I am so angry (page 2)

codeblue

Welcome Hambeak's partner

You are a wonderful person as well, you are giving Hambeak much loving support.

delilah

((((((((((((((((((((((((((Hambeak and partner)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Hey TXJ! I know. That man from the few hours I got to speak with him has sucked me in for life. You and he are both so amazing. I say keep loving him even when you don't understand the JW's. It is a harsh world they love in and people of good heart like Gary get cut so hard. He is so "real" and they are alseep and will don't see how absolutely beautiful he is. If you need to undderstand them...just log in and join the discussions. Lots of Love, Dex.

katiekitten

It must be so hard for you to watch our lovely Hambeak take shit and not be able to say or do anything.

There was something of a similar situation in my partners family. There was a rift between my partners sister and his mum. The sister said some pretty nasty things to the mum, and the mums boyfriend started sending nasty texts to the sister because he felt so helpless and pissed off. Now, he really went about things the wrong way, but all told, lots of things got said that some people wanted said. The rift was never going to heal anyway, there was nothing to lose by him venting.

I think Hambeak is unbelievably generous to protect his childrens feelings by never retaliating. If I were you I think I would have to have my say, but perhaps in a controlled way that left no doubt about what I thought.

Anyway love to you both. I am happy that our wonderful Hambeak is loved by someone as wonderful.

jgnat

Welcome, hambeak's partner. He'd been on already, depressed, talking about his children. I think they are ungrateful wretches and he needs to stand back and WAIT until they really miss him. Here's what we advised. You can follow up and make sure he takes it.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/123944/1.ashx

juni

I'm glad that you felt comfortable posting here Gary's partner.

When someone we love is getting hurt we want to fight their tormentors. I would say to keep your cool and continue your support for him.

A parent's love for their children runs very deep. Even when you are crapped on by your kids you still love them dearly. Of course you hate what they are doing, but not the person. Especially when they are involved w/a controlling cult. And I'm sure that's how Gary feels. It would only add to his pain by getting involved in fighting back. Trust me. I know how you feel.

Perhaps his heart attacks and cancer were related to the stress he's had to face during the past years. He's a gentle man who has been deeply affected by horrible treatment.

I think it would be best to keep the stress at a minimum. Try to hold your anger at his daughter while still listening to him. Often times a person in his position just needs someone to listen - not come up with an answer.

Best to you both,

Juni

Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit

Yeah! Hugs.

Catfish

Big Tex

I really don't like what his blood family is doing to him

One thing I've learned from this life is family, real family, is more than just blood or a common name.

Give hambeak a big hug from me. You both are welcome in my home anytime.

Chris

Abandoned

Hambeak and your friend,

I love you both. I understand what you were talking about - seeing your friend do those kind things and still be considered a piece of garbage by the jw. If you take nothing else from your visit here and your dealings with jw, I hope you learn the following:

Jevhovah's Witnesses Are Not God's Spokesmen.

Their opinion of who's righteous and who's not righteous isn't anymore valuable than anyone else's. Don't trust me or anyone else about that, but investigate for yourself.

mama bear

XU said: -- Hey hambeak's partner. I don't know if you are still up reading or if you just had to vent, but I feel you. Some of us in his situation have different ways to deal with it, but most of us will justify our families' behavior to some extent because we understand where they are coming from or we used to be like that ourselves. It's really especially frustrating to our partners who weren't exposed to the bizzare world of witnesses. People that hear the stories are like, whoa, that's crazy! But people that have to live with us in the aftermath really see how sick and wrong and cruel it is. Hambeak is fortunate to have you on his side. --

So true! So very true! Yet, as seen by the person who has been so personally affected as Gary's partner, one of the single most repulsive things seen by the outsider and NEVER understood is the whole 'shunning' aspect of their beliefs. While most of us who were once Witnesses engaged this facet of behavior ourselves while Witnesses and fully understood that it was expected, there are some who did it while privately not agreeing with it. It runs against human nature to cut someone off who has allegedly made a mistake instead of showing them compassion and trying to encourage them through their alleged 'sin' state of mind. The fact is though that with each shunned person who is so vehemently treated there are those looking on who WILL NEVER become a Witness because of that! And that circle of NEVER GONNA BE's grows exponentially with the exposure of the shunned one to nonWitnesses who see nothing wrong with the individual being shunned and the effects of the shunning on the individual. This effects those who the shunned one works with, socializes with, neighbors with, shops with, etc. I have a daughter [the one who we went to bat with because her step father abused her..we legally adopted her after we were all tossed out of the Org] and a granddaughter who live here in this very small town. The last time I saw my granddaughter was 7 yrs ago when we disassociated from the Org. Her mother remains married to her elder husband and on the active rolls, though from what I have heard from nonWitnesses who we have in common she is not necessarily living a Witness life by going to meetings or out in the ministry...she is playing the 'sick' card. Because it is such a fundamental aspect of their belief system that mankind is so far removed from perfection as this system progresses, being ill is like a confirmation of their religious doctrine so the more ill you claim to be the more excusable your lack of 'Witness' activity is because you trade off the meeting attendance and field service for being so imperfect!

Also, I am the president of a local non profit organization who manages a staff of around 10. One of the office staff is a Witness. The Witness must communicate with me because it is 'business' but the board of directors and fellow staff are beside themselves that there is so obvious a case of shunning and they all know me...they know I don't do anything that is considered 'sinning' except that I disagree with the JW doctrine adamantly! To me, this is the best tool for a former Witness to have in their arsenal! It serves as a visual and tangible example of a destructive doctrine which creates in the onlooker a firm grasp of what they would never want to personally experience.

I am so sorry for the pain this doctrine causes the individuals who are being shunned because whether we understand it or not we still have feelings and in so many cases are far and away not really so 'evil' as this sort of behavior suggests. Let me join the cast here in sending you my sincere condolences for having to see the effects on someone you love and especially because you know your partner is so undeserving of this. This is like a prophalactic shot for you...seeing this and understanding its devastation on your partner hopefully will create antibodies in you against ever falling prey to this religion and especially this doctrine.

May God bless you both and bring you healing peace in abundance.

I am so angry