What do you look for in a "good friend"?
Describe What A "Good Friend" Is To You
by minimus 25 Replies latest jw friends
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unhappy
Someone who is loyal, always there for you, and not someone who is always taking (like the dubs). Someone you can laugh with and never fear rejection. That would be the perfect friend for me. (haven't found one of those yet).
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reneeisorym
Someone who you can tell anything to without them judging you -- and help, not turn their nose up at you.
Someone who gives and doesn't expect to recieve but you feel compelled to give back to him/her.
Someone who has unconditional love for you.
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diamondblue1974
Unconditional honesty, loyalty, empathy, generosity, sense of humour (because they will often need it), depth, spirituality, intelligence.
Do I ask too much?
In return I give all the above back.
G
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OpenFireGlass
Ya'll have just described my Dog!
LOL, PEACE, Mike
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J-ex-W
All of the above, plus:
Someone who will 'fight fair.' Honest and fair. Someone who is close enough to you and respects you enough to give you their real opinion, even if it is tough to hear. And who will occasionally have those hammering-out, air-clearing discussions in an honest and fair manner when tensions have been left unaddressed for a while. Someone who cares enough to do that, to reset equillibrium, to restore the balance. And who accepts and respects the things that are important and exciting to you, even if they are not important and exciting to them. And someone who lets and expects you to do the same. I'm describing my best friend right now, BTW, thinking of a very satisfying and productive air-clearing we had yesterday while I helped her put out her Christmas decorations yesterday. [I don't celebrate, but she does.]
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zagor
Somebody with whom I can have more than a beer and a coffee. Someone I can trust to with my life. And when I say something to them I can be confident it will stay between us and that none of that will ever be used against me no matter what. Someone with whom I don't have to watch every word I say or they with me for that matter. It must be two way street in every respect. And even if we do have disagreement we can quickly restore balance because power of friendship is stronger than momentary madness. Anything less than that is not a friendship but acquaintance....
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Mulan
I read once that you know if a friend is a really true friend, if you would want them to go through your things after you died. That's trust.
For me, it's all about sharing. To have a friend, you have to be a friend. It can't be all about me. I need to be interested in them, their lives, their problems and vice versa. They can't be a "user". They call me as much as I call them, and are there for me when I have a problem..........death in the family, illness and need help, babysitting when my kids were young, and knowing what to do without being asked first.
I have a friend like that, and she is a JW. She is still my friend.
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minimus
I believe we all have "friends", people we can have a good time with but they're only your "friend" when things are good. A real friend is there for you------no matter what!
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Abandoned
I can't answer your question, but I have to comment on this thread.
The idea of friendship is one where I feel very shunted. I really struggle with this concept because of all the experience I have shunning and abandonding (and being abandoned) that I learned from the jw. I've made a lot of progress and I hope to get this stuff down, but I still have a lot of black and white thinking and judgmental crap to wash out of my brain.
I guess the best friend I could have would be one who wouldn't feel threatened when I pull into my "i'm scared" shell. That shell has saved my sanity over the years, so it isn't going away any time soon, but until I finally get over my fear of abandonment and until I finally deal with all the insecurity issues that I developed on account of the wt guilt and fear, I'm going to pull away from time to time. It would have to be someone who could see both my strengths and faults and still want to be around me.