Lately I have been thinking. There are things I want. I am so tired of working so hard for goals just to watch the prize be taken by someone else who is only slightly interested in the finished product. (no matter what it may be) You know the lucky freak who stepped in at the right time and caught ya' when your guard is down.
I woke up (a bit back) and decided. I am a fighter and I am going to fight for what I want. The gloves are off and nothing will stand in my way. Perhaps the goal is even a prize to anybody other than me. But perhaps being home and having too much time on my hands has made me REALLY have a chance to research a lot of things and I relate my situation to being disfellowshipped.
When you have lost it all there is nothing that anyone can hold over you to make you feel badly or worry. So I find in my freedom from the borg and with nothing really to loose as far as people that are left in the "truth"...I am very liberated. In everyday life, I am so ..............SO tired of working my bottom off and sitting there with my own bottom being fed to me.
Today, I publicly change what I have already resolved to myself. Maybe it is just to make an outward statement of my dedication. hehe. (sounds like baptism huh?)
So here it is. I am deserving of the final goal. In fact, It is mine already. I will be damned if something will get in my way. I will reach the destination and this is not going to be 'just' a journey of learning. I am going to indulge in the attained goal and party like it was 1999. That is all I have to say about that!