Why do relationships fail???

brokenhearted

Hi, just want to say to everyone I love this board I’ve been raised as a witness but I’m out since I was 18 …

But today I could really use somebody’s advice.

I’ve been in several relationships but my last one was truly the love of my life. We were crazy about each other. He is a brilliant guy, larger than life. My mom even called him my “Mister Big” (Sex in The City kind of thing –wink, wink--)
But lately something started going wrong and I can’t understand what, he’s no longer responding to my calls and I’m lost for words.

If you have anyone special in your life how do you make it work? how do you make your relationship last? And how do I get him back???

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE share it with me today

gordon d

Hi Brokenhearted and WELCOME to the board!!!

Sorry 'bout your pain...The only thing that I know of that has ever helped anyone in understanding the dynamics of relationships is reading chapter 4 of M.Scott Peck's book, "The Road Less Traveled"

I even had a weekly study with our teenage daughter based upon this book!

It's pretty powerful stuff.

Glad you're here!

Nosferatu

And how do I get him back???

Love doesn't get turned on and off like a switch, it fades in and out. It's possible that his love for you has faded out. I'm sorry to say that, but that's pretty much how it works.

Besides, he's not your "ideal man" if he isn't in love with you. Your "ideal man" would be someone who would'nt lose interest in you, correct? If this guy is no longer responding to you, it's time to move on.

megsmomma

Can you give more details? Like how long were you seeing eachother? How well did you get to know him? Do you think he was showing you his true self?

I feel like I owe the success of my relationship to us both being open and honest and we love to talk to eachother. A great "game" we came up with while camping is "truth or truth". You can ask anything....but, you better want to know the answer, cause you can't get mad at the person for telling the truth. (It's kind of a stupid game now though....we end up asking things like "Tell the truth....did you really like the new slippers I got you?")

I hope in the end....you get whatever makes you the happiest!

brokenhearted

megsmomma,
We have been seeing each other for about 6 months now. But I believe I know him pretty well, I've seen how he deals with people and how he thinks even before we became a couple. But in last month or so, something started changing. He wouldn't tell me what, even his behaviour became erratic at times. I'm a medical professional and thought maybe he even got something there he's not telling so is trying to find the way out, without hurting me too much. I mean I know several people in his family died of cancer. I mean he's a nice guy and before all of this he was chasing after me more than I did after him --wink, wink-- I blame now myself for not locking him in when I had a chance ;). Now I feel really stupid and don't know what to do. I mean, I appreciate some of you might think I should just forget and move on.... Believe me I've been in relationships before but this is different. You feel like you are loosing something you should have guarded with your life. It is one of those feeling that don't come along often. I don't know what else to say really.

vitty

I know this is hard but please dont be tempted to ring or text him..................

jgnat

In the "real" Sex-in-the-City, Carrie does NOT get "Mr. Big". You can't MAKE people be loving or sensible. You may have to wait this out, and if he drifts BACK in to your life, ask what happened. If you get less than total honesty, perhaps he's NOT Mr. Right.

megsmomma

Well....sometimes people start to think what they have is "too good to be true", or think they "don't deserve the happiness"......and they sabatoge the relationship. If that is the case with him, then I would advise you to just give him some space, but maybe send a card....let him know you are there for him if he needs a friend, whether he wants a relationship or not. I hope he isn't sick or anything like that.

If he is pushing you away because he has some sort of "relationship issues"...then he won't come around and your one more step closer to finding a true love!

Hang in there....I know how frusterating it is to wait on the right one....and recognizing it when you finally have it.

The secret to a staying together is....staying together. (Something my g-pa likes to say)

Outaservice

Just a thought. Were you both JW's? And if so, are you both out? If he was, is he possibly feeling pressured to get back in? Etc., Etc.

Outaservice

lonelysheep

Megsmomma--such good advice.

Why do relationships fail???

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