The Difference between being a Convert and being raised a Witness

by The wanderer 31 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  The wanderer

  The Difference between being a Convert and being raised a Witness

  Having come from a single parent family, I realized the need
  for some sort of structured and organized way of life. Roman
  Catholicism did not really satisfy my need because my view
  of the Catholic Church was that is was more ritualistic.

  The Watchtower's attraction

  Admittedly, the Watchtower attracted me because it seemed
  to offer certain things that were missing from my own life. As
  already mentioned, the structure and organization. In addition,
  the hopes and promises were an added bonus.

  Comparing apples with oranges

  I was not raised a Witness, however, I accepted the full
  indoctrination and ideologies of being a Jehovah's Witness.
  
  It would seem reasonable to me that the differences between
  being raised a Witness and being a convert carries its shares
  of differences.

  Questions to Consider

  1. If you were raised a Witness and you knew someone that was
     not, what differences did you find between yourselves?

  2. If you were a Witness convert, how do you think your life
     differed to someone born and raised in the "truth."

  ---

  Please add your commentary and
  perspective on the matter so that
  all can learn.

  Respectfully,

  The Wanderer
• 

  AuldSoul

  I always felt like people who weren't raised in the truth had less expectation to live up to than I had. I have a huge extended family (maternally and paternally) and almost all of them are JWs. "Successful" JWs, in JW terms. Pioneers, elders, "need greaters", Kingdom Construction Workers, Circuit Overseer, Bethelites...

  ...I sometimes envied my best friend who only had two grandparents who were JWs, and they weren't stellar JWs. He had no expectations except those he put on himself.

  Now I am kind of glad for the pressure of my "rich spiritual heritage." If not for that pressure I might not have been as studious and may have never left.

  Respectfully,
  AuldSoul
• 

  blondie

  I had a non-JW father and a JW mother, so I walked in both worlds.

  Non-JWs remember celebrating holidays and birthdays, don't have memories of being made fun of in school for not saluting the flag or saying the pledge. Converts were adults making the decision to become a JW and had lived for some time in the adult world; not so those raised in a JW family.

  Blondie
• 

  fullofdoubtnow

  I was a convert, at the age of 21, and I always thought that youngsters raised in the religion were under pressure, from the age of 9 or 10, to make their decision regarding baptism. It almost amounted to blackmail at times. I didn't have to endure that, so I don't know how I'd have reacted, but these kids had never known any other life, nor were taught to expect any, whereas I had known what "the world" was like before I joined.
• 

  The wanderer

  Dear Brandon (Auldsoul):
  
  Thank you for sharing your perspective
  regarding this matter. You said things
  that I never even thought about.
  
  Respectfully,
  
  Richard
  
  (The Wanderer)
• 

  proplog2

  I am a third generation JW. The biggest difference for me and my family is that we are broke-ass poor. My parents and grandparents (immigrants) thought the end was coming and never accumulated money. The non-witness part of my family all have good education, great jobs, nice houses. And they aren't the brightest bulbs on the lamp. There never was money for down payment for a house - the one investment that most people have. Now my parents are dead and they left nothing to their kids. My contemporaries who became JW's on their own have all inherited money from their parents. None of them are millionaires but they got 200-500 thousand bonus from their parent's death.

  The biggest difference is that serious JW's don't accumulate wealth. For the average family this needs to be done over a couple generations. I have known JW's who didn't take the religion serious who got their coins.

  Add to that the problems with leaving. You need your families for help. (Usually baby-sitting and transportation emergencies.) You have no friends outside. No network. Bad health because self-employment (carpet laying, window washing, janitorial work) puts you out of range of good insurance.

  My Grandparents came from Eastern Europe to live the good life. Then they became JW's oooooops. That's it for a couple of generations.
• 

  Finally-Free

  I converted to JWism in my mid twenties. Prior to being a JW I had many friends and a very active social life. When I joined the cult I wrongly assumed I would easily make friends, as that had been the case my entire life. The reality was that I was always viewed with suspicion by the JWs. I had a "worldly" past, and I suppose that I was destined to be considered "bad association" for the rest of my life because I used to smoke, drink, and fuck before I was a JW. No matter how hard I tried, I was never really accepted by them. I was also considered rebellious because I refused to shave off my moustache until the elders could provide me with scriptural proof that it was necessary to do so. For the next 20 years the only time my phone ever rang was when someone wanted food, money, a ride, help moving, or free computer assistance. I was there to be used, abused, and discarded at will. The only reason I remained a JW as long as I did was because I was married to one. Though still a believer, I had no desire to live in a "paradise earth" filled with such shit people as the JWs, and I had decided long ago that if I had the misfortune of surviving armageddon I would promptly take my own life.

  W
• 

  Fe2O3Girl

  First of all, I would like to highlight something you said that I think we consistently overlook:

  the Watchtower attracted me because it seemed to offer certain things that were missing from my own life

  That isn't big enough - this is important!

  the Watchtower attracted me because it seemed to offer certain things that were missing from my own life

  How many times do we answer someone worried about a friend or relative becoming involved with the Watchtower with pages of quotes, references to decades old literature, clever questions to ask.....this is not the key. The key is: what is missing in their life that the WT is offering? There has to be an alternative.

  If you were raised a Witness and you knew someone that was
  not, what differences did you find between yourselves?

  I never found any more difference between myself as a born-in and a convert than I did between myself and another born-in JW. I never viewed the converts as different and I don't think I treated them differently. That said, I was surprised to learn after I left that some adult converts did think that they were viewed as second class.
• 

  reneeisorym

  I felt as a raised up JW that at least they could say they made the decision to be a JW.

  I felt like since I was raised up one, I couldn't tell people at the door, "I've been where you are and I found this to be the right religion" (funny I used to think there even was a right religion).

  Its funny now because I can say "Yeah I was raised by strict Jehovah's Witness parents, but I found that they never taught me how to have a relationship with God. Now, I have the joy of knowing God and being one of His children."

  Renee
• 

  XJW4EVR

  I had expectations, great expectations, that were thrust upon me. I was expected to get baptized at an early age. I was expected to vacation pioneer, I was expected to give No. 2 talks, I was expected to be on the platfrom at Circuit Assemblies & District Conventions, I was expected to be an example of "Jehovah's little boy." I was expected to take my spot in the panethon of elders that was my father and uncle. But the pressures of all those expectations crushed me, and I became a classic underachiever. It was a hard, self-imposed mold to break. It took the patience and understanding of a Pastor and some few key men to bring out the real me. I have never looked back since.

  Yes, it is different. Even my own WT experience was different form the picture that most paint about Elder's kids. I was thrown in front of Judicial Committees by my father. Something I am both thankful for & disappointed in. I am thankful, because my dad was not the hypocritical Elder that so many of you describe. He showed me that if you truly believe something then you live it out in your life. I am dissappointed in the actions of my dad, because there was never a time where I could feel confident to tell him that I was having issues, in teachings or in life, without that fear of having to go through another Committee meeting.

  Converts have no clue about the amount of pressure on JW kids. That is why I think so many of us that were "raised in the Truth" go hog wild at one time or another. Just my two cents, and I would love to discuss this further with former converts and 2nd or more generation people.

  XJW