Hope the best in your upcoming wedding!
Shunning via Rumor
by NeonMadman 28 Replies latest jw friends
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California Sunshine
***************We’ve come to where we are because of where we’ve been, and all we can do is go forward from here.***********
Wise words from someone whos been through alot.
I remember saying that I had wasted the best years of my life on my exhusband until a true friend woke me up to the fact that those were obviously NOT my best years. My best years are NOW. I have spent the last 20 years in the arms of the most wonderful man there is, my present husband.
Congrats on your impending wedding. Best wishes to your bride. I'm sure you are both walking into the best years of your lives.
minds are like parachutes--they only function when open.
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NeonMadman
----- just testing my new sig -----
(But I'm shameless enough to use the test to bring my post back to the top) :) -
NeonMadman
hmmm...lets try that again...
"The truth was obscure, too profound and too pure; to live it you had to explode." ---Bob Dylan
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joelbear
Neon,
Thanks for sharing. Just shows that behavior is the real sign of a person's values, not what building they go to to be lectured to.
Shunning is a passive aggressive power play intended to manipulate someone into behaving the way you want them to behave.
It is simply an exaggerated, congregationally underwritten "cold shoulder" routine.
I wish you well.
hugs
Joel
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Xena
Wow that was an emotional rollercoaster went from sad to mad to happy...glad it is turning out all good for you in the end! and really that's all the matters, huh? the end result?
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Yerusalyim
Neon,
They still award alimony? Holy COW! It ends if she remarries coorect? $110 a week, I assume you have a decent job. FOR LIFE? You want that my cousin Guido pay her a visit? Anyway to sue for recovery of part of the debt she ran up?You're dealing with this far better than I would. God Bless!
YERUSALYIM
"Vanity! It's my favorite sin!"
[Al Pacino as Satan, in "DEVIL'S ADVOCATE"] -
NeonMadman
To Yerusalyim:
Unfortunately, I live in the socialist republic of Connecticut, where alimony is virtually automatic as long as the man makes more money than the woman (women virtually never get hit with alimony, regardless of income). The courts make no bones about the fact that the sole intent of alimony is to equalize income, and circumstances are rarely brought into the equation. The judge basically looks at two numbers, the man's earnings and the woman's earnings (the judge may at times consider living expenses as well), and whatever number is needed to make the two of them equal is what the guy pays. In my ex-wife's case, she was working three days a week as a waitress and understating her cash tips. It wouldn't have been an issue that she could have worked full time, or that maybe she was making more in tips than she claimed - the burden of proof for the latter would have been on me, and she would have claimed that she could only work three days because her back hurts. Guess what; so does mine, but I work every day anyway.
Connecticut's socialism shows through in other ways, too. Unemployment compensation is distributed almost automatically, without regard to the manner in which one leaves a job. In theory, one who quits is not entitled to benefits, nor is one fired for misconduct. But, in practice, employers never win hearings unless the claimant fails to appear. A friend of mine is a manager for a linen supply company, who fired a delivery driver for stealing cash off his route. When the driver applied for unemployment benefits, the hearing officer decided that stealing cash was "poor judgment," not misconduct, and awarded benefits.
And, of course, if you're a professional welfare recipient, it's well known that Connecticut is one of the best places to be...
I am SO glad to be moving out of this left-wing, socialistic nightmare of a state when I get married this Sunday!
And, by the way, having your cousin Guido pay her a visit probably would have been cheaper, even this close to NYC where (I understand) the rates are high!!
Tom
"The truth was obscure, too profound and too pure; to live it you had to explode." ---Bob Dylan -
NeonMadman
It dawned on me today as I was driving around for work that it has been over 5 years now since I posted this, and I was stunned that so much time has passed by so quickly. This Saturday will be my fifth wedding anniversary (of my second marriage, obviously), and I'm still married to the most wonderful woman in the world. Life hasn't always been easy - last year my beloved had to deal with a hip replacement and surgery for ovarian cancer (which the doctors believe they got all of, and all tests over the last year support that). But she has shown me during these 5 years what unconditional love really is - something I never knew as a JW. I don't post here much anymore, but I still pop in from time to time to see what's going on. The JW life is becoming more of a distant memory, and I focus my JW-related efforts on inoculating people against getting in and helping those who are coming out. They have no power over me anymore, and that's a really good thing. Anyway, it's five years down the road, and I just wanted to say hi.
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tijkmo
I was becoming increasingly agitated because of my former friends ignoring me
oh man i can so relate...
all the best for the future