Thanks for all your comments, I do feel a bit better. And bigmouth, thanks for adding to the 'debate' lol.
New Boy- Well, back when I was a JW I wished I could have been a footballer (soccer player to everyone else) and you see when footballers turn 30 its not long before they think about retiring... so I guess I always judge myself agewise against that, so feel "past it" approaching 30. Obviously I'm not a footballer I decided to get baptised instead (dumbest decision ever looking back).
So its not long now.... thanks for all your words, they have helped a lot.... ultimately I need to stop feeling sorry for myself.............................................................................................. and buy some slippers!!!