Each jw mtg my husb has to attend is a burden for me cuz he always says I start an argument. I know its the demand that the wts has on its followers that they cant seem to deal with. He'll ask me a question and I will give him my undoctrinated answer and he goes off, then announces I'm starting an argument b4 he leaves for a mtg. I told him dont talk to me abt religion anymore and dont ever mention false religion to me unless you are willing to examine yours. I dont want to comlpletely shut his being able to talk if he feels the need, howeve I'm tired of him crucifying ev'1 outside the org.
Why can't I just SHUT UP?
by evetteto 12 Replies latest jw experiences
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jgnat
*sigh* I don't know where to start with you, sweetie.
Why did he get interested in the JW's in the first place? Did he start studying while you were apart?
Have you had a sit-down with him to explain why he took his children out of your home without consulting you?
When you are married to a cultist, you are married really, to two people. The first person is the cult-personality that the Watchtower teaches, and the second is the natural person you likely fell in love with. Learning to distinguish the two personalities is the first step in reaching out to the genuine person.
Your man would be most in cult-mode just before a meeting. You can argue around the block with a cultist if you like, but as you've already found out, the best you can hope for is a "draw".
I'm very puzzled by this man's motives. He seems to pick up and drop off people in his life like they are exchangeable lego blocks. What is he searching for?
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Shutterbug
I told him dont talk to me abt religion anymore and dont ever mention false religion to me unless you are willing to examine yours.
I suspect he can't answer your questions so he defends himself by becoming abusive. Bug
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evetteto
Jgnat, Darlin..you made me smile cuz I knew you just shook your head when you seen my post. I never asked my husband abt the children because I probably would have hit him...I was so upset that even if I wld hv thrown a cottonball at him it wld hv knocked him over. I made up in my mind I was going to let God handle it. We wrestle not with flesh and Blood, but will spiritual wickedness and principalities in the heavenly realms. I cant see the attacks as directly from him, but from satan( the true source). I see the Lord at work, I know the outcome! Why am I fretting? Well the flesh is a real muthaforya. Its exactly why God says to walk in the spirit so as not to fullfil the lust of the flesh! And sometimes I allow the flesh to rule, so I get pissed, but not in the last week...I've been quiet as a church mouse some would say. I havent had to adk him to do anything twice and going to several grocery stores with me on his off day, hasnt done that since hes been back home....Praise God!!! as for starting the study with the jw's, I dont know..for a since of belonging I suppose...I believe that may be the reason cuz hes said to me on sevr'l ocassions that I'm not the only 1 with friends.. thats my theory.
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bernadette
thats a question I keep asking myself.
keep your chin up evette - you are doing well
bernadette
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Momofmany
I wish I had words of wisdom for you. I go thru this often with my mother. I try to walk away, but sometimes I open my mouth and try to reason with her. When you show them another view, they talk foolishly, and then you show them how, and they can't see it. Then you show them another point, and they can't see it, then you get frusterated. At least that's how it plays out in our house.
Just wanted to let you know, some of us still haven't learned to keep quiet.
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jgnat
Then friends is what he needs to get him out of the society. Real friends. Remember, Jesus fed the hungry. We are to do the same.
Are there some brothers in your congregation willing to take him under their wing?
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evetteto
Well he knows the brothers at my church, we were both members there we split up. Of course you know the wts teaches there are no friends outside of the wts. they dont even acknowlege him as a brother because he isnt baptised into their org'n...so much for christianty in that org'n.
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esw1966
It is SO hard to keep one's tongue in check.....
As HARD as it is to keep quiet about your passion, it is best to say very little. By being quiet, you may gain him. If you don't gain him by your quietness, you may not have him in the first place and he could be starting an arguement to push blame onto you for 'ruining' the marriage.
Don't give him an out and a 'reason' to blame things on you. Follow Christ's example. Be submissive to your husband. Lead by example. Show LOVE. Don't get into an argument if possible. After a while, and maybe a long while, he will respect your conduct and find himself hypocritical and phony and ask YOU questions.
Take the HIGH road. Beat him at his own game. He thinks YOU are worldly and unloving. Prove to him you have CHRIST as your leader and perfector of your faith. Show him what REAL LOVE is. He will not find real love at the Hall. Think of Jesus' example. Pray about it. Alot!
LOVE will win in the end. It is something they lack and CRAVE! They think they have the answers, but seeing your joy and happiness and fine conduct will make them question what they believe.
Quiet and loving, supportive, yet convicted. Teach through your conduct and not your tongue. Ask questions at good times or express something that meant a lot to you.
My best wishes for you!
Ethan
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evetteto
Thank you Ethan, I'm working on being quiet cuz aft this last week..I would hv normally gone OFF...but I was praying Father help me zip my lips...had prayer partner too for this one...and as He is Faithful, I hvnt said a word. I hv to recgonize when he ask a question on religion or out of the wt, I hv to just shush...I'm working on it, by the power of the Holy Spirit....thank you for your words of Wisdom.
Evette