(((((((((((((((((((hugs Jez))))))))))))))))))))))))
Last week my faithful companion died in my arms...he was 12 also......so I totally understand what you are going through. Since his illness wasn't causing him pain(according to the vet & I didn't sense any either) we had decided to keep him with us until it was obvious he wasn't enjoying life as we knew he should. It happened in a 24 hr period....from chasing sticks to staggering to my side, hanging his head in confusion at his condition. I'm glad I didn't have to make the decision to have him put down...as painful as it was to have him collapse in my arms and take his last breathe I'm glad we were able to do it all at home. I haven't sobbed so hard since my father died several years ago.....and have been having frequent meltdowns since then...I miss him so much!
There's just nothing like a dog, one that loves us unconditionally, who makes us laugh when we don't want to, who can't wait to see us when we return home at the end of the day(this is the time I miss him most!)....I share your loss, Jez.....my heart is broken too.
bythesea