"I Wanna Be Around (to pick up the pieces)"

by compound complex 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    CoCo -

    I have to answer this way; I really was a jw who believed and loved people. I always saw the ideology, while I looked past all the hypocricy. Then I found that 607, 1914, 1975, the 1914 Generation were all wrong. I saw that nothing reflected the love of Jesus in the way I saw people treated. I could only see 'Pharisees' where there was supposed to be healing balm.

    Still I wanted to believe. Then I found out that Mexico was more important than Malawi. And that blood really wasn't blood at times. I discovered that some fine men and women, men and women who had devoted entire lives to 'full time service', were dismissed and kicked to the Brooklyn curb for reading the Holy Book.

    I discovered that Jimmy Swaggart was an ok guy to share with in interfaith lawsuits, if one had alterior money to hide from the Man from Uncle Sam. And that, in Bulgaria one can take blood and won't be disfellowshipped, just disassociated and treated precisely in the same manner. I found that children could be raped by elders or ministerial servants or circuit overseers, that it was only rape if two or more witnesses saw it happen. I found mansion deeds in San Diego that gave ownership of million dollar homes to guys who have been dead for thousands of years.

    I watched 'annointed' ones die, and be miraculously replaced time and again by new eaters of the bread of Memorial. I stayed alive till '75, then heard that what I saw happen in the prophetic claims was just my overactive imagination at work. That same imagination made me see things in the bible that were not supposed to be there, and things in the Watchtower that kept repeating over and over again like a bad dream.

    Then I discovered that the best part of Jehovah's witnesses no longer are. And that apostates are not howling at the moon and eating blood pudding. And that Christians and Christmas and the flag had all been misrepresented. And that even though I saw all these wonders, and even though I was of reasonable intelligence, I choked and sputtered on the 'truth about the truth', yearned to see all the 'proof' disproved, so that I could crawl back into the comfortable fetal pose, warm in the embrace of God's people who would usher me into a life of ease in the New Order so close at hand.

    Then another look revealed hundreds and thousands of others, broken hearted and crying out to find comfort as they discovered the same things I did. So, rather than go away, I stayed, and prayed that I might be allowed the opportunity to reach out my hand to someone who needed it. I chose to turn my aching heart into a healing hand if I ever got the chance.

    I stick around with that hope. For when a heart breaks, no one understands it better than he who has had his broken before.

    Jeff

  • Abandoned
    Abandoned

    What helps you personally move forward to aid others, in spite of your pain, your "broken heart"?

    This is a good question. I think the main thing that drives me to want to help others is spunk - I'm not easily intimidated, I can smell bullshit a mile off, and I love bringing crap back to those who spread it out. I spent too much of my life afraid to stand up and be noticed, afraid to participate in all that was going on around me because god would be mad or my "brother" would be "stumbled."

    Well, I'm not that person anymore and I'll go ten rounds with anyone who tries to make me return. Plus, I remember what it was like as a human porta-potty so when I see one who hasn't escaped yet, I have a powerful desire to help - both because I can understand where that person being crapped on is at and also so I can p*ss off the jerk handing out the mistreatment.

    Long answer: the above. Short answer: spunk.

  • MsMcDucket
    MsMcDucket

    I'm just really happy that I'm not bringing anyone else into that crappy religion! Thank God that I'm not causing someone else to take in inaccurate knowledge!

    I not gonna do it and you can't make me!

    ~~~I did it my way~~~

    Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
    When I bit off more than I could chew
    But through it all, when there was doubt
    I ate it up and spit it out
    I faced it all and I stood tall and did it my way

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Hey jeff and Abandoned,

    Wow! I'm going to spend some time pondering all these thoughts. JEFF, on loving people and looking past the hypocrisy, the dirt-swept-under-the carpet bulging through: I relate, especially as I grieved and cried over all those horrible revelations and the lack of concern and failure to redress on the part of the GB. The WT is guilty of idolatry and bloodshed. Per their warnings of many years stuck in my head---and craw--- remove yourselves from the unclean thing, so I did! ABANDONED, on having spunk and not worrying about angering God or stumbling your brother: I'm developing spunk, which is a leap forward for Caspar Milquetoast. And I'm getting way past the contention that breaking a WT rule is going to stumble and ruin my bro. I try to use tact and discernment, but I'm learning when to go the other route---spunk!

    Thanks again, you guys!

    Feeling hopeful,

    CoCo

  • BabaYaga
    BabaYaga

    Dear CoCo... another thing I just wanted to add is that I never, at any point, felt that Jehovah left me. He and I had been communicating all the while on the matter, and I knew that He was not at all pleased by the treatment of disfellowshipped ones. Hell, even I knew that they needed extra care, compassion, and support, not to lose anyone and everyone they had ever loved, cared about, or even talked to. I felt the smile of Jehovah on me because I understood. He never left me.

    I don't think the All's name is Jehovah now, but that doesn't matter, either. I have never felt alone (I spent many nights waking up in cold sweats from night terrors about the organization) but I knew that the "One Within the All" was there.

    It has just gotten easier... and man, oh man, was I right, or what? I just found this site 2 years ago. I have been out for 20 years. Even after all that time being sure I did not want to return to the Witnesses, I couldn't believe what I was reading.

    Cheers to Simon and the mods...
    Cheers to you, CoCo...
    Cheers to all of us. We are here... we did it.

    Love,
    Baba.

    (sing it, Tony, sing it!!!)

  • choosing life
    choosing life

    I knew for many years that all was not well in JW land. But I kept giving them another chance. Yet I never saw a correction or a request for forgiveness when they misled the flock. I saw a single mother with mental problems struggling to raise three children disfellowshipped rather than being helped. I saw kids constantly threarened and scared into submission. I saw the poor and lowly ignored, while the wealthy and well connected were promoted and patted each other on the back.

    This is what finally made me say enough. I will not support such outright hypocrisy and mistreatment of innocent victims. I felt that to even continue to attend their meetings would possibly lead to someone staying in or someone new thinking things were ok there. I am willing to take the criticism from family for staying away in hopes they may someday open their eyes and minds to what is really taking place.

    I decided to post here on the outside chance that I might help support others as they had me, while I read silently here and learned so much. And I too feel all the pain will eventually lead to better days. I thank all those who have taken the bold step of speaking out against outright spiritual, emotional and physical abuse purpetrated by those in power. It is always easier to just go with the flow. And many have paid dearly for refusing to ignore their consciences. I thank them.

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Dearest EVERYONE (most recently: MsMcDucket, Baba, and Choosing Life),

    "What a Difference a Day Makes"---sorry, another song title, can't help it. All of you have turned my day around. A comment I made a few days ago on one of Jeff's threads was about whether or not I should continue posting here. I have benefited so much from everyones' experiences but figured my contributions were of no importance. Well, it seems Lady Lee's words are true: one person speaking out WILL make a difference. But we are a collective. I guess, then, it's possible to be humble and modest but still feel you're needed!

    MsMcDucket---"You can't make me!"---love it!

    Baba---"Jehovah never left me; he and I communicated."---I still have that attachment (40 plus years) and belief despite everything. Your words are perfect.

    Choosing Life---I'm helping a mentally ill DF'd person who was good to me when he was stable. I cannot abandon him but it takes all I've got to keep my sanity. Another DF'd friend saved me from suicide many years ago. I honestly believe Jehovah intervened on my behalf---can't prove it, but I won't be dissuaded. Your point that our being present at meetings gives tacit approval to the Society's ways is well taken. Of course, those here who continue to attend have their reasons and we respect that decision. I used to be there, for my family, hoping and praying, until I could do it no longer. I miss them terribly.

    I posted an Emily Dickinson poem a while back---seems apropos now.

    NOT IN VAIN

    If I can stop one heart from breaking,

    I shall not live in vain:

    If I can ease one life the aching,

    Or cool one pain,

    Or help one fainting robin

    Unto his nest again,

    I shall not live in vain.

    Poetically and prosaically yours,

    CoCo

    I

  • choosing life
    choosing life

    Co Co

    I didn't mean to put anyone down for still attending meetings. I attended for quite a while after I knew things were not right. I just got to the point that I could not listen to their hateful words anymore or their misrepresentation of God.

    I fully understand attending for family reasons and would not judge anyone who chooses to. I wish for the best for everyone who has awakened to this cruel joke of a religion ( ie cult.) and ther families.

  • Abandoned
    Abandoned

    Thanks for the poem - I love Emily Dickenson - and thanks for reminding me of the song, "What a difference a day makes." I know things will look up again. I know this is only temporary.

    Thanks!

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Hey Abandoned!

    Glad you're feeling better now---see, everybody cheered you up! You didn't have to wait for an elder's visit to make you feel better and loved. When I posted "What a Difference a Day Makes" it was without any knowledge of your situation. But it turned up for you; it just came into my head---hadn't thought of that song title for years. Stay healthy and happy and thanks for all your replies.

    With a song in my heart,

    CoCo

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