I am so weary................

by delilah 27 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Mary

  Delilah said: I had lunch with the evil s/i/l, who is a "good" little dub, (lmao) She proceeded to bring EVERYTHING up again, ( long, sordid story, one I will tell later) which my brother, her husband, told her NOT to do, and I came home so depressed, my hubby called from work, and I cried my eyes out....I will not have lunch with her ever again.

  Oh lordie....you had lunch with that cow again?? You poor soul......no wonder you're depressed as hell. I'm trying to figure out which would be worse: sitting through 5 meetings a week for 20 years or having lunch with your s-i-l. Tough call.

  garybuss said: The Witnesses who are not psychotic are different, but they're not different in very many ways. They're delusional and irrational.

  This sum's up Dee's s-i-l's family to a T. The whole lot of them are completely insane and are not happy unless they're fighting with someone at the Hall or each other. Dee's s-i-l would not hesitate to turn her in to the elders and is about as mentally stable as quicksand. You never, ever give anyone like that any information that you don't want spread from here to Moscow........
• 

  luna2

  Aww, Dee, sorry you had such a crapaliciously depressing day. Its bad enough to lose someone you love...then to have to deal with JW family trying to score points with you by rubbing their delusions in your face and telling you that you KNOW its true has to make you want to slam them back....It would me anyhow. The s-i-l thing sounds like the big fat rotten cherry on top of the moldy cake. Hope you can avoid them all for an extended period of time.

  ((((Delilah))))
• 

  unique1

  I am so sorry that you are being treated this way after suffering a loss. For some reason funerals turn people into seething dogs just waiting to bite. You would think they would bring everyone together, but I have never seen that be the case. Best wishes to you. I hope you can find a way to work it out.
• 

  delilah

  Thankyou all, so much....it's good to know that I have friends here. Grace, big hugs to you...Jgnat, my s/i/l is VERY condescending,( and she knows it)...in all she says and does...she is 5' 8'' tall, and about that wide, she is as big and loud as life itself...very obnoxious and well, just terrible. She is not what you'd call a happy JW at all...she loves everything in an uproar around her. She has a black, BLACK, heart.

  Unique1 said it, she is a "seething dog"....she has a real hate-on for my youngest brother, and seizes every opportunity to put him down, and his wife...she pokes at him, to me, trying to upset me.

  Luna2, Juni, Mysterious, restrangled,What-a-coincidence, Garybuss, Finally Free, Scully....Thank you all for your kind responses. Scully, I was able to get in a dig, I told her she was not acting very Christian-like towards my brother's wife....she does not care. In her mind, she is a JW, going to paradise, the rest of us are as good as dead...

  I haven't spoken to her in 2 years, and I wish I hadn't extended that proverbial "olive branch"....she will never change, and she is toxic....if she is going to paradise, then God help them all....I don't wanna be there...
• 

  Scully

  (((( Delilah ))))

  I told her she was not acting very Christian-like towards my brother's wife....she does not care. In her mind, she is a JW, going to paradise, the rest of us are as good as dead...
  

  I haven't spoken to her in 2 years, and I wish I hadn't extended that proverbial "olive branch"....she will never change, and she is toxic....if she is going to paradise, then God help them all....I don't wanna be there...

  Maybe your digs need to be a little more personal, then. When she gets all high and mighty about going to Paradise™ and reminding the rest of you that you're as good as dead, I think you need to complete your thought to her the way you did here:

  if she is going to paradise, then God help them all....I don't wanna be there...

  Kind of like "If your idea of paradise is being around a self-righteous pompous b*tch like YOU for eternity, I'd actually prefer to be destroyed."

  or "Holy crap, S-I-L, who peed in your Froot Loops today? I thought JWs were supposed to be The Happiest People On Earth™! I guess you haven't had your Prozac today, huh?"

  Seriously, though, this is a symptom that the woman is incredibly insecure and has absolutely no self-esteem whatsoever. This behaviour is known as "leveling" in psychological terms: she writes off any positive thing about you or anyone else by considering you unworthy of living in the Paradise™ and being scathing in her condemnation of your life choices that have brought you positive results. In the meantime, she is keeping to the letter of WTS law, denying her own desires, putting her own goals and needs on the back burner, hoping that it will give her a place in the Paradise™ ahead of everyone else. It's the only way she justify her choice to follow the WTS. My guess is that she is extremely jealous that you have the kind of life she would love to have, but she is requiring herself to martyr those goals in her life in exchange for living in Paradise™.

  You have nothing to fear from her. She is truly a pathetic individual, someone to be pitied.
• 

  delilah

  My guess is that she is extremely jealous that you have the kind of life she would love to have, but she is requiring herself to martyr those goals in her life in exchange for living in Paradise™.

  You have nothing to fear from her. She is truly a pathetic individual, someone to be pitied.

  Bingo, Scully. She has always been jealous of me...I don't know why. When she married my brother, she had a 2 year old daughter. Her parents told her she'd better marry my brother, because there was no-one else knocking on her door. After having dinner with her, at another witness friend's house, I told my brother, NOT to get involved with her, she seemed very unstable, and slapped her daughter silly, right in front of us, a few times. She put her jealousy onto her daughter, towards my daughter. Everything I knitted, or sewed for my daughter, she had to have for her daughter, or else, we weren't accepting her.. She pulled this shit on me and my mom right from the start. It has truly been an awful 18 years, let me tell you.

  She has seen how happy I am, since I walked away from the religion, and I think you are absolutely right...she would love to have my life, but she can't. She really wants to be in that paradise....however, I've told her before, with her black, judgemental heart, how could she even THINK, that God would want her to be there?! She definitely does have mental problems, for which she needs medication. However I'm not sure if she's on any. She would not want them, anyways, because then she'd feel better, and then she'd have no excuse to be miserable, than she'd actually have to go in service, and give talks, and be "active" at the kingdom hall. What a waste....I'm SO glad I got out when I did.

  Thanks Scully. I appreciate your comments and advice. Hugs.

  ~Dee
• 

  sass_my_frass

  Sorry about your gran! It's low of them to act this way in a time like this. The things they should know about the absurdity of their resurrection... ah don't get me started.

  This is a bit of a crisis point for you, but before doing anything major, how about letting it rest for a while? It will probably all settle down again. You have managed to fade away successfully, how about giving them fewer opportunities to get to you?
• 

  delilah

  Hi Sass...yes, I'm giving it a rest, I know where my Grammy is.... and also, the next time my s/i/l invites me to lunch, I'm not going. She is far too caustic for my liking, and I now remember, what I do not miss. I only really miss my brother, and his son and daughter. My s/i/l has such a hold over them, it's awful. I know that my niece and nephew will come to visit once they're out of the house, and away from their mother's ever-watchful eye. Unfortunately, my eldest niece, well, she's too far gone, and is an exact replica of her mother. Sad, but true.

  Thanx Sass-my-frass...