Confession
So please let me make plain that--outside of any governmental, religious or societal pressure--to the degree that there may be homosexuals who actually might be interested in such a study, giving them access to it (I think) could be a good thing.
I'm sorry, I did not mean to imply you thought any differently. I agree everyone should have access to any & all information about what makes people tick. Nobody should decide for others what is so very personal.
My interest in this subject began in 1974, just before Armageddon. I found out one of my ten fellow regular pioneers -- was gay! He was one of my good friends...and as fast as I could get to a telephone...I reported him to the Elders. They made mince meat out of him quickly, within a week he was DF'd.
Fast forward to 2005: During all those years I never heard another word about him. Except for the sneers of self-righteousness from JW's who knew about his fall from the favor of God ...and everyone knew. The Elders made sure of that.
It took a few years, but, I began to worry about my former friend...he already suffered from depression and I was fearful my actions may have pushed him over the edge. I was afraid he had committed suicide. I began trying to find him -- to assuage my growing guilt that I could have had a big part in the destruction of someones life. I betrayed something that a friend had told me in confidence.
I could never find anything about him, even in internet searches I did. Finally , 1 year ago, he replied to an E-mail inquiry I had put out looking for someone who might have known him! He was alive! When he saw my name, he later told me, he almost did not reply -- get this -- he thought I might be part of some Jehovah's Witness 'Outreach' Program, trying to get him to come back ! LOL ! I explained, "No-no, not that -- ever!". I was rather eat-up with the JWism cancer back then.
I explained that I simply wanted to apologize to him for what I'd done those many years ago. He accepted that graciously and explained he never had blamed me...he knew I was just following a faithful JW's orders.
What he'd been thru was horrendous, tho'. My friend had been a true believer and it turned out he had always been gay. The Elders promised him a "cure" by becoming a JW, obviously it didn't work. At his inquisition JC, 4 extra elders showed up...to tell him what an awful, pitiful human he was and declared that, "Jehovah himself has turned his back on you...and with Armageddon SO close, you would be better off dead! That way you might have a chance in the resurrection!"
As a true believer, he took that seriously (that Jah turned his back) and so wracked with guilt, he tried suicide numerous times. With all hope taken away, he fell into alcohol & drugs, where he stayed for 15 years. Eventually he got clean, joined AA and has been sober ever since. He works as a counselor, helping addicts and alcoholics now.
Guess what? He's still gay! And I'm happy & proud to have him as my friend -- again.
I learned a good lesson about meddling in others personal issues and in keeping a confidence. I also learned that turning in friends to the elders was not 'a good, loving thing' like I'd been taught, the elders were there to judge & punish not to help. I thought they would 'help' him. I learned that I'd set myself up as a judge, too.
Nevermore, nevermore...
By bringing attention to an underdog group of peoples plight -- for being their natural selves is the very least I can do, in some small way, to make up for my past bad behavior. Or, at least to make others think about the possible results of their "good intentions."
The social pressure is horrendous on these people from many directions, so, I can understand why some may "wish they were not gay." If their situations were different...well, that's up to them.
Rabbit
