WITNESSES REACTION TO FACING DEATH......

Mary

I went to see someone in my old Hall last night, who's recently been diagnosed with cancer. She's only in her late 40s, healthy, so this was a shock when I found out about it the other night. Apparently it's gone in to her liver and her doctor has not given her any hope of surviving it, although they're going for a second opinion, as the doctors in our area are notoriously incompetent.

Even though I stopped going to the meeting 2 years ago, I thought going to see her was the human thing to do, since she studied with me when I was 15 years old and I thought it would maybe be comforting for her to talk to someone else who had had cancer. I got there and there was another couple from the Hall there (an elder and his wife). They were all laughing and joking as though this was just another get-together and her husband was bragging about how many "contacts" he had with the HLC (as if that makes any damn difference when you've got metestes in your liver) and they simply said that they're "leaving it in Jehovah's hand" and would like to "continue to pioneer".

I found the entire conversation surreal. I sure as hell never felt like laughing or joking when I was diagnosed and I was actually quite shocked when she said "...well, if I don't make it, I'll see you on the other side [of Armageddon]. Her husband was adament that Armageddon will "probably be here" before it came to that anyway. I realize that they may still be in shock and are trying desperately to convince themselves that they're not going to have to really face death, but I found the attitude in the room just so bizarre I can't even really describe it. Everything was still about "the Truth, the Truth, the Truth!" and being diagnosed with a life-threatening disease, a minor inconvenience. I thought "..I haven't been gone that long."

Is this a normal reaction amongst Witnesses as opposed to the general population? This sister and her husband have always been self-righteous but I was still stunned at the easy-going way they seemed to be dealing with it.........your thoughts?

Emma

This was definitely not my mom's attitude; she was terrified of dying. I wonder what goes on behind the door when no one is looking. She's still going to have to go through all the stages one faces when dying, but without the right help. How generous of you to reach out to her.

Mary

I wonder what goes on behind the door when no one is looking. She's still going to have to go through all the stages one faces when dying, but without the right help. How generous of you to reach out to her.

I wasn't going to go see her initially. I was somewhat hurt when I never got a visit, phonecall or even a card from her when I was diagnosed, but I decided that that doesn't give me the right to do the same thing, which is why I went. I remember at a bookstudy several years ago, the Conductor gave us an experience of an elderly brother who lost his wife of 40 years and he was out in Service the next morning. This was being held up as a "fine example" of how we're not supposed to "grieve like the rest do who have no hope". I find that the Witnesses don't seem to like it if you are "overly sad" when you find out you are probably going to die and somehow view it as a "lack of faith"........I don't really recall too many articles on this but I'm sure it's hinted in there somewhere about the proper "decorum".

choosing life

This is another area where they consider you spiritually weak if you grieve too much. It shows a lack of faith in the resurrection, or so they think. And they do praise you if you go right back to the routine of meetings and service.

Bizaare is a good choice of words.But, I have seen close up what happens when the pain and dying process starts. The family gets a reality check. The strange thing is that the Witnesses still visit with each other like it is some kind of reunion at the hospital.

The funerals are just as bizaare. I wonder how they make it through all the stages of grief when denial of grief seems to be so admired. I have seen them much more interest in the meal after the funeral then really helping the family. I told my husband that I don't want a witness funeral and what type of music I want-not kingdom melodies.

Mary

choosing life, you summed it up to a T. I think that for many Witnesses, their pre-conceived idea that they'll never die, plus the misplaced trust in doctors, makes it so that they never really give a thought to the inevitable, and when they do come face to face with it, they pretend that it's not really happening..........

When my brother died years ago, my father was having a really horrible time accepting it so he tried talking to one of the elders about it. The elders' response: "...Get over it. You'll see him in the resurrection.." End of story.

blondie

Remember these are people who were told that

THE END IS NEAR

JUST AROUND THE CORNER

MILLIONS NOW LIVING WILL NEVER DIE

NEVER SEE DEATH

LIVE RIGHT INTO THE NEW SYSTEM WITHOUT EVER DYING

Is it no wonder that they have not prepared themselves for death. Now those who are anointed JWs know that they have to die to get their reward but I have found some that want to see Armageddon while living on earth and are in no hurry to die and go to heaven.

Blondie

delilah

Mary....I also find that truly bizarre...Knowing the couple you speak of, I'm sure they must be in shock, and perhaps trying to keep a brave face in front of others.

I don't think ANYONE, who's just been given the news that they have inoperable cancer, would be happy and joking about seeing everyone after armageddon. That's just weird.

I think deep down, they are terrified, but are trying to be"good witnesses" ....but to keep on pioneering? What, is that like, supposed to hopefully maybe cure her? It'll definitely keep their minds occupied, but I think they'd be better to try alternative help, and DEFINITELY seek a second opinion.

I quit!

In my experience I have found the biggest concern of witness whether at a funeral or in the hospital with someone who is very sick is putting on a good show (a good witness). The ultimate goal is to use the occassion to suck someone else into their warped religion. Just part of the brainwashing effect. They don't even realize how strange it looks to those of us outside their religion that know what is going on.

By the way I hope you are doing ok Mary.

kwintestal

Expecting not to die is very unnatural. I remember a while ago talking to my grandmother who's been a JW since the late 70's and who now is in her 70's herself, and she was just getting to the point in her life where she realised that she just might not live forever. When that hits someone especially later in life, it's quite a blow to them.

I'm sure your friend is a lot more worried behind closed doors then she's letting on. I bet she's trying to put on a brave face for "the friends". To bad it doesn't help anyone.

Kwin

Will Power

:-( and so much wasted time. Time better spent with loved ones :-( and not just with people they love, but with those that love them........... did that make sense?

WITNESSES REACTION TO FACING DEATH......

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