for me in more ways than one.

Feel free to hit me up if you want to chat. There's also a int'l online support network called A Common Bond for former and current JWs who identify as being lesbian, gay, bi and transgendered.

Best,
NYCkid

gordon d

Welcome to the board... We're glad you're here!

Where do you stand on spirituality today? Have you found any group that accepts you without judgement?

mouthy

Welcome to the board....Yes it must have been very difficult growing up as a JW....Thank God your free now. I was one of those judgemental sisters? who would have veiwed being gay a bad thing. Since I have now a personal relationship with Christ. I love you & realize it is possible to be born gay!!!!I am so sorry for being deceived into that judgement state. Thank God you can be honest with yourself....I have a few friends that are gay. I love them dearly..... "Come AS YOU ARE" was asked by MY GOD!!!!

That was to us ALL. I guess you are one of the ALL too.....Thanks for sharing.(((((((HUGS))))

Jankyn

Mouthy, you warm my heart.

I grew up JW and came out at about 16. It sucked. I'm okay now. But I've discovered that recovering from the JW upbringing took even more work than coming to accept my sexual identity.

I think there's a blog for gay ex-JWs...maybe somebody can post the link.

Jankyn

littlerockguy

Welcome Ben:

I officially come into the organization around the mid 80s in my teens. I thought my homosexual feelings that I had at that time was just a phase and if I did everything I was suppose to things would fall into place. I grew up mostly living in the rural bible belt south so I keep my feelings pretty much to myself but later on as the years went on I couldnt stand the thought of living a life as a JW and gay. I had to be true to myself and begin finding out who I really am instead of wearing a JW mask and trying to be what people thought I should be or could be so I planned an exit strategy which took quite some time and eventually faded and moved away from where I used to live. I still somewhat believed it some of the JW teachings when I first quit going but it got to where I would rather die than live that kind of life for the rest of my life.

Im at work right now so I have to get going but give me a hollar sometime or send me a PM if you would like to chat.

PS: I wish you would have came onboard earlier, I was just in London this past September. We could have met for tea!

LRG

mouthy

I would rather die than live that kind of life for the rest of my life.

Just another sin the WT added to all their other sins,,,,Imagine they would rather die than be honest to themselves ..... "To thine own self be true""""" Glad you woke up sweetie

I would love to hear from anyone who grew up in the truth and is gay

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