Well its over....

by kerj2leev 44 Replies latest jw friends

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  kerj2leev

  after 13years of marriage, today it finally came to an end!

  It felt very strange as I entered into the court room, my attorney on the right and hers on the left. We were the first group of 15 or 16 case to be heard today. As the judge sat down we were asked to come to stand before him. As my attorney asked me questions from are marital settlement agreement, I couldn't help but think how sad this all was. It seemed so lifeless, so everyday, that all these marriages were meaningless.

  I thought of the day we first met, our first date, the first kiss. I thought of the day of our wedding how beautiful she looked, as she entered the room, how all eyes were on her. Of the family and friends that were there all smiling and happy, the dinner and dancing.

  I remember when she was pregnant at the hospital, how she would yell at me to get out of the room and then yell at me for leaving.( we always joked about that)! I remembered holding our son as I sat at her side....

  As I left the court room my attorney told me "congratulations"......had to think about that.....guess I didn't know how to respond, so she said with a little laugh..."I guess". No.... I don't think there is any reason for congratulations today!

  Kerj
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  AK - Jeff

  Sorry - kerj2leev

  Don't know what else to say.

  Jeff
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  Stealth453

  Been there, done that, and didn't like the tee-shirt. You have my sympathies. The only thing I can share is that it will get better. Move on and look for he real Mrs. Right. I did and after 19 years of bliss, and 4 amazing children, I'm glad, and at peace with where I am. If I can be of any help, PM me.

  Stealth
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  Sparkplug

  kerj, it is such a mixed feeling when you divorce. There is nothing wrong with loving the person and not the happenings. It would be silly to not have feelings towards the other party. You were married right? Things change and people change. Life happens and for today you don't have to party in it as some would make you believe. You can just "be".

  It will feel different after a bit and I for one am refreshed to see a person think fondly of a marriage that is no more. It adds the human character back to us humans.

  Decki
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  LittleToe

  I can totally empathise, having been there myself. Fortunately the British system is set up so you don't usually have to attend court. The memories come flooding back, though - accept them of part of your history and who you are. Give yourself time to grieve.

  {{{hugs}}}
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  merfi

  BTDT too, Kerj. Even the 13 years and many of the memories you described. I'll echo that it does get easier, sort of. Maybe 'different' is a better word. Anyways, I'm 2 years past the day you just described (I got a "congratulations" from my atty, too) and so far so good.

  Tomorrow is another day

  ~merfi
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  purplesofa

  There is something about it becoming final.........that just makes it FINAL. Its legally over.........up until now it wasn't, you knew you were still going to be divorced, but there really is nothing like it being final.

  My thoughts are with you.........you are a great guy, really cute......and have a good personality. You won't stay alone long unless you choose to.

  Sincerely,

  purps
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  My MILs worst nightmare, a nonJW

  It wasn't meaningless.

  I thought of the day we first met, our first date, the first kiss. I thought of the day of our wedding how beautiful she looked, as she entered the room, how all eyes were on her. Of the family and friends that were there all smiling and happy, the dinner and dancing.

  I remember when she was pregnant at the hospital, how she would yell at me to get out of the room and then yell at me for leaving. ( we always joked about that)! I remembered holding our son as I sat at her side....

  you are a good man !
• 

  fullofdoubtnow

  So sorry kerj2leev,

  I haven't been married, so I haven't had that sort of day, and don't want it, but I can see why you wouldn't see it as a day for congratulations.

  take care

  Linda
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  juni

  I'm thinking of you Kerj.

  My son's divorce was just finalized. There are 3 little kids involved. It was a 2 1/2 yr. long very nasty divorce. Now since his ex has met a new man, everything has changed w/her demeanor. At least it's good for the kids whom she was alienating from their Dad.

  Now she wants him to take them a lot.

  My thoughts are with you. Hang in there.

  Juni