Fatherless

Junction-Guy

I just have to post about this. I mentioned in another thread that I have always felt like a bastard. I dont know what it feels like to have a caring concerned Dad. My Dad's only concern was my "spiritual progress", everything else didnt matter. A good father is supposed to be a guide to his son and to help him succeed in life, mine did everything opposite, thanks to the WT. Every year at Father's Day it is a painful reminder of what was stolen from me. There is a restaurant in town that has pics on the wall of high school athletes and their Dad's with them, I have to fight back tears whenever I see those pics. I would love to know what it is like to experience growing up as a normal red blooded american, play sports in school, date, have long term career goals. I did none of these things. I always thought it would be cool to have a Dad that took me to little league practice, took me to the Boy Scouts, just normal things that American Dads do. I just need to vent right now, as Im having some health problems and worried about some hospital tests. I dont even feel comfortable calling my Dad up on the phone, it's like I dont even have one. Dave

unique1

It is never too late to reconcile. He may have changed. Age may be getting to him and he may realize that he needs to be there for you more. Give him a call. I hope everything goes well for you medically.

lovelylil

Dave,

So sorry to hear about you health problems. Also about your dad. My hubby grew up without a dad and he is very saddened by it sometimes. And for some even though you have a dad in the home, he may be unavailable emotionally. That is very hard but please don't feel negative about yourself. Being in the WT has a lot to do with your father's disposition. The WT makes many people very cold. I went thru it with my hubby. My son is now 12 but for the first 9 years of his life, his dad was not available to him. Like you said he was only concerned with the spiritual aspect of the kids (even though I did the study) and as a MS he had no time for them anyway. He would spend anytime with them for preaching at them or telling them how disapointed Jehovah was in them for some minor, normal childhood transgression.

We are very fortunate that we are out now. And with my prodding, my hubby is doing better with our son. I am sure your dad is not really aware of how you feel about him. My hubby was shocked to know how upset my son was about their relationship. Bless his young heart that he had the courage to speak up, through his tears, and get everything off his chest.

May I suggest that you do the same? If you have never expressed these things to your father, I think you should. You can write it down in a letter to him. Let him know you care about him and love him but are hurt by the fact that you have never felt close to him. Hopefully this will help him to open up a little more. Also, many men feel they have to be "strong" and "non-emotional" because they are the men of the family - if you know what I mean? He may not realize how hardened it makes him appear to others. Maybe it is time you have a "talk" with him.

Peace be with you, I hope all works out. And I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers about your medical problems. Lilly

rebel8

Junction-Guy

Thanks you all. My Dad is still an Elder, and still thinks the sun rises and sets in Brooklyn. I could write him a letter, but I would much prefer face to face or even on the phone. It makes me mad because he is sacrificing his family for a cult. I have a niece that he barely knows, she is only 7, he hasnt seen her in 2 years. He hasnt called me in 3 months, and the only reason he called me then was because a bill collector called him about me. He just doesnt care, he has no natural affection for his kids anymore. I much rather tell him face to face, but he lives 600 miles from me, and I dont know when he will be back through this way again. He needs to know the pain I have suffered due to false prophecies and lies. Dave

lovelylil

Dave,

I wish you the best. Lilly

kitten whiskers

Dave, I feel for you. My father-in-law who was an elder all the time his kids were growing up will from time to time apologize to my hubby that he wasn't there for him. I think it is quite common for elders children to get the short end of the stick. My dad wasn't a jw, but he didn't talk much either. But he cared and showed it other ways. Sometimes we have to look for the blessings we did have and try harder for our kids. Like a warm, dry home. A bed and food in our bellies. The fact he went to work and supported us. I wish you peace. I have a hard time with my mom who was a jw and the things she put us through. Things are getting better. Alot has to do with me talking to her about it. Of course she defended herself and didn't really feel for my suffering, but she did apologize for hurting me and that has helped me to let it go and move on as an adult instead of the pain of a child that is inside. I know my kids have a lot they can complain about with my quick ability to yell. But I try to give so much love and hugs and kisses that hopefully they will know how much we love them and tried. Parents aren't perfect. I'm not. I tried to indoctrinate them from infancy with cult teachings. May they and God forgive me! May you find peace Dave and heal. Kitten Whiskers

Beachbender

Dave sending you positive thoughts and prayers today. I wish you hope, and peace of mind and heart. Take care of yourself.

delilah

Sending you hugs Dave. I hope your test results come back normal....got my fingers crossed for you.

Dave, call your dad. Or, write him a letter and tell him all you're feeling. You just may be surprised. I hope so. Maybe it will be a wake-up call for him. Best of luck to you.

Hugs, Dee

megsmomma

(((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))and good healthy vibes to you Dave. I understand your hurt and pain. Abandonment is a hard thing to deal with.

Fatherless

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