Help He has been reinstated and Iam lost!

smily

He has been reinstated and only just told me because he felt I could not understand! He says he is living 2 lives, 1 with me and his non witness friends and 1 with his JW's. He says he loves me but I dont understand? Help what is there to understand? I thought it was possible for JW's to go out and care about non JW's? He seems to be getting deeper in and I seem to be losing him? What can I do?

Madame Quixote

Awww! ((smily)) That is a dilemma I've not been in, except with my sister in High School. She vacillated between being my sister and being a JW. Ultimately, she chose being a JW. I am so sorry to hear you're having to deal with that kind of on-again,off-again love. It is very painful, but you will get through this. We are here for you. Welcome to the board. There are many here who've been exactly where you are and who've managed to keep a decent relationship with a JW, despite the difficulties. I hope you can work out your happiness. We are here for you, whatever happens with this person. Hugs. I wish I could give you comfort, but I really don't know what to say, although I do understand feeling "lost." This too shall pass.

Wasanelder Once

The sarcastic part of me says to wave goodbye and count your blessings. The reasonable part says to examine just how truthful is this person you care for. A witness is encouraged not to have anything romantically to do with worldly people, (non witnesses) and to view it as an act of disloyalty to do so. I don't envy you. Be sure you dont get too deep with someone who has no problem keeping the truth from you, their significant other. Here is a quote from a recent Watchtower that sums up what you "don't understand". Its something he cannot defend and so he lives in denial.

Watchtower 2002 May 1p.17JehovahHatestheCourseofTreachery

15

Some today might reason: ‘The person I’m attracted to is very nice. In time, he (or she) will likely accept true worship.’ Such thinking confirms the inspired warning: "The heart is more treacherous than anything else and is desperate." (Jeremiah 17:9) God’s view of marrying an unbeliever is expressed at Malachi 2:12: "Jehovah will cut off each one that does it." Thus, Christians are urged to marry "only in the Lord." (1 Corinthians 7:39) Under the Christian system of things, a believer is not "cut off" for marrying an unbeliever. Still, if the unbeliever stays in his or her unbelief, what will happen to that one when God shortly brings this system to an end?—Psalm 37:37, 38.

That means "is destroyed" and "executed by Jehovah." Can you feel the love?

W.Once

sass_my_frass

You'd be better off with somebody who doesn't lie to you by habit.

FreeGirl2006

Poor girl! I played the fence when I was young & dumb...and I broke my guy's heart. I was just too deep into the doctrine to break free for anyone. It is a losing situation for you. Cut your losses and run, run, run far away from him and the witnesses.

LovesDubs

Whats good for the goose is good for the gander honey. If he is going to be out with his "JW friends" then whenever he goes to meetings, you get your GFs and go to the clubs. If he is too busy going door to door preaching on Saturday and has a meeting on Sunday...grab somebody else. Soon he will see you are NOT sitting by the phone waiting for your "turn."

free2beme

Trying to come between a person and their religion is not easy, and in most cases they choose the religion over you. As much as it might be hard to face, this might be the end of your relationship together. At least until he chooses to come to his senses again, which might take some time or never happen.

nelly136

wow that was quick, it was only 28th ish of oct that you posted he was thinking about it,

either that was one of the fastest reinstatements in history or he was lying his arse off to you and already going through the reinstatement motions.

Clam

Still, if the unbeliever stays in his or her unbelief, what will happen to that one when God shortly brings this system to an end?—Psalm 37:37, 38.

"shortly" eh?

jgnat

Yeah, that's one of the fastest reinstatements in history! I agree that you need to build another life apart from him. After all, that's what he's done to you. Are you two intimate? Maybe to protect your own heart you need to back off a little and just be friends. My advice from your first thread still stands.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/20/123030/2174963/post.ashx#2174963

Edited to add;

He seems to be getting deeper in and I seem to be losing him?

Yes. That is one of the things I liked about you from the start. You dig to the root of the matter very quickly. How about switching from feeling lost to feeling angry? After all, if he loves you why would he shut you out of a big part of his life? It's not the right way to treat people. Sure, the JW lifestyle puts a lot of pressure on people, but he chose to put himself back in that pressure-cooker. No-one made him rejoin.

Help He has been reinstated and Iam lost!

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