Child dies because he did not want to go to the meeting

by VanillaMocha73 41 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

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  Effervescent

  I am a mother of an autistic son. As others have said, you can not begin to imagine the intricacies of raising a child with a developemental disability. From the time of birth until about 7, he would fly into a frustrated rage for something like a tag on his shirt bothering him, or because you didn't cook his food hot enough. You work through this stuff and eventually it may or may not get better. Every autistic child is different, and you never ever know what your day is going to be like, good, bad or more often than not... ugly. You just have to love your way through their rough spots.

  I can't imagine what this family is going through. I can imagine they are already carrying enough guilt. Regardless of their religion, they deserve the utmost respect for choosing NOT to institutionalize a child that can be difficult to raise, and giving him a stable home. I applaud them, and wish I could personally hug his Mother very tightly right now. She didn't sit on him until he stopped breathing, the cops did. She must be going through hell right now.
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  Sunspot

  From the time of birth until about 7, he would fly into a frustrated rage for something like a tag on his shirt bothering him,

  Oh boy, Effervescent----did you hit a nerve!

  I SO remember this business with the tags.....it was TERRIBLE because EVERYTHING had a tag on it and even if you clipped them off even right next to the fabric---it would make him squirm and itch and wiggle and try and take his clothes OFF at the meetings...(sigh) It was a struggle to find anything that didn't have a tag on it and he LOVED being naked....which was not too well appreciated in the Kingdom Hall.
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  Effervescent

  Sunspot- I know it's not funny, but you made me giggle a little bit about your Grandson wanting to be naked even when he was at the meetings. I totally relate to that one. We finally did find the right combination of clothes for my son. He has to have soft long sleeve shirts and soft khaki pants. I think it's Haines that has the tagless shirts you can get. (found at Wal-mart) Because yeah, you just can't cut those tags close enough, you have to go in with a seam ripper and make sure every shred is out. He tries on everything at the store, and then everything has to be brought home and washed, sometimes several times so the fabric is nice and pliable. Even then sometimes it takes him weeks and months to break in a new outfit. It can make shopping for him interesting!
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  LittleToe

  In Britain Autism is classed as a Learning Disability and is supported by Mental Health departments. Folks have already stated some of the difficulties in attempting a "normal" living arrangement. Aggressive behaviour is not uncommon.

  Positional asphyxia is a very real threat, and sitting on patients is just not acceptable, with a three or five-man team used to restrain a patient, one of whom monitors airways and levels of distress, etc. Such numbers of staff are difficult to maintain even in an Acute Psychiatric ward, far less by Police attending a neighbour's lawn.

  The kid is brain-dead - though the term "murder" is a little strong, it sounds like manslaughter to me. It's happened before, and hopefully will happen less every year as training improves. It's very sad indeed, for all concerned.
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  undercover

  It wasn't the first time the Colindres family had to call police because their severely autistic son, Kevin, had become aggressive.

  Twice before, Miami police took the 18-year-old to a psychiatric hospital for treatment.

  Assuming that the incidents of having to call the police were all in recent memory, it's apparent that the family was no longer able to properly care for an individual as handicapped as this young man.

  Assuming also that the family was devout JWs, I can't help but think that maybe they were afraid to admit they couldn't handle it. As JWs we were so indoctrinated to think that being at meetings and in the congregation solved all our problems and Jehovah would give help and comfort to those who needed it. I could see parents who 100% accept the WT authority being reluctant to let their handicapped (adult) son be taken to a "worldly" institution.

  It's possible that this young man was so strong and violent that it took the police the means they used to subdue him. That's not to absolve them completely however. Once they knew they were going to have to do a hard takedown and that this young man was handicapped, they should have called for backup of someone used to handling with mental patients and called paramedics to be on standby if nothing else.
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  rebel8

  People who have experience with autism, what is your general opinion about taking an autistic child to meetings? I know there are different severity levels of autism. Doesn't autism generally entail extreme difficulty being in group situations?

  Seems to me it may be a little like torture to go to a kh, be quiet, and sit still around all those people (on top of all the reasons why it's torture for non-autistic people to go). If it's really hard for them, you have to wonder if a Loving God (TM) would have really commanded everyone to attend constant meetings and not even give a pass to people like this.

  [[I'm not saying the parents in this case understood that--we don't really know if they did. Plus we don't know if the parents really kept trying to force him to go. It's possible he started getting riled up and they said ok, you don't have to go, but he was too far gone to calm himself.]]

  Just wondering in general what it's like for an autistic child to attend meetings.
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  Brigid

  This is just a sad story no matter how you slice, spin or tell it. They happened to be JW's and I, through my own experiences have a gut reaction that tells me this exacerbated the already difficult situation...but it is simply that, my own experience.

  My sister is a moderately functioning person with autism. She was given to bouts of violence at times due to sheer frustration and lack of normal judgement. I remain convinced that the illness with all of the tension it brought was not helped by us being Jehovah's Witnesses. How could she fit in to the definition of "normalcy" that the witnesses demand? She was socially very awkward, a bit sloppy, and shall we say, sexually extroverted in an inappropriate way. All of this did not sit well with my mother who wanted us to be perfect witnesses and as a result one day, she tried to strangle my sister, then sent her to school with the strangulation marks about her neck. Subsequently, the authorities were called and my brother and sister spent time in foster care. I feel for my mother to this day as much as my poor brother and sister. My sister for obvious reasons, my brother, because he just got caught in all the subterfuge and remains trapped with it hanging about his neck, and my mother who was just trying to be perfect with the perfect children in the eyes of an unpleasable corporate god, Jehovah.
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  vomit

  Bawrrrrrrrguh Bawrrrrrrrguh Bawrrrrrrrguh !!!
  Roars coming from the back of an assembly hall.
  As a child I wondered where the disabled fully aware and uncomfortable going to the assemble, and could only scream in protest. Expecialy after I watched the film My Left Foot. After a child is 16 and really doesnt want to go to the meetings they can excape but poor disabled people never can.
  I was more uncomfortable at the inaction of the parents that would ignore the pleas to leave.
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  LoverOfTruth

  I was always fairly progressive with my children when I was a JW but I Still have regrets. I couldn't even Imagine having to live with something like this! Perhaps we'll hear from the family someday.
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  BluesBrother

  I am so glad thatI read this thread. My feelings ranged from indignation at the gross miss information in the title. to sadness for the family involved and then a deep respect for those of you here that have coped with autism in your families. You are amazing. Thankfully, the nearest that I got to it is watching the film "Rain Man" , which put a different slant onto it.