Somehow.... I am winning out in the end...

by Billzfan23 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • Billzfan23
    Billzfan23

    OK... Something strange is going on here - what is it? I just stepped down as an elder back in early November - and basically have a wife who has her hooks so far in the organization that I thought she would never bend... You know the drill - many family members in the truth - raised in the truth, etc....

    Well... Last night we had a heart to heart about the doubts that I have been having, why I stepped down, and what I think will be a fair an equitable solution to the handling of our two kids. It was like my coming our party - she completely bent on everything... She was completely understanding about my stance on everything, and although she does not agree - she DOES agree to not fight me on everything. I told her that I disagree with her about the blood issue and our young children - and I told her about how I felt about the 13 years of organ transplant confusion that the borg adhered to. I told her how I felt about the complete nonsense of the year 607 B.C.E, as well as Beth Sarim (a particularly sore issue of mine) as well as a number of other reasons that I could no longer be what I was when I was conducting the school as well as my own book study.

    She did not really fight me on anything, and we have been completely cool with each other with no tension and no ill feelings all weekend. She agreed not to turn me in for being an apostate and I agreed that a long custody battle and a divorce was not necessary. She bent on the school sports issue with my kids and I agreed to never try to convince the kids that the "truth" according to her was a farse. I did tell her that I would be open with the kids about the facts that I have learned - and she is OK with that as long as I don't discourage her from teaching them her beliefs.

    In short, I have never been so excited or elated. For the first time in the years that I have had doubts (although I just stepped down as an elder) I feel like I see the light at the end of the tunnel and there is a hope that someday - not only will my kids be free of the cult - but she just might follow me! I don't currently have anyone at all that I can share my enthusiasm with - so where did I go? You guessed it - right here with the good folks at JWD! Let's here some mutual celebration from the good folks here on the board. I know it's the Holidays.. Merry Christmas and whatever your are drinking right now - have another for me! I wish y'all the best this season...

    -Billsfan23

  • abbagail
    abbagail

    Fantastic! You don't hear stories like that very often. Great news and congrats!

    Not to quash your elation, but she wouldn't pull a fast-one on you and rat on you anyway, would she?

    Then again, since you said she was raised in the "truth," sometimes the lifers are more lenient because they've been around it for so long. When I was a JW, one of my married lady friends, 10 years older than me at the time, well she had been raised as a JW and she was the MOST lenient JW I ever met. Whereas myself, as the more recent "newcomer" of the two of us, took EVERY WORD the WT said as DEAD SERIOUS. Heck, I even ratted on myself, lol.

    Glad to hear your "confessions" produced peaceful results and HOPE IS IN THE AIR! ;-D

    /abbagail

    And drinking coffee here... mug #4 for the last 16-20 hours or so...

  • moshe
    moshe

    Hmm- sound really good. Certainly, it's out of character for a witness spouse to be so accommodating. Don't let your guard down, chap.

  • Billzfan23
    Billzfan23
    Fantastic! You don't hear stories like that very often. Great news and congrats!

    Not to quash your elation, but she wouldn't pull a fast-one on you and rat on you anyway, would she?

    Then again, since you said she was raised in the "truth," sometimes the lifers are more lenient because they've been around it for so long. When I was a JW, one of my married lady friends, 10 years older than me at the time, well she had been raised as a JW and she was the MOST lenient JW I ever met. Whereas myself, as the more recent "newcomer" of the two of us, took EVERY WORD the WT said as DEAD SERIOUS. Heck, I even ratted on myself, lol.

    Glad to hear your "confessions" produced peaceful results and HOPE IS IN THE AIR! ;-D

    /abbagail

    And drinking coffee here... mug #4 for the last 16-20 hours or so...

    I don't think she would rat me out at all... - she has always been FAR more liberal than other witnesses. She comes from a divided household so she is no stranger to playing both sides of the fence. She even had lunch with the mother of one of my son's classmates - who has been disfellowshipped for years. This is just like a sweet dream that hasn't ended yet!

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    She probably won't rat you out, that would infringe on her world. She has hopes that things
    will change for you.

    Enforce your agreement on the kids issue. Once-in-a-while, straight up ask them what MOM
    is teaching them. Watch out for the "Dad is letting Satan get to him" comments.

  • Kaput
    Kaput

    I agree with moshe. Adopt the Boy Scout motto: Be Prepared. Aside from that, I'm happy for ya. I'm not happy you're a Billzfan, tho'.

  • Billzfan23
    Billzfan23
    I agree with moshe. Adopt the Boy Scout motto: Be Prepared.

    Never was a Boyscout... I did, however, stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night...

  • Kaput
    Kaput

    GO TITANS!

  • Billzfan23
    Billzfan23

    Both teams are 7-7... Can't beat the matchup - 2 good teams. Gotta go with the home team on this one...

  • sspo
    sspo

    i am verry happy for you and the outcome and I sure hope your wife will keep her word and not turn you in.

    I wish my wife had been as reasonable.

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