Welcome. It is devasting to find it to be untrue, but at the same time a huge relief. Once you get over the shock and trauma of loosing family (which can take months or years) you will be so grateful to be free. It may not seem like consolation at the moment, but one day you will look back and be glad that you had the strength and the brains to leave when young. Imagine how it feels to those in their 30's that married into the organization, or those in their 60's that devoted their entire lives. You are free!!!
A Jehovah's witness - Pioneer
by Fly 55 Replies latest jw experiences
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truthsearcher
Fly: You sound devastated and betrayed, and this is totally understandable. There are many here who have experienced this exact same thing and will be a comforting shoulder to cry on when you need to. It would be good if you could talk to someone in person outside the org to help sort out your feelings (that is, someone who won't betray you. Perhaps you have someone like this who is a JW but they might feel the need to turn you in, so consider carefully). The organization is wrong but that doesn't mean that you have to leave Jehovah or the Bible--they have given you the wrong God and the wrong Scriptures. If you can get a different version than the NWT to read (or even just look at the Greek side of the Kingdom Interlinear), and read it without the WT spin, you will be amazed at the differences. Ask the Lord to help you and give you strength. He wants to help you out of the org --He doesn't take too kindly to false prophets and wolves in sheep's clothing. Try and thank Him for letting you see the truth about "The Truth" before your whole life has been wasted promoting it.
Keep reaching out and let us know how you are doing.
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elinor
I myself have just discovered the numerous lies that this organization has told me and many others. For once in my life I finally feel as if I am not crazy, because this religion wants you to feel like you're defective or damaged if you question even one doctrine.
One thing I am learning though is not to let my anger completely overwhelm me. They have had control over me my entire life and it has to end sometime.
You've gotten some great advice so far, so I can't really add anything else other than keep an open mind and don't be too hard on yourself. There are many people out there who've gone this way before.
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elinor
I do want to add that what Truthsearcher said about getting another translation of the bible is excellent advice. I have been comparing the NIV with the NWT and it is appalling what they did to the bible. This one thing has helped me to be further convinced that this is a cult and I am doing the right thing in leaving it behind.
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XBEHERE
Fly I feel your pain... welcome to the forum, in the very least you will be free to vent about anything here without being judged.
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Doubting Bro
Fly,
You are not alone. There are several here that are current "active" members, mostly at various stages of recovery. However, one thing we all have in common is that feeling of betrayal and initially, hopelessness and depression. Its been about 8 months since I learned the depth of the problems and became convienced that Jehovah is not using the organization. It still hurts but it WILL get better.
As with the others, my advice would be to take your time, read as much as you can and participate here as you feel comfortable. We've all been where you are now and those who have completely broken free can comment on how well things are going for them now.
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Alwayshere
Fly, know how you feel. Been there. Was in for 33 years and regular pioneered for 2 years. I could not believe it when I seen it was a cult. It really hurt. Raised my kids in it and now they are grown and being raised in it, they think it is the truth so I don't have much hope for them. It won't do any good to cry and you won't feel any better. Fade out if you can and they will think you are spiritually weak. I have been out now for about 3 years and have not been DF. My family still in the organization still speak to me and have one Son and his Wife and daughter who are out. My son and his wife were labeled Apostates because they spoke out. Hoping for the best for you.
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unique1
Well, if you just want to get out of pioneering, do what I did, tell the elders and your family that is has become too much. Noone ever pays you for gas and you can't afford to be driving everyone around all the time, it is causing a financial burden. Tell them between work, cleaning the house, studying for meetings, preparing talks, etc, that you just feel overwhelmed and are becoming depressed and that you would like to take a break. Promise them you will still get at least 10 hours a month if not more. They will try and encourage you and may even offer Aux. Pio, but just tell them you really think your body and mind just needs a break, a vacation if you will. This worked for me. Then for your 10 hours, do phone witnessing (or just tell them that and that you are conducting a few studies) and turn in your time slip with 10 - 15 hours each month. I did that for years and no one ever really questioned where the hours came from. (I certainly wasn't leading more people into the religion).
I know it is a shock, it takes years to deprogram and you will hurt. We have all been through this and feel your pain. I wish you the best!!
Moving is not a bad choice, it is much easier to fade that way, even if it is just 20 minutes away.
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Wasanelder Once
Fly, it sounds as if you don't need any futher convincing that the doctrines are false. So, the next step is deciding what to do about it. You must hve family in, it sounds as if you were reaised a witnoid. So, fading may be the route of choice. Just back off more and more. Don't push what you've learned on others and enjoy the peace of mind. Don't discuss your personal views and don't let the elders have the last word. You don't feel up to discussing your situation.
W.Once
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kls
Welcome Fly , and the best advice i can give is to take it all slow ,with Family and your decisions . This will be an adjustment( to say the least) now that you know the truth of the wt. Take baby steps on your every move and think out your next move.
Many great people here to help