Finally bought Crisis of Conscience today...

by deaconbluez 25 Replies latest jw friends

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  steve2

  Okay, the first chapter is overly apologetic, but keep in mind Ray Franz well understood the suspicious and negative mindset of the very people (JWs) he was trying to reach. He would be anticipating the kinds of thoughts that would be going through their minds in the event that they picked up the book. He had a lot of reassuring to do - especially about his motives and intentions.

  Most of the anti-JW literature up until that time (1982?) had been robustly and even dogmatically anti-JW. Take the vile book "30 years a Watchtower Slave", as an example. Talk about cracking a nut with a sledgehammer. I'm sure that just as many people went running back into the organization after reading that book as those who ran out of the organization! :) Or what about the well-researched but stuffy and judgemental book Apostles of Denial whose author's name eludes me? I remember reading that book and thinking, Where's the concern and heart for the average JW?

  Ray Franz' book is possibly the first expose on the Watchtower that blends respect, compassion and calmly expressed reason. The chapter that I particularly like is the one on blood - especially given the lives that have been lost over this cranky doctrine.
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  JWdaughter

  Crisis of Conscience is an excellent book, and discusses his personal issues and the role he had in the org. and the estab. of doctrine and teachings, and his knowledge of people and events. I haven't gotten into the second much. It elaborates about other issues and his continuing exit journey.

  The books are very much NOT bitter, not hateful and not even angry. I would say the tone is sad. It is well documented. I would say the guy kept good notes and lots of copies for his records. Maybe it was originally for posterity (WT history?). This man had his life turned inside out-from basically the equivalent of a position of advisor to the vatican, and cardinal in line for the papacy to being kicked to the curb and dumped by all his friends and associates. Harsh. He has all the quotes, he has letters, he names names, dates and offences. He knows the doctrines he was teaching. He confeses his wrongs. He still believed a lot of the teachings about Christ/God/HS-but not the wT part in the Scheme of things.
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  Frank75

  For the lurkers here who are still dubs, you need to disregard the angst that you feel and get the book.

  I was being labeled an apostate just about everywhere I went. It got to the point that I had to accept that anyone else who was labeled one was likely a truer brother than the clowns I was rubbing shoulders with! C of C and Apocalypse Delayed proved just that.

  I was trembling when it finally arrived in the mail, (Thanks Randal) and I remember looking at my hands in disbelief as they shook. What is the matter with me? I thought.

  I found the foreword and opening very well done. In order to deal with his own discomfort with the expose (he did not originally want to do it) he just lays out for the reader the process he personally went through. It softened a hard core dub like me to deal with what lay ahead. If he just went straight at it, I think many who were not ready to leave just yet, may have found it a bit much.

  Frank75
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  deaconbluez

  Can anybody tell me why it is that I feel completely depressed and almost physically sick when reading the book? This is puzzling me.
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  Abandoned

  Can anybody tell me why it is that I feel completely depressed and almost physically sick when reading the book? This is puzzling me.

  Well, I'm not a psychologist or anything close, but you are examining the inside of something that you dedicated your life to. I don't remember feeling physically sick, but I have been depressed lately as this whole thing is so incredible. How can an organization mislead on this level and stay in business? How can an organization do so much damage and not be facing legal issues? It's something that shouldn't have happened but it did. How are you supposed to feel when you find out something this big?

  Plus, you may still have some mind-control triggers you haven't dealt with. For the longest time, even after I started celebrating holidays again, I couldn't say "happy birthday" or "merry christmas" to someone who knew I had once been a jw. I just couldn't do it. I felt ugly and dirty. I didn't mind celebrating with them, but I couldn't voice those words. The connect for me was that I was still trying to protect myself from the embarrassment of having been mislead. I was blaming myself for having been victimized by the jw. Once I realized that I wasn't the guilty party here, I could move on. Now, I don't have a problem with this at all.
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  steve2

  Can anybody tell me why it is that I feel completely depressed and almost physically sick when reading the book? This is puzzling me.

  Hey deaconbluez, a really important question. I wouldn't presume to know the answer, but maybe with time, you'll understand your depressed reaction, rather than ask others who don't know you and can only speculate. I used to wonder why the watchtower literature had a similar effect on me (i.e., I'd read the literature and have the same sorts of reactions you describe). In time I better understood my reaction: It had more to do with my growing awareness that I needed to do something with my life rather than turning it over to others to sort out. This may not necessarily be what Ray Franz's book is inviting you to do, but I suspect it's something you may need to do.