I usually tell them I'm DA.I tend to feel like it's my way of respecting their belief that way.When I was a dub I wouldn't have wanted to talk to a DF or DA ed person.I was at a family wedding a couple of weeks ago and lots of people came up and said hi to me.People who know who I am and know I'm DA ed.I was polite and said hi back but I didn't really talk to anyone unless they talked to me first.I'm asking this question because my second cousin came up to me and said hi.He asked how I was doing I said I'm great.Then I told him I'm DA ed.He said really I said yes it's been 8 happy years since I left.Then I walked away.I think I was rude.What do you say when people come up to you and say hi??
What do you do when JW's talk to you???
by noni1974 17 Replies latest jw friends
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Fe2O3Girl
I have been DFd for 12 years. The very few JWs I have contact with are through my parents, so they know my status. As they are able to let good manners and natural affection dictate their behaviour more than adherance to Watchtower rules, I am happy to be polite and friendly with them. I have never been subjected to preaching or pleading - if I was, I would make my excuses and leave.
It isn't my job to enforce Watchtower rules. I am pleased for the few who haven't had their consciences replaced by the bound volumes.
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luvbug2007
I run in the other direction!
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noni1974
Here's the thing about me.Even when I was a dub I was not the type of person who just walked up and talked to people I didn't know.I guess I was shy.But now when I do run into JWs I know and they talk to me it kind of weirds me out.I get this tingling at the back of my head and I just don't want to talk to them.I think I shun them first.Until last year about two weeks before I joined this fourm was the first time I saw any of my family in about 7 years.It was at my great Uncles furnel(non JW).My one aunt walked up to me and gave me a hug and told me thank you for being such a good daughter to my Mom.I hadn't seen her or talked to her for any reason in 7 years.Needless to say I was shocked!! Then a week later my Mom's brother my uncle was in the hospital dieing.I went to the hospital to help my Mom and my aunt just spoke to me like I was a normal part of the family.Something happened with an elder at the hospital were the elder told me I was not supposed to be sitting with my family and some of them were uncomfertable with me bing there at all so I should find a place to sit by myself.Well I just picked up all of my stuff and left the floor.I went down to the front of the hospital and cryed like a baby.My Mom called me one my cell phone and talked to me telling me no one felt like that the elder just pulled that out of his ass.My other aunt got on the phone to convince me to stay.She told me my family wanted me there and needed me to be there for them.Well I calmed down and stayed.But ever since then it's like I'm not totaly shunned like I was before.I was invited to the wedding.I was asked to be in the family photos.My two aunts talk to me.Not everyday or anything.I have there phone numbers now which I never had before.I was told I could call if I need anything.My one aunt who hugged me at the furnel home tells me when she see me that she misses me and wants me to come back to the meetings.My little sister has started talking to me.My brother has started talking to me some.It's weird I tell ya.I think all the shunning started because I shunned them first.I stopped talking to them then I moved away and didn't give anyone my phone number or address except my Mom and Dad.Now I have a diffrent relationship with them.My grandpa is dieing sometime this coming year.He has cancer and is not doing any chemo for it.He's 82 so he wants to be with his wife who died in 96.So I have the prospect of being in another situation where I'm going to be surounded with dubs.I don't like the tingly weird feeling I get when I'm around them.So what can I say to the people who come up to me and talk to me at the KH when he dies?What can I say to my aunt when she "encourages" me to come back to the KH?(By the way my little sister ratted her out to the elders about this!!My sister says she shouldn't be talking to me about spiritual things.My sister actualy thinks I should be respected in my choices and so do my parents!!)LOL
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blondie
I'm not da'd or df'd, but inactive but I don't see why I need to play their game. I'm polite but I have no desire to discuss religion with them. I already know the score.
Blondie
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nelly136
its been a long time since i left so most of them dont recognise or remember me, i can stand chatting away to them and feel absolutely no obligation to tell them anything.
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Nellie
Since I'm not da'd or df'd and I liked most of them, when I see them I speak. So far, they've all spoken back - even those who know I'm inactive.
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jwfacts
I talk to them like I am a human being. Disfellowshipped, apostate: what is that, its cult speak and nothing to do with me. If they chose to have a problem it is up to them not me to have to worry how to deal with it. I am in regular contact with a number of JWs and with some it has become almost normal.
Occasionally old aquaintences that do not know I am d/f will ask how my cong is. I simply answer that I no longer go to meetings. If they push I simply say I do not believe it anymore. Recently I sat next to an elder on the train. I don't think he knew I was d/f because he spoke to me for the full 45 minutes. Most JWs do not discuss doctrine, they just gossip about each other. I know what my friends are still up to so it is quite simple to gossip away with entering into apostate speach.
It is insane behaviour and their problem, why should we have to worry about it, or act like some leper?
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jaguarbass
I dont talk about religion. I'm not df'd or da'd but there is really no reason for me to talk to a jw. When the student is ready the teacher will appear. They are not my teacher and I am not theirs.
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avidbiblereader
Most try to run from me, I have been labeled as the worst apostate by my ex's family who are very influential in the area with $ and in the congr. I use to play by their games, was the one who walked away and played by "oh my I am DF'd and I know they won't talk to me" I have seen them run in the other direction. Now I try to make eye contact and be a genuinely polite to them as possible, I say hi and would talk to them if they would return it back. My veiwpoint is, just because they act unchristian doesn't mean that I am going to follow them. I made that mistake for 22 years, it doesn't allevaite my responsibility to be like Christ just because they won't. I am not better than them or anyone else, if Christ could talk to the harlots and everyone around him, who am I to judge others around me as unfit to talk to?