What I have wondered, is how true were the Witnesses about the psychological affect of having multiple sex partners in our lives? I remember reading, and hearing in talks, that people who have turned themselves into the type of person who engages in indiscriminate sex, will suffer depression, problems in relationships and illnesses related to such a life style. This line of fear was often drawn, to make a young person in the congregation fear the idea of having sex out of wedlock, and perhaps be enough to control the extreme drive of their hormones in early years. Yet, in your post Witness life, have you found people who practice a life of multiple sex partners to be this way?
Where I work, I work with a young man named Charles. He is in his twenties, doing well financially, and is active in his sex life. He does not hold down long term relationships, as he wants to sample as many good looking woman as he can. Often making crude comments like, "I plan to bounce her head off the head board later." With such an open attitude of wanting woman, only for sex, you would think that woman in the work place environment would move away from such a man. While you might think this, you would be completely wrong. This man has been with no less then 20 woman in the place I work with, that are open about their sexual encounters with him. All of which, did not want a relationship, but rather a casual sex partner they could count on and come and go with, when ever they pleased. Charles was an eye opener to me, as I worked in small work environments for a long time, and never realized how normal his personality was. He drinks a lot, smokes a lot of pot, and yet he seems happy.
Where I work is a woman named Trina, she is beautiful by any standards. She started working with me about two years ago. She claimed to be very Christian, very conservative, and so on. I thought she was a very nice girl and would talk to her a lot, as she seemed to be level headed. She would mention that she thought sex should be something special and not something that should be treated as a casual encounter. I was not shocked she felt this way, as Christians normally teach these principles. About six months ago, I was talking to another man from work and he mentioned that he had had sex with her. Nothing really shocks me anymore, but I was a little surprised, as she hid it well and even a couple days earlier was mentioning how she felt sex was best when in a relationship or even marriage. Soon though, I learned she had had sex with about ten men in the call center, that I knew of ... including the legendary Charles. Why was it, that she was just as sexual as Charles, and yet tried to show others she was not?
In my time as a Witness, from growing up around it, to diving deep in to it. I always remember the strong sexual energy of the young people. Talking about sex, noticing sex in movies and so on. I could never begin to count how many people married because they were horny, or got disfellowshipped for acting out sexually, out of wedlock. In each case, they all had the unrealistic idea's of the society. That sex, was something that was perfect and best, when done in wedlock. They felt that once they found the person they wanted, they would marry and that pure essence of marriage bed sex would make them better then the world of the Charles, and Trina's. It made them better humans, better people and above all "Better Christians." Yet, without even mentioning it, people who were former Witnesses will read this paragraph and think of dozens of examples of failed marriages, caused and often linked to this unrealistic few of sex.
So what is the perfect sexual history? Do you want to be someone who is open to having random sex, with anyone, anytime, and without commitment? Do you want to be someone who preaches that love and relationships are needed to have sex, while you go home each evening in engage in casual acts of sex with any one your hearts desire? Or do you save yourself, find the person you think is right, and have sex with them in marriage? In all three examples I have seen success and failure. In all three examples I have seen depression, and excitement. Yet in all the examples of my own personal life, I have often seen one over laying message and theme. Sex has as much power to make life, as it does to destroy it.
Charles, recently learned that one of his one night stands, who said she could never get pregnant. Is now pregnant and wants him to pay child support, and is harassing him to the point that he can hardly make it to work anymore. He spends all day, sitting at his chair depressed, stressed and angry. He will come by my desk from time to time and comment that life sucks and this woman he got pregnant works only a few aisles over. Other woman do not want to touch him anymore, as he has a child coming and his way of dealing with it, is so wrong, that woman see him as a pig now.
Trina, quit the job, where she made good money. When it became too open that she was sleeping with everyone. I guess it is hard to hide, when most people sitting next to you, have seen you naked. She needed to move her act on the road, and now works at a location in town that pays about half what our location pays and last time I saw her was at a friends going away party and she was drunk cussing, and not acting all that Christian like. Yet, she explained to me that she was not a bad girl in that slurred drunken manner, that is so easy to imitate.
Where are the Witnesses who left their perfect marriages, they got in to for the wrong reasons. Many of the ones I knew, left the religion, some took on lives like Charles, some like Trina and some went into another marriage, and some are just doing fine without sex. Yet they, like the others, will never be able to say, "I have only been with one person." So is a life with multiple sex partners bad? My conclusion on the matter, is that like every thing in life, it depends on the person and the reason behind why you want sex. Yet, as much as I dislike saying the Witnesses might have been right on something, when they are wrong about so much. I have not seen shining examples of happiness with anyone I know that is overly sexually active, and sexually obsessed and I know more people who are like Charles, and Trina, then any other type. So I guess it all comes down to balance, can't do to little, can't do to much. Just don't think sex brings happiness, anymore so then money does.
So what are your thoughts on multiple sex partners, in a persons life?