>Thought these were funny, please ignore if they're old news
>
>
> These are some jokes that Jeff Foxworthy had to say about Jehovah's
> Witnesses.
>
> The fact is that they are somewhat accurate. Although he is famous for
> doing hillbilly redneck jokes, he must have a relative that is a Witness.
>
>
> YOU MIGHT BE A JEHOVAH'S WITNESS IF....
>
>
>
>
> ..."pioneer" is not a stereo
>
>
>
> ..."New Light" is not something in the housewares department, and "tract"
> has nothing to do with land or farming.
>
>
>
> ...you know when Nisan 14 of the Jewish calendar lands in the
> Gregorian calendar from year to year, and yet you commonly forget your own birthday.
>
>
>
> ..."Memorial Day" isn't in May.
>
>
>
> ...you spent days at a baseball stadium, never saw a ball, and didn't
> even have a beer.
>
>
>
> ...you think "formal clothing" and "civic center" belong in the same
> sentence.
>
>
>
> ...you wash windows or cars for a living and still own five suits.
>
>
>
> ...you think nothing of letting your friends stop by to use the bathroom.
>
>
> ...you know the cleanliness of every coffee shop and bathroom for four
> towns around.
>
>
> ...you think 2-door vehicles aren't really cars.
>
>
> ...you go to Home Depot and go down the aisle where doors are
> displayed and you feel compelled to knock on them.
>
>
> ...you can't buy a pair of shoes without thinking about how
> comfortable they will need to be while walking residential streets in
> 95-degree heat.
>
>
> ...you have a tendency to refer to books by color instead of by title.
>
>
> ...you have a shelf just for 192-page books.
>
>
> ...you can't pick up a book, or anything else to read, without picking
> up a pencil or highlighter too.
>
>
>
> ...you think it is complimentary to refer to someone as "a study."
>
>
> ...you have "get-togethers" rather than "parties."
>
> ...after one of such "get-togethers" at your home, your house is not a
> mess and you have more food than when you started.
>
> ...you realize things are getting worse, and you're thrilled.
