What would you do in my situation?

by helncon 16 Replies latest jw friends

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  helncon

  Hi, im new here but have been looking at lots of web sites for exjw's and i can't seem to get any answer in what im looking for.

  I have a bit of a delemia i am DF and my dad (JW) is getting remarried to a JW in March and i am wanting to go but the thing is i haven't been to a KH for a VERY long time and where they are getting married is the one that i grew up in and for this not sure where i am to sit. Do i have the right to sit in the front row or do i have to treat it like a normal meeting?

  Can anyone shed any light on this?
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  Stealth453

  First of all...WELCOME.

  Secondly...you have the human right to do as you please. Sit where you want and do as you like. If I were you, I would sit front and center, and defy anyone to do or say anything about it.

  Been there, done that, and hated the tee-shirt.

  Again....welcome to the family.

  Stealth453
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  sass_my_frass

  Hi, and welcome to the site! Sorry about the DF, it sucks, but it turned out to be the second-best thing that has happened to me.

  Now re the wedding, well hmmmm. The thing is, if you're not interested in getting reinstated you can sit wherever you want and engage anybody you want in conversation. I say walk in head high and hang with the people you know will talk to you, ignoring all the bad juju from everybody else.

  I once attempted reinstatement and as you do I'd leave the meeting just after the prayer, but every month would have to wait around for the elders to notice me and give me my magazines. They liked to torture me for ten or fifteen minutes, waiting in the back row, not making eye contact, everybody else chatting around the invisible disfellowshipped sheila standing out like a herd of elephants that nobody mentions. I took to sending my friends sms and playing pong on my phone, leaning on the wall, feet up on the chair. They noticed that they weren't getting through to me and brought me the damn mags. So just saying; I recommend that you fashion yourself some big brass ones and enjoy the wedding.
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  diamondblue1974

  Secondly...you have the human right to do as you please. Sit where you want and do as you like. If I were you, I would sit front and center, and defy anyone to do or say anything about it.

  I was about to suggest sitting right at the front - its a family matter and the other guests should not be able to dictate their views and opinions.

  DB74
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  diamondblue1974

  PS: Welcome to the forum

  DB74
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  Stealth453

  Yep. Do exactly as you like.
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  unique1

  Usually for weddings the first two rows are decorated and for family. If this is the case sit there. Just walk in and say you are with the Grooms family. If you are uncomfortable, sit anywhere you choose. If you just don't want to go to the wedding, do what JW's do when a wedding is in a church, skip the ceremony and join up for the reception. Good Luck.
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  dedpoet

  Hello, and welcome

  You can sit wherever you want to, and don't allow any of the self - righteous ones that are sure to be there to tell you otherwise. You only have to obey the rule about sitting at the back if you go to ordinary meetings with a view to being reinstated, which obviously isn't the case here.

  good luck!
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  looking_glass

  Welcome! First let me say, I agree w/ everything everyone else has previously said.

  But I get the impression you want to know how this will be handled w/i the KH. My impression is that you do not wish to make it your day, but would rather allow your family member to proceed with their wedding without the JW drama. If that is the case, that is very loving on your part, because JWs will not be so loving towards you and you should be prepared for the cold shoulder and shunning process that will take place.

  In some cases, family members who are JWs who have DF'd/DA'd family members have excluded them from the wedding/reception. Be prepared. Should the elders not give your father grief over his inviting you, and you went to the KH for the wedding, then I believe most JWs would see it as disrespectful for you to sit up front. Keep in mind the keeping to the back of the hall thing is a show of respect and humility (of course BS, but whatever) and that is why the procedure is followed by many.

  Again, I agree with what was said previously, you can sit where ever you want. But again, if you are trying to be respectful of your father, you may want to ask your father what he would feel comfortable with what you do.

  Either way, good luck to you and whatever you decide to do.
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  helncon

  Thanks for the welcome!!!!

  You know i was going to sit in the front row and now i definatly am!!!!!

  I was born a JW and I faded away in 1993 not long after i got baptised but then got DF in 2001 so i haven't had any contact with anyone except my family who i am really lucky still talk to me. So being reinstated is out of the question. But my dad's new woman doesn't want him to have contact with me but he has told her that he will still have the same contact but i just don't want him to do it behind her back.

  They are just having the ceremony no reception this is on her doing as she feels that it will cause problems( she has a sister who is DF), she won't even go out for dinner as a new family. I think there are some problems already?