A Ghost from the past

The wanderer

An ugly fight between two friends can damage a friendly relationship
almost irreparably. Around 17 months ago, my best friend in the
organization and I, severed our ties and goodwill because
of the Watchtower Society.

You see he was always very supportive of the Society even after the
United Nations fiasco, and my position regarding the Society was that
it was questionable at best.

Wanting to renew our friendship

He expressed wishes to become friends again which was totally a
surprise for me, considering his undying loyalty to the Watchtower.
However, I do want to reconsider the friendship again.

What would you do?

How would you handle a "ghost from the past" trying to rekindle
a friendship with you especially if they were your best friend?

What advice can you offer in letting bygones be bygones?

Thank you and respectfully,

The Wanderer

daystar

I can understand your position as I too lost a very dear friend in a similar manner.

I say give him a chance, but be wary.

Warlock

As long as he knows where you stand.

Warlock

Doubting Bro

Perhaps he's come to the conclusion that your right after all? I'm willing to bet that your conversations with him sparked research. And, once that horse leaves the barn, there is really no turning back.

The wanderer

Dear Doubting Brother:

Great point, because the last thing that I mailed
him was a copy of the web site Watchtower Quotes.

My impression is that he took a look at it.

Respectfully,

The Wanderer

bluesapphire

I always imagine what if my sister suddenly called me up and said she wanted to restart our relationship.

I think you should pick up where you left off and let bygones be bygones. If he asks questions, don't answer them. Just tell him where to find the answers himself. Tell him it's in order to preserve the mutual respect you have for each other.

If he tries to re-indoctrinate you into the Watchtower, ask HIM questions that will make him think.

Stay upbeat and act the way you always have acted with him.

OnTheWayOut

WTS loyalists do not try to rekindle friendships. Only fringe believers or doubters or unbelievers do so. Loyalists might try to reactivate a past friend, but they would be clearly cautious about the friendship. They would still focus on the "saving" of the past recruit by talking about Jehovah or the Organization. If your friend is talking about past good times, the Bears, or the Yankees, vacation, etc.- then see what you can do to meet him halfway. Start by avoiding the discussions of WTS as suggested above. If he is wanting information to help himself out of the borg, you will know. If he is wanting to save you, you will know.

sspo

IF YOU WERE IN THE BORG I'M SURPRISED HE DID NOT TURN YOU IN TO THE ELDERS IF HE IS SO LOYAL TO THE ORGAN.

YOU ALREADY RECEIVED GOOD COUNSEL FROM OTHERS BUT I WOULD DEFINETELY GIVE IT ANOTHER TRY IF HE WAS TRULY A GOOD FRIEND.

HOPE THAT THINGS TURN OUT WELL

tetrapod.sapien

hi wanderer,

What would you do?

be his friend! :) show him the postive growth you have made as a person, and always give your old friends the benefit of the doubt. never give up on them, or in your possible anger and saddness, burn any bridges. after all, we were once them, weren't we?

oh, and congrats! :)

peace,

tetra

LongHairGal

Rich,

Sure, I believe in letting bye-gones be bye-gones. The thing is, you are already out and he is not. You can be friends with anybody you want since you are out and you are free.

It is the JWs who cannot be friends with anybody they want. So, the thing is, can he keep his friendship with you secret? To you, it shouldn't make any difference because they can't hurt you because you are beyond their reach. So the thing is: will you accept his friendship even though he wants to keep it "secret"? Or, would you be insulted? As for me, I would accept the person's friendship because I understand and would keep their secret.

LHG

A Ghost from the past

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