My Story

by nonamegiven 31 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Frog
    Frog

    it's a bloody tough road aint it nng :( thankyou for sharing your personal story with us though, i hope that it helped to talk about those very painful things. the lack of true humanity and love in the org was very much the tipping point for me, or as you rather put it, the straw that broke the sheeps back (lol). for a people who so proudly define themselves as being the ones that show loves amongst themselves these sort of treatments can not go unnoticed by those with true hearts and sensitivities. there will though always be those kinds of people in all places, but it is when you feel as though you have been decieved by them to believe the organisation of which you are a part can deliver more to you than it realistically can, when it convinces to put all your trusts, hopes and desires into it, but cannot in the end deliver, that it naturally forces a person with a self-analysing nature to call into question their allegiances. at the end of the day i see the jw-org now as a large mob of individual people who so easily have put all their eggs in one very rigid and deceptive basket. if you feel the fear, then question it, if you don't feel true love and support, then question it, if you have lost your family for this lifes cause, then question it.

    i wish you all the best our friend in your search for the answers you need, just make sure you ask yourself the right questions, no matter how hard and painful they might be. it should not hurt you to test your faith and allegiances, if they are worthy then you will be able to discern for yourself what you know to be right. not religion, organisation or people are without fault, but there are some whose harm and deception by far outway the good which they see themselves to be accomplishing.

    frog x

  • reneeisorym
    reneeisorym

    Thank you for sharing your story. I hope you find "true happiness" very soon. Best Wishes, Renee

  • unique1
    unique1

    I am so sorry to hear that you and your wife were treated that way. No wonder you left.

  • anewme
    anewme

    I want to chime in my welcome also and best wishes on your recovery from the cult.

  • lovelylil
    lovelylil

    welcome to the board. So sorry to hear about your loss. As you know, you will not find any real love in WT organization no matter what hall you are in. Most Witnesses after a while become drones devoid of any real love for their fellowman. Glad to see you have not become like that.

    I witnessed little children being treated horribly by their parents and others in the khs I was in. I was totally repulsed by it. It probably all stems from Rutherfords teaching not to have kids to "slow you down" in this system. Over the years many built up a hatred towards innocent little children. I can remember many older ones who never had kids (and probably felt bitter about it but would never admit it) say very loudly "why would anyone want to have children in this system?" when they found out a mother was expecting. This usually went on right in front of the mother and was a very cold act. One day upon hearing this, I turned to the sister who said it and asked her loudly "so are you saying that the sister should have an abortion then?". She looked at me horrified and stumbled over her words saying "oh,no,no, no, I didn't mean to imply that" - while the rest of the congregation stared at HER! My hubby a MS admonished me for this. Hey, I am a Christian I told him but am not perfect! (sound familiar). Lilly

    The best defense is a good offense.

  • Abandoned
    Abandoned

    nonamegiven,

    You've had a tough time of it. I have to commend you on how you have a plan and are putting it into practice. I hope you are soon able to put this jw crap behind you and move on to the more important things.

  • MsMcDucket
    MsMcDucket
    I can remember many older ones who never had kids (and probably felt bitter about it but would never admit it) say very loudly "why would anyone want to have children in this system?"

    Someone, actually, said something like that to me after I told her that I was expecting twins. The "sister" looked at me and asked "And you're happy about it?". I was confused. I was still new "in the truth", so I didn't understand what she was talking about. If I had of only known. . .

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    MsMcDucket,

    I understand what you are saying. There is another side to the story.

    I found that there was nothing that I could say to her that sounded right. Everything that I said was taken wrong. When my twins were making noise at the Kingdom Hall people would turn their heads and look at me as if I was doing something wrong.

    Your input was gentle and proper. The important thing here is that the event be handled correctly. Noname did not run to the elders and complain about a sister receiving a blessing that she takes for granted. He wrote the sister a letter, letting her know how he and his wife felt about her comments. Even if the letter was harsh (I don't say it was, just a worst-case scenario), this was an issue between two families, not the BOE. If the sister responded to Noname, their families might have bonded and become closer, or at least had more respect for each other. Maybe she wanted to do that. Maybe someone else took it to the elders, or she asked for advice. Whatever happened in Noname's case, the elders got involved and fouled it all up. They could never help people in this cong. until they were ready to make accusations.

    You felt uncomfortable in talking to the sister who lost her child, people looked at you funny like it was your fault. You had trouble with the guy who studied with you, but you didn't try to get the elders to straighten it all out between the other woman and yourself. You tried to smooth it out yourself. Again, the elders didn't help you out after your incident.

    I was an elder, and I will tell you this- We were inadequate to handle many situations, but we could at least show that we cared, listen, and be available. In my case, as I fade, I continue to see that the elders do not even want to go through the motions of appearing to care.

  • drew sagan
    drew sagan

    You have a long way to go, but I think you know that. I hope you got your hands on all the books everybody has encouraged you to read. If I can give you any other kind of encouragement it would be this. Read a Bible other than the New World Translation, you will be amazed.

    I wish you the best. Looking forward to more of your posts. If you ever have any questions you know all of us are here to help you out.

    -Drew

  • Nellie
    Nellie

    Welcome and my condolences to you and your wife. I too have lost a child - in fact, I've lost four - my first pregnancy was ectopic, followed by a miscarriage (then the birth of my first son) and then two more miscarriages. And while I've been blessed with four children in total, the losses are still painful. My advice to you is simple, don't give up.

    Interestingly though, once I felt secure that my second child was "safe" and started announcing it to the "friends", a CO's wife responded by saying, "Ohh, I'm sorry." I couldn't believe her! She was "sorry" I was pregnant. I still want to slap her to this day!

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