by restrangled 19 Replies latest jw friends
Quandry,
Thank you for your post, and yes I know I have to quit. It is a horrible addiction......and I have tried many times with patches, etc. I cannot get the meds for this due two episodes of siezures when I was a teenager...... when I was under extreme pressure from elders.
I quit when I was pregnant with my babies.....for 5 years
It is an addiction that relieves stress, depression, and boredom. I will continue to try.
Thanks Q.
r.
Interesting point, Quandry... here's a thought, Restrangled... it is as if you feel that if you quit smoking now, you are doing what the CO's want you to... and you feel as if they have won. You are, pretty much literally, cutting off your nose to spite your face. You are risking your own life so you can be rebellious and not do what they told you to.
You quit smoking for your babies... isn't that interesting. You were more concerned about your baby's health than your own... and understandably so, in some ways, it's ingrained. But you know what they tell you for emergency procedures on an airplane... you have to put your *own* oxygen mask on FIRST, *before* you place one on your child.
Take care of yourself. Your family needs you... and you need you.
Well, crap, here I am fussing again. I tell you what... if you want, I can tell you what I did to get rid of anger so horrid it was making me physically ill. PM me if you want. It helped a lot.
Hugs to you, Darlin'.
Baba.
I thought more about what you posted. You mention that smoking relieves stress and boredom. Well, here is the key.
You need to get very busy with some important things. Have you completed your education? Don't say it's too late. I am over fifty and back in college. I work full time, too. It is difficult and very time consuming, but worthwhile.
Every time your mom sees the JWs, this is what she says, "Oh, my poor restrangled. Satan still has her in his grip with smoking. The WT is right when it says that people will not be better off leaving the wonderful organization." The witnesses nod appropriately, and agree that you are to be pitied (but are big A toast) and that they are smugly and totally right.
Now consider this scenario. Mom goes to the Hall and elder self-righteous comes up and begins to bemoan the fact that restrangled is on the highway to destruction because of her smoking. Mom says, "No, she is not smoking anymore. Her children and I are so proud of her. She is going to college, volunteering, etc. and is busy and happy. Funny that she does not want to come back to the Witnesses, though." Elder SR does not nor do the others at the Hall know what to think. They become confused, unsure of themselves, and do not like the non-smug feeling.
None of us should let them take our life and health and future. They have taken enough. They view us as disposable. We are not.
~Merry
restrangled . . .you said,
" I'd like to get that CO around the throat and strangle him like I have been....restrangled."
Why don't you sic your dog on him? Make him think !
I'm so glad your mother could sit in your car and express humble, loving human emotion. My wish is that your memory of being with her at this time will stay more powerfully in your heart than any of the shunning behaviour she may have felt forced to comply with in the past.
If only she would. We have talked several times on the phone and its always, well, you haven't quit smoking so I can't see you.
you might not agree, but what about if you did quit smoking so that she could see you? i know she would probably be still told not too, but she might see this as enough of a change to talk to you more.
I really hope everything works out for you, best of luck
Dear Rest,
Ditto Steve2's comments. My nest is empty. I think of those moments -- fewer and shorter -- when I can visit with my loved ones. And I replay them over and over. I foresee no change, yet I may have ONE wonderful moment again, such as that with your mother. Your magnanimity and largeness of heart will prevail. Do you remember Melanie from GONE WITH THE WIND? How she treated Katie Scarlett O'Hara after Scarlett's brazen lunge at poor, weak Ashley is a testament to the saying "love conquers all." Of course, it's the storyline. But I've known people like Melanie: 'Look everybody, here's our darling Scarlett. India, say hello to Scarlett.' Words to that effect.
We here DO understand your sorrow and anger. You shall prevail.
Love,
CoCo
How do you feel about a friend who has to go everywhere with you? Not only does he tag along all the time, but since he is so offensive and vulgar, you become unwelcome when with him. He has a peculiar odor that sticks to you wherever you go. Others think both of you stink.
He controls you totally. When he says jump, you jump. Sometimes in the middle of a blizzard or storm, he wants you to come to the store and pick him up. You would give your spouse hell if he or she did that to you all the time, but you can't argue with your friend. Sometimes, when you are out at a movie or play he says he wants you to go stand in the lobby with him and miss important scenes. Since he calls all the shots in your life, you go. Your friend doesn't like your choice of clothing either. Instead of politely telling you that you have lousy taste, he burns little holes in these items so you will want to throw them out. Sometimes, he tires of the furniture and gets rid of it too. Occasionally, he gets really nasty and decides the whole house must go.
He gets pretty expensive to support. Not only is his knack of property destruction costly, but you must pay to keep him with you. In fact, he will cost you thousands of dollars over your lifetime. And you can count on one thing, he will never pay you a penny in return.
Often at picnics you watch others playing vigorous activities and having lots of fun doing them. But your friend won't let you. He doesn't believe in physical activity. In his opinion, you are too old to have that kind of fun. So he kind of sits on your chest and makes it difficult for you to breathe. Now you don't want to go off and play with other people when you can't breathe, do you?
Your friend does not believe in being healthy. He is really repulsed by the thought of you living a long and productive life. So every chance he gets he makes you sick. He helps you catch colds and flu. Not just by running out in the middle of the lousy weather to pick him up at the store. He is more creative than that. He carries thousands of poisons with him which he constantly blows in your face. When you inhale some of them, they wipe out cilia in your lungs which would have helped you prevent these diseases.
But colds and flu are just his form of child's play. He especially likes diseases that slowly cripple you—like emphysema. He considers this disease great. Once he gets you to have this, you will give up all your other friends, family, career goals, activities—everything. You will just sit home and caress him, telling him what a great friend he is while you desperately gasp for air.
But eventually your friend tires of you. He decides he no longer wishes to have your company. Instead of letting you go your separate ways, he decides to kill you. He has a wonderful arsenal of weapons behind him. In fact, he has been plotting your death since the day you met him. He picked all the top killers in society and did everything in his power to ensure you would get one of them. He overworked your heart and lungs. He clogged up the arteries to your heart, brain, and every other part of your body. In case you were too strong to succumb to this, he constantly exposed you to cancer causing agents. He knew he would get you sooner or later.
Well, this is the story of your "friend," your cigarette. No real friend would do all this to you. Cigarettes are the worst possible enemies you ever had. They are expensive, addictive, socially unacceptable, and deadly. Consider all this and NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!
Restrangled..You made some headway with your mom..The cult just lost..Concentrate on that!..You did good girl...OUTLAW
