I put 'frighten' in quote marks because I'm not sure that's exactly the word I'm looking for. I've been away from the borg for 10 years now, and it doesn't bother me these days when I'm called on by JWs - most of whom I know as I'm living in the same area still. I can quite happily stand up for myself to them - although I have to be a little careful what I say as I was a fader and never DF'd. My mum is still in so for her sake would prefer not to be DF'd for apostate views.
I've been called on twice in the last 3 months by a lady who I've always thought very sweet and kind, but told her very firmly I have no interest in coming back and explained some of the reasons why. Last time she called, one of the elders in the cong was working my street too, and as soon as he walked past and looked at me I felt tense because I just knew he was passing judgement on me in his mind. They can't help themselves! This could be because he attended the judicial commitees I had the 'pleasure' of experiencing. It could also be because he could get me DF'd if he really wanted to, as I live with someone and have been divorced for reasons other than so called scriptural reasons. I know that if he knocked on my door I would not answer it. I would not have the courage to talk to him. I resent feeling fear of someone like him after all this time. I don't feel I have to answer to him anymore, I'm very happy and proud of my achievements since leaving. So why does he still have this power over me??? Its very annoying. Am I alone in feeling this way?