by RULES & REGULATIONS 69 Replies latest jw experiences
Welcome Lonecat,
excellent post on the subject at hand. I am happy that you found a life after WTS tried to take yours and ruin it. Your career now sounds wonderful.
Many excellent thoughts on how Jesus was not baptized until age 30, yet the WTS tries to pressure teens and pre-teens into such a step. I hope somebody successfully sues them for disfellowshipping teens and causing turmoil in their lives.
lonecat: After a lot of work on myself,11 years of sobriety and learning to trust people I have made true friends, have a successful career as an illustrator,artist ,and musician and can look back on the whole thing with some detachment.
I am sure the society doesn't breed schizophrenics and abusers. But by their silence they colluded. Shame on them, every one. Bravo that you stood above your past and became a better man.
stillawitness: My parents hated to see me read. My dad would take me to the library every saturday (just to shut me up) and I would practically get misty-eyed just being in there. It was my sanctuary.
I read under the blankets, too. But that was for reading late. I couldn't bear not to know how the story ended. What amazes me over and over is the resliency and strength of Witness children to rise above their raising, and struggle through to independence. You all are amazing people.
garybuss: Yeah, when you're raised by a crazy person, crazy is normal and sane is crazy.
My husband swears he'd never met a schizophrenic until he met me. We are literally surrounded. I tell him he always was, only he didn't know it. I make a friend, say a few lines about my life, and my neighbours just spill. Mental illness is still rarely talked about, a skeleton in the closet allowed to rattle around on it's own.
lonecat said: And whenever an elder would pull me aside to ask about the bruises on my arrms or back of my neck it was never to ask or intervene about abuse inflicted by my mother and father, it was to inquire what I'd done wrong to deserve the beating. It was, of course, always my fault.
First of all, welcome to the board lonecat.
Your story is very heart-wrenching, but unfortunately, it's not uncommon. The elders are totally useless when it comes to family life as many of them feel that a man has every Right to beat his wife and/or children if he feels it's necessary. When you take their chauvenistic attitude, add mental instability and combine it with a high control group, it's a recipe for disaster. As an adult I was shocked to discover that all the families who I thought were so perfect when I was a kid, are amongst the most dysfunctional: Pedophilia, alcoholism, beatings, mental and emotional abuse....the list is endless.
I'm really glad to hear how well you're doing. Kudos to you.
My childhood wasn't as bad as some of yours. My mother was pretty cool and let me have "worldly" friends and hang out with them. However, I wasn't allowed to do the normal things like play sports in school, learn martial arts, celebrate anything with the kids at school. You know, the whole "I'm a JW" crap. I still resent not being able to play sports or go to college.
So I've decided to do something about it. I'm going to be the best parent a kid could ever ask for. I will encourage them to play whatever sports they like. Take them to all the parties and dances. Help them get into a great college and have a great career. I'm going to make sure they have a wonderful childhood and a wonderful life.
On a side note: I started Karate last year and have found out that I am very good at it. I absolutely love it. It's one of the best things I've ever done. It's very relaxing and great exercise and great for build self-confidence and self-worth. I highly recommend it.
I agree with many of the thoughts posted above. I can attest to the fact that the WT and the Elders don't care about kids. In my old congregation, the BOE (led by my dad) made it a "Marking" offense to attend any of the high school sports events. Yes, to attend them! Did the BOE offer anything as a subsitutute in a town where there was literally nothing else to do? No. There was only two movie theaters, and when both of them were playing an R-rated movie, well then there was nothing else to do but become more isolated and introverted from society.
Anything that we, teens did, we had to do under a cover of false pretenses. We couldn't go to the park, and play basketball. I couldn't just ride my bike during the summer, because some stupid J-Dub would call my mom and tattle on me. After all, what business does an Elder's son have riding his bike, and enjoying life, when he should be knocking on people's doors.
I remember being tattled on because I was seen walking into the library. That jerk elder would say, "What need is there to go to the library, when we have Jehovah's provisions to read?"
Wooooow. What a miserable existence that used to be for you! Especially after considering the jerk elder's comment...man. No wonder you had to get out. Comparatively, I guess I should be thankful it's more liberal 'round my neck of the woods...
BTW what part of California was this? Central California?
Edit: Just read lonecat's story. What awful treatment....!!
Well, I'm glad to see you moving past that elder-sanctioned abuse and into a good person. Please stick around and soak up the encouragement and conversations.
SirNose,
The library experience I speak of did not happen in California. It happened in New Mexico, Taos, New Mexico, to be exact. And the Elder that said this had a Bachelor's from the University of New Mexico (he was one of two J-Dubs, that I ever knew that had a Bachelor's). To his credit, my dad was a little more liberal, in matters of reading. I did stick up for me in that instance, he said that it was good that I was at the library, rather than running the streets like some wild worldy kid.
Edited to add: Lonecat, I am trully appaled by how you were treated. That is completely out of line. I hope you are becoming a more complete person now that you are out.
And to think....the "Society" gives the world a hard time for baptising babies...when they basically do the SAME thing. I have seen NINE YEAR olds get babtised!
thank you lonecat for your post, it sounds like your abusive parents found their comfort zone in an abusive religion. i'm glad you escaped, congrats on a career and getting the best out of life before it was too late. how long do you think it will take to recover from our childhoods? :)
Ok, so I missed the part where you guys are x-jw's, but why do you knock me for being totally happy in my faith, and getting all my prayers answered? Your religion proved to be false, so you don't believe that I can be happy? I'm happy because I know the truth, see all the false religions for what they are, have more than enough blessings on a daily basis, and know for sure just where I'm going when I die, because I walk by faith, and not by sight, and totally trust in the Lord for everything I need in life and He provides it. There are no strings attached, you just have to want to be forgiven, and mean it with your heart......................simple as that!
This issue is the Tower's soft underbelly. Some day there will be four teenagers on national TV telling their story - that they were baptized JWs at 10 and df'd in their mid-teens and cut off from family and friends in cruel fashion. The public will not be amused. The huge negative publicity will be another nail in the coffin for the WTS.
God provides all you need free with no strings attached, but you have to have faith to receive the free gift given freely by Christ, and when you accept it freely, your life will change for the better.............But, like I said you HAVE TO HAVE FAITH!
