Bouncing Back from the Witness Mindset

by The wanderer 11 Replies latest jw friends

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  The wanderer

  Bouncing Back from the Witness Mindset

  It was not that long ago that some of us on this board re-
  flected the thought patterns of Jehovah's Witnesses. In
  other words, the brainwashing thought patterns instilled
  by the Watchtower Society.

  Have you completely overcome that mindset?

  It would be interesting to know from members on this
  board if they have completely overcome that mindset
  to think, feel, and act on their own.

  Can you give your insights on weather or not you have
  completely overcome the witness mindset? In addition,
  how did you accomplish it.

  Thank you,

  The Wanderer
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  XU

  I don't know if 'bouncing back' is the right way to put it if you were raised in it, because there is no 'back' for you to 'bounce' to. It's more like clawing your way up to the light after being buried alive. I don't think I've fully integrated into a totally healthy mindset, but I'm at least 75% there most of the time. It's too complicated to really describe how I did what I did, all's I know, is that I don't lay awake most nights wrestling with my mind. I'm at peace, but it took years of reading, a mountain of faith (in facts, in me, in life, not god per se), and years of talking. Last night, my cousin's gf was asking us why witnesses do or say or believe this or that. I love the feeling of not really knowing why, like forgetting! My brain isn't all twisted and contorted and in cognitive dissonance anymore. I just asked her if she'd like a free home bible study and she's like NO! So we were like, who cares why they are so dumb, let's talk about our lives and the future.
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  Hecklerboy

  I would have to say that I am completely over think like a JW. Even though my family is totally in and I'm totally out I still find it strange listening to them talking JW talk. It sounds completely alien to me. I no longer try to hide what I'm doing just so they don't feel uncomfortable. I'll tell them about my martial arts training and my wife's college classes. It's kind of strange when I mention these things and they completely ignore them. One time my sister called me in the middle of a martial arts competition and she ask what all the yelling was about. I told her what I was doing and she quickly changed the subject.

  I'm sitting here at work right now playing a Christmas CD on my computer and waiting anxiously for Christmas. My absolute favorite time of year.

  So yes, I'm completely over the JW way of thinking, I'm thinking for myself now.
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  Dismembered

  My wife and children are 100% over it. All that remains is varying degrees of anger at times for me. Feelings of being slighted by an idot cult. It does take time, (years as a matter of fact) to come to the fact that the dubs and their teaching are delusional. My wife and I say it over and over again. "I can't believe I agreed with all that bullshit."

  Dismembered
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  AlmostAtheist

  >>completely overcome that mindset to think, feel, and act on their own.

  I thought I was at a few points along the way, then I'd be chatting with somebody and something would click and I'd realize I still had some little thing left over. Rooting it out only got rid of that one. Over time, more and more has been eliminated, but it wouldn't surprise me to find something left over.

  I think eliminating the need to know any "truth" is a big step. Understanding that the only knowledge available is limited knowledge, that your dearly-held beliefs are going to change (or should) as new information comes your way, and that the "you" that you are today is not going to be the you of tomorrow are all steps on the path.

  I may never get there, but it's a fun trip!

  Dave
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  Carmel

  I was born into the cult but exited mentally by age 12, physically at a little over age 14. Got my degree in biological sciences, minors in Chemistry, Psychology, Sociology and Political Science and went on to graduate school. Married and raised five great kids and had a successful career. Even after all that, and after nearly two decades as an agnostic and nearly three as a member of the Baha'i Faith, I still on occasion recognize in my outlook and processes patterns that were instilled into me as a child and youth.. My guess is that if we were born into it we likely will never completely shed all the imprinting that went on as a child..

  Life is still good though!!

  carmel
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  Tyrone van leyen

  I was born into that load of shit and had so many restictions placed and enforced on me that to this day I celebrate nothing. It is so engrained. I have tried to turf every worthless stupid idea they teach and met oposition for everysingle thought or action I take. Things that people don't even think about and do like they are breathing I am made to pay for. Everyone I see gets freedom and after 20 years of being out they will still not leave me alone. My lifes energy has been wasted defying these relentles drones . My whole family is still in it and I have been villified at every turn. Even the other day, my father conspicuously invited me for dinner and a religious discussion. I have never had anywhere to go to find peace. They have sabotaged all my relationships and education. Even being on this board, my father has called all these brilliant wonderful people losers that are hateful and don't know how to research. He claims he could debate anyone on this board but refuses to and teels me to go to the watchtower sight. I told him I don't have to. I've read the watchtower since I was a kid. It's time for something new. Besides dad I can get all the faulty watchtower logic presented here. Any quote I want with the help of a conscious collective that does far better research. See for yourself. Every step I make, he attempts to bring me three back. I can't help but say that this fills me with hate. He refuses to see the damage it has done to the family. All of this only serves to enbolden me further but I fight daily with depression and anxiety over lost time. If I acomplish nothing else in my life, you can write on my tombstone "he defied them to the end even at his own peril." Unfortunately my father has already told me that no matter what when I die I'm getting a witness burial. I just can't win!
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  jimbo

  Hello Wanderer!!!
  
  Bouncing back may never happen for some of us. We may be affected for life by the garbage we were fed. Some small indicators of our abuse and brainwashing will probably continually crop up.
  
  Look at you!! I think your posting style shows how much our lives have been affected.
  
  Try posting a reply in a rambling scrawl like most of us here do and see if you don't have an impulse to return to your JW roots and format it in a style like Awake or Watchtower.
  
  Break free!! Be free!!! Don't look back!!!
  
  jimbo (of the its great to be free class)
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  blondie

  It is really necessary to gradually take out every belief we have and re-examine it, why do we believe that. Some beliefs might remain intact because the reason we believe is not exclusively JW/WTS based. Others might just need some tweaking or editing; others may just have to go into the dustbin.

  I found that many JWs just believed in a rote fashion. Actually non-JWs can do the same with concepts they have outside the WTS environment.

  That way we own our beliefs.

  Blondie
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  jaguarbass

  I was raised as a jw. I've been out since 83 after 32 years in the organization. One thing that comes to mind, I view politicians with contempt that is one jw trait I havent gotten over. Maybe thats a good thing. I have never gotten involved with illegal drugs. Maybe another good thing. I have been married to the same woman for 34 years. I dont swear. Those are some of the things I havent gotten over. I do celebrate the holidays. I have voted. I read and have read just about everything.